Agent M Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Some of you have read my previous posts, but in a nutshell, I broke up with my now ex 2 mos. ago. He did a Jeckyll/Hyde on me...was great for the first 6 mos., then turned into a completely different person! I was baffled and still am, but I hung in there for as long as I could and tried to work it out with him. He sent mixed messages and waxed and waned, which I now understand is typical behavior for him, esp. in relationships. The problem is that he wasn't meeting my needs. The straw that broke the camel's back was when he blew me and some friends off for a planned canoeing trip. The canoe was gone but he was nowhere to be found. I was literally worried sick. He finally got home at midnight. I went to his house and he freaked out on me. So I left, gave it a week, he called, we went fishing, I brought it up briefly but he never apologized or gave me any explanation. I waited another week, then decided I was sick of everything and I totally told him off....big time. He was nice to me right after I told him off, but I took off in my car. A week later I saw him at a party. He gave me this big huge "Hello!!" and I murmured "hey" and turned away. Apparently this pissed him off to no end, way more than the reeming. I don't understaund this. Why? I saw him at a streetfest last weekend. He smiled at me and I just turned away. I can't think of a bloody reason to be his friend (except that I'm going crazy), but this is the problem: I think about him all the time everyday unfortunately. Even when I'm engaged in other activities (at work, swimming, socializing, etc. etc.). It's almost harder to not be his friend than to be his friend...or is it? I'm so sick of thinking about him, and I get tempted to call every week or so. I just wish he would call me and apologize, or say hi, but he may think I'll hang up on him. I know he'd like to be friends, I just don't know what to do because the spectre of him is driving me insane! What should I do??
Author Agent M Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 Someone help please....I'm ready to drive over there because for some reason all the frustration is getting stronger instead of weaker!! Help!
2020vision Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 You need to run IN THE OTHER DIRECTION. This guy is a piece of work. What a complete a**hole! He got pissed when you ignored him because you were not giving him the supply of attention he craves from you. Whether its yelling or kissing, he loves your attention. And you have cut him off. Good for you. Keep it up, FOREVER. This guy obviously does not give a hoot about you, otherwise he would not ditch you. And to top it all off, he tried to play the "it didn't happen" game. I love that one...I went through something similiar for about 3 years! Don't get caught up in the mess I did. You have gotten out of this, now stay out!! Good Luck, 2020
Author Agent M Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 Can you crave someone's attention even when you don't really care for her? I figured I had just embarrassed him at the party, but honestly that didn't really make sense, (althought there were other people standing there). Maybe you are right. He is the type who loves tons of friends and is aways looking for new ones.
Brittjean06 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Okay I'm not saying this guy is a sociopath but people who lack emotions can only feel power. Even if he doesn't love you he will still want control and he still wants to know you " adore " him. My ex would do horrible things to me yet always want me to be around me so I was like he has to love me I'll settle for that. Well no I now learned he didn't love me but love the power he had over me.
Author Agent M Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 Wow that's pretty scary isn't it? I did tell him I thought he was the most controlling person I ever met....but it was baffling because he even wanted to control me from afar. He would push me away, then pull me towards him, and back and forth and back and forth, and naturally I thought he just couldn't decide if he liked me. But now I'm thinking maybe it was a control issue. He thought he was losing it so he took it back.
Brittjean06 Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Yes its very scary and don't think it can't happen to you. My ex would ingore me for week than come back for 2 1/2 years. He controlled me foolishly. They don't love you, they love the power they have over you
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