Broken2 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Well. I read lots of posts by OW here before we had actual sex. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I'm also married, and neither of us were interested in leaving our spouses, so it seemed like we could fufill each others sexual needs and that would be the end. The sex was amazing. So amazing in fact that before I was just slightly dissatisfied with sex with my H, now I'm very dissatisfied. Sex lasted for 2 hrs with MM and I connected with him in a way I didn't want to. I thought I could do this without feelings getting in the way. I realized that I can't and I have to break it off immediately. That night it felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I sobbed hysterically because I know I can't have him. I had no idea I had let myself fall for MM, but I have. It sucks realizing that it has to be over, but it's too real, and if I don't walk away now, I may not be able to. I thought I was so much more prepared than the OW here because I didn't want him to leave his wife, and I wasn't expecting much. I thought I guared myself. Well, I got burned. It's strange though, as painful as it is, it's also very pleasant to actually feel something so intensely. It makes me feel alive instead of the numbness I've felt for the past few years. Does that make sense? All I can think is that song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls: "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"
owcanbhppy Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 sorry you got burned. do something nice for yourself & know that you will be ok.
Marcus as the Peanut Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I was just slightly dissatisfied with sex with my H, Has it ever accoured to you that your Husband thinks the same?? Insted of take it up with him you engaged your self in two H sex session And are now complaiming of getting burned!!! GROW UP,
lovernotafighter Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I was just slightly dissatisfied with sex with my H, Has it ever accoured to you that your Husband thinks the same?? Insted of take it up with him you engaged your self in two H sex session And are now complaiming of getting burned!!! GROW UP, I've read a few of your posts around here...I don't know how to tell you but I'll try..you have a very illiterate air about your posts sometimes like this one it is quite difficult to understand what it is your trying to say..sorry.
lovernotafighter Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Well. I read lots of posts by OW here before we had actual sex. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I'm also married, and neither of us were interested in leaving our spouses, so it seemed like we could fufill each others sexual needs and that would be the end. The sex was amazing. So amazing in fact that before I was just slightly dissatisfied with sex with my H, now I'm very dissatisfied. Sex lasted for 2 hrs with MM and I connected with him in a way I didn't want to. I thought I could do this without feelings getting in the way. I realized that I can't and I have to break it off immediately. That night it felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I sobbed hysterically because I know I can't have him. I had no idea I had let myself fall for MM, but I have. It sucks realizing that it has to be over, but it's too real, and if I don't walk away now, I may not be able to. I thought I was so much more prepared than the OW here because I didn't want him to leave his wife, and I wasn't expecting much. I thought I guared myself. Well, I got burned. It's strange though, as painful as it is, it's also very pleasant to actually feel something so intensely. It makes me feel alive instead of the numbness I've felt for the past few years. Does that make sense? All I can think is that song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls: "Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive" truth be told women have a lot harder time compartmentalizing than men...your MM probably is pulling this off but women on the other hand generally get swept up in the emotional side to EMA. I would keep this unwraps if I were you and not share this with your MM, you may be surprised he doesn't reciprocate immediately.
owcanbhppy Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 yet another poster lost. i dont know what marcus or posters like him are trying to accomplish coming to a forum that is not for them & bashing. theyre not accomplishing anything.
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Atleast now you're being smart, realizing that you can't handle it. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way...And you ending it now before it gets more serious is good. I'm sure it will hurt, but it probably will be short term. Imagine the pain if you'd allow it to go for months or even years! Keep busy, focus the energy into yourself and your husband.
Broken2 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 truth be told women have a lot harder time compartmentalizing than men...your MM probably is pulling this off but women on the other hand generally get swept up in the emotional side to EMA. I would keep this unwraps if I were you and not share this with your MM, you may be surprised he doesn't reciprocate immediately. Well, I'm planning on ending it, so I'll have to tell him why. I think there is a chance he knows. During the act he actually said, "Now don't you start developing feelings for me..." with a smile on his face. It was almost like he was being sarcastic and he knew that we (at least me) were already beyond that point. Thanks WWIU, I will start focusing my energy on my husband. Unfortunately, I think it will take quite awhile before I will be able to keep MM out of my head when I'm with my H.
Marcus as the Peanut Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 owcanbhppy !! Im not tryaing to bash.But im just have a hard time understanding what she is doing here..She betrays her husband and she feels sorry for her self,PLEASE Come on!!!! If she wants my simpathy ,and advice what do do..She can start by OWN HER OWN ****......
Marcus as the Peanut Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I've read a few of your posts around here...I don't know how to tell you but I'll try..you have a very illiterate air about your posts sometimes like this one it is quite difficult to understand what it is your trying to say..sorry. What im trying to say, is stop being such a child about it. You made your bed sleep in it...And stop being sorry for your selfish actions. She gets burned ,what about her husband then??? PS English is my second language.
Touche Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Sorry, but I agree with Marcus. Telling it like it is, is NOT bashing? When will some of you realize that?
Brokenheart17 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Marcus, LEAVE HER ALONE. She came here for support, not to hear you berate her. She's doing that herself. Go away and let others comfort her. Back to the subject at hand. Broken2, I'm sorry you're in your situation and I am in a similar one myself, that I'm trying to break off (4 days NC now, I'm proud to say). That sex stuff, really does complicate matters. You need to make a decision NOW, because if you wait too long, you will just keep getting in deeper and deeper. Protect your heart, unless you're willing to put it in a very vulnerable position. Continue to read these entries, because knowing there are other ladies out there will help you.
