SoCalCatman72 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Well, I've been abstinent for almost five years since my divorce, mainly for spiritual reasons, but lately I've been really frustrated and wondering if it's worth it. It just seems like everyone else out there is having sex, and they still go to service on Sunday morning. It's not like lightning bolts are raining down on them, I mean most of the women wear clothes to service that look like they belong in a nightclub. It also seems that women lose interest when I refuse to go all the way, or because I try to not view them as a sexual object, (i.e. I don't stare at their bodies or chest, and I don't make crude comments) they must think I'm sexually repressed or something. I'm sorry for whining, I'm just sleep deprived and sexually frustrated. What do you all think, because I'm about 3 drinks away from saying "f*ck it, I'm getting laid".
Tony T Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Forget the remainder of the drinks and go get laid. Exactly what does abstaining from sex have to do with a spiritual aspect? What are you expecting to accomplish spiritually by abstaining from sex? Sex itself can be a spiritual experience. I have always been amazed by the terrorists who believe that if they give their lives to kill people they will go to the next world where 72 virgins will be awaiting them. The LAST thing I would want to deal with in the entire world is 72 virgins...GEEZE!!! Who needs that kind of work when you can get the best sex right here on this earth plain on a Saturday at the right place without blowing yourself up! GO GET LAID AND CALL IT A SACRIFICE TO THE GODS!!!
Sally00 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I admire you for not giving into sex. I'm doing the same. I'm waiting till mariage. There's more to a relationship than sex. You need to find somebody who wants a REAL relationship. Keep up the good work!!! DON'T GIVE IN TO ALL THAT CRAP. (Tony sounds drunk... lol)
norajane Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I've never really understood the abstaining for spiritual reasons, either. And I'm afraid if I met a man who didn't want to have sex with me unless we were married, spiritual or not, I'd know he wasn't the right guy for me. I need to feel the kind of intimate emotional bonding that can only be developed through sex before I made a lifetime commitment to someone. That kind of bonding isn't always possible to develop, and I'd hate to find that out after marriage. So I'd be one of the ladies who walked away, too. It would be easy to think you might be repressed or just plain old not interested unless you explain to your dates why you feel as you do. If you do explain and they walk away, they aren't the right kind of woman for you.
Author SoCalCatman72 Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 I dunno, I guess I'm just confused as to how it seems more acceptable that a woman choose to wait, and she'll still have guys all over her, but a guy who wants to wait is somehow not "right". Sometimes I wonder if the "test drive" scenario is an acceptable compromise. You know, where you test drive the sex just once or twice to make sure that it's not a lemon. *sigh* It was for this reason that I avoided the "meat markets" but I'm so dissappointed that I am considering casting a wider net. I only seem to attract really really young girls (teenagers mostly) with the attitude I have now.
norajane Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Well, I'm 38, so far from my teenage years. I know myself and what's important to me, and what I believe is important in a relationship is far different from what I thought when I was 20. Women are more likely to thing somthing's up with a guy if he doesn't want sex because guys who don't want sex are few and far between, especially if they're older (not a teen or young adult). If you don't even show any admiration and sexual energy toward them, they're more likely to think you're just into them. And those guys that buzz around the virgins? They either have the same beliefs about sex and marriage, or they want to be the one to pop the cherry and hope to change her mind.
Yamaha Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 If your abstaining because of religion then you need to find a gal that feels like you. The problem would arise when one of you isn't on the same page. I would recommend asking them their view if you have an interest in dating, that way you wouldn't waste their time or your own. Or you could go satisfy your carnal urges and go get laid. Your choice.
IrishCarBomb Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 It is important to realize what is it to be human. He have our physical animal selves, and our abstract selves. Don't rush to deny one half of yourself so that another is satisfied. It's a tough balance to maintain, but an important one in finding fulfillment in our lives.
MuNky Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 It is important to realize what is it to be human. He have our physical animal selves, and our abstract selves. Don't rush to deny one half of yourself so that another is satisfied. It's a tough balance to maintain, but an important one in finding fulfillment in our lives. Couldn't have said it better.
stoopid_guy Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Sometimes I wonder if the "test drive" scenario is an acceptable compromise. You know, where you test drive the sex just once or twice to make sure that it's not a lemon. Do you mean date someone, have sex once or twice, then no more till married? I think that'd drive both parties insane.
rina_r Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I've never really understood the abstaining for spiritual reasons, either. Neither did I. Life is too short not to enjoy intimacy with your special someone.
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