Mr_henshaw Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Hi new to this forum, and am 18 so keep in mind that am young, inexperienced and my views will most likely be different. But here goes... When i was about 15 i went out with my first girlfriend, and we went out for about 9 month but towards the last 2 month she stated to get really depressive, i tried everything i was allways there for her, i took her out all the time, and tried my best to cheer her up. Her negativity was bringing me down also and i was pretty depressed my self cause i felt i was failing as her boyfriend...I was too scared to break up with her because of what she might turn to (having a record of Self harm). After a turn of events she split up from me on terms that it wasn't working. I( was upset but after a couple of weeks i knew it was for the best and was alot happier without this strain on my life. We kept friends but after about 2 month of being single she wanted to get back togeather and even surprising myself i said no with a number of reasons (going college, just want to be friends etc) But (and here is the twist) i really liked her best friend, and have done for the whole time we have know each other and i knew she liked me but i would never cheat, so i pushed the temting thoughts into the back of my mind....until i was single. I didnt want to rush into things but when my ex went out with one of my friends there was nothing to stop me, so me and her best mate got togeather (her name being Rosie). It was all well until my ex split up with her boyfriend after about a month and then she was on our back 24/7 and thats when i knew we could never be friends as i started to develop i hating for her as she would not let me and my girlfriend rosie be at peace. I know what happened may be cruel but you cant help who u fall in love with and i have been going out with rosie for 2 years now me being 18 now. Skipping back abit i was at my friends house party for new year and got preety wasted and as i was sitting thier on the toilet floor resting my head agaisnt the wall my ex comes in crying telling me how bad her life is etc (me not paying to much attention due to alcohol) but she kissed me and before i knew what i was doing i kissed her back out of reaction and as soon as i did it i broke down and realised what id done and felt pure guilt and begger her not to say anything, but the evil thing was she smiled got up and left me there upset, drunk and feeling the worst thing in the world... After that we fell out major i severed all ties with her hoping she wouldnt be around to bring it up as she never did say anything to rosie although it was always on my chest. skipping forward about 1 and a half happy years me and rosie broke up for about a month but went back out and it was so much better after the break but she told me she had kissed another lad ( a lad i knew) and i felt a bit betrayed (who am i to talk) so i told her what happened all that time ago to get it off my chest , she took it well-ish at the time and we went back out, but over the next few weeks she kept getting upset about it and made it a really big deal even though it was so long ago and at the time only going out for about 2 month and since then i kept faithfull for the rest of the two years. But now she brings it up like i had an affair saying my slate is tinted and other de-moralising things. I know i did wrong but is it such a big deal to brand me a cheater? Sorry for how long this is, but once ya get going there's no stopping lol. Just like your views on what ya think from my ex to my current situation? -Cheers for your time-
Saria Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I think she feels guilty about what she did and shes putting all that onto you so she feels better about herself. You've both done the same thing and she has no right to act the way she is acting, you deserve respect.
arc Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I agree that she's being more than a little unfair on you regarding what happened. And I'd also like to add that despite your age and self declared lack of experience, you've shown a lot of maturity throughout the history in your post and appear to be a generous and caring lad
john2776 Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 No you are not a bad person. That GF you had when you were 15 was/is and always will be trouble. I know exactly how you felt when you saw her smile after she kissed you when you were drunk - you recognised something truly nasty lurking deep inside her. Don't beat yourself up over that incident and don't let your current GF do it to you either. At your age, stupid mistakes like this happen. Live and learn - your doing fine.
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