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Well, I'm planning on ending it, so I'll have to tell him why. I think there is a chance he knows. During the act he actually said, "Now don't you start developing feelings for me..." with a smile on his face. It was almost like he was being sarcastic and he knew that we (at least me) were already beyond that point. The thing is, he knows why it should end. Both of you are married and both of you know it's wrong to get into a relationship BECAUSE of your spouses. I don't think you need to go into alot of detail with him of the why's it has to end... He DOES know that you have feelings for him, don't think he doesn't. HE may look at it as flirting and feeding his ego, meanwhile you're falling in deeper and developing emotional attachment to him...Most men know women can easily get attached, married or not... Thanks WWIU, I will start focusing my energy on my husband. Unfortunately, I think it will take quite awhile before I will be able to keep MM out of my head when I'm with my H. Just remember how much you have to lose...And, when you think of the MM, push him out of your head. Distract yourself and keep your mind occupied with other things. You've gotten into the habit of letting yourself feel and fantasize about him - Now you have to break that habit. The less you think of him the less you'll feel and eventually the feelings will go away. Don't worry about him at all, he's a big boy and can deal with this on his own. So, don't be too concerned if you hurt his feelings - Gotta put yourself first! Take it day by day and do your best to detach from him. The less you know about him and his life, the better off you will be. Don't flirt with him, email him or anything. Marcus, LEAVE HER ALONE. She came here for support, not to hear you berate her. She's doing that herself. Go away and let others comfort her. This is a public forum, so anybody can reply. He took the time to post a reply and yeah, it was harsh but as he said, english isn't his first language too. Sometimes harsh and tough love is the best kind of advice. Atleast it will make her stop and think - So she won't fall into the MM's arms... I mean, their innocent spouses will get hurt and so will the kids if there are any.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Broken2, Thank you for sharing your experience. I have not had sex with my MM... tough I had wanted to. I know now that I wouldn't be able to handle it. I know that I will completely fall apart if we do have sex. Thank you, again. I agree with the other posters here: do not let him know how the sex had affected you if you want to get out of this affair. Just stay away from him.
Broken2 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 KHLF-- I hope that my situation can shed some light on how you should handle your situation. I honestly believed that I would be able to handle this easily. Not so. In my youth, casual sex was easy. I guess I've grown out of that. I think that it was the care and time that was put into our encounter that made it seem so incredibly deep. It doesn't matter why I'm getting attatched though, the fact is that I am. Be careful. I won't get to talk to him for another 3 days because we only communicate in person. Hopefully the intensity of my feelings will have faded a bit by then. I don't know what I would want. Do I want him to have feelings for me as well? I don't know. I think it would let me feel less like a fool for falling for him, but it wouldn't change the fact that I'm going to end it. I guess there is nothing to be gained by saying anything to him other than I've changed my mind, and we can't do this anymore. For the record, I don't mind Marcus posting. I agree that this is an open forum, and I'm a big girl. If I wasn't expecting people to think less of me, then it would've been stupid to post anywhere.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I don't know what I would want. Do I want him to have feelings for me as well? I don't know. I think it would let me feel less like a fool for falling for him, but it wouldn't change the fact that I'm going to end it. I guess there is nothing to be gained by saying anything to him other than I've changed my mind, and we can't do this anymore. That's the million dollar question, isn't it? I am intelligent and accomplished in my field. I have everything (material) that I need. Nobody who knows about my crush on this MM understands why I'm pursuing it. Neither do I. Sometimes, I think it's because I've never had sex/kissed any one other than my H... and I'm just curious. It is true, I am intrigued by this MM's body and what he can do with me. But that can't explain why I would be willing to throw away everything - family and sanity - right? Maybe I should ask my therapist this. On the other hand... I have become so confident in myself ... that I am almost certain that I can get away with it! Pretty sick, huh? Sometimes, I think that I can have sex with this man... and play him like a yo-yo... and be able to walk away, victoriuos. What's wrong with me????? Beauty (at least the physical type) is a curse. I have always been a late bloomer. When I was in my twenties, I looked like I was in my early teens. (And I could not get ANY guy to look in my direction.) Now that I'm in my early 30's, I look like I'm only in the 20's... and every guy just wants me. I don't know what i want to do with all these male attentions that I never got when I was a virgin.
Touche Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Forget about men for your fantasies, KnowHow! Let's re-kindle what we once had! I'm fed up of fantasy men! They always disappoint. Let's switch teams!
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Thanks, Touche. You do make me laugh. I am in a suspension between fantasy and real life right now. (I'm having a glass of wine- that always does the trick.) But seriously, I am about to have my rose-colored lenses lifted.... My MM's wife caught an email I sent him, basically asking him point-blank if he'd run away with me. hah! It was a very silly impulse! So what did I witness? A cowardice liar. He rejected my proposal to run away - the clean way. But he wouldn't mind my sexual attention for him. scum!
Touche Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Thanks, Touche. You do make me laugh. I am in a suspension between fantasy and real life right now. (I'm having a glass of wine- that always does the trick.) But seriously, I am about to have my rose-colored lenses lifted.... My MM's wife caught an email I sent him, basically asking him point-blank if he'd run away with me. hah! It was a very silly impulse! So what did I witness? A cowardice liar. He rejected my proposal to run away - the clean way. But he wouldn't mind my sexual attention for him. scum! See? I told you! Stick to your wonderful husband and play with me!
Recommended Posts