MrPot Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 I thought maybe this (hopefully) short philosophical ramble might be helpful to some of you. I was dumped about two and half months ago. I'm pretty much over it and have decided not to be friends with her (mostly because she lied to me recently). Anyway, I realized that the ONLY reason I have to spend any attention on this woman at all is the totally irrational and stupid attachment that my ego has to her. She's mistreated me, misrespected me, lied to me, and strung me along. I'm sure many of you have been through something like this before. Even when I was dating her, I knew I could do better for myself. We had differences in interests, in intellect, in values... she also had MAJOR issues with insecurity, excessive pride, and many other bad things. If I detach my emotions from it all, I realize that the only reason I'm attached to his is that we had some "special" relationship (I was getting laid) and that everything else I can easily find in another friend. If you can grasp this and really FEEL it, I find it easier to get over a breakup.
Pink Amulet Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 In other words, you only miss her because she was letting you put your penis in her vagina?
Returning Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 I guess that's the top and bottom of it Pink Amulet. Do you think he may be trying to devalue what he felt for this person? I know men are all different in their attitude towards making love, jeesh I know some men who would would stick it in a knot hole in a wooden fence if it were available, they'll put it anywhere with no qualms. However, some men have much more respect for themselves and members of the opposite sex. Making love is a sharing experience and an expresion of what you feel for another person, actions speaking louder than words. I couldn't share myself with someone who I felt nothing for, there has to be something going on on a deeper level, emotionally and spiritually. Methinks Mr Pot may be forming a coping mechanism to handle a break up with a person who made is heart jump but his logic was against.
Pink Amulet Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Yes, there are a few guys on here who are constantly coming up with 'coping-mechanisms-to-help-a-brother-out' and often contain the words "nice guys come last" and "all women are bitches". It is nice to see that we women are causing them hell out there. Good on 'ya gals
mboston1 Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 If you're lucky in life you will meet your best friend and also be physically attracted to him or her. the first part is much more important, I'm in mylate 30s, younger people haven't learned this lesson yet, but they will. believe me they will
lindya Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 I thought maybe this (hopefully) short philosophical ramble might be helpful to some of you. I was dumped about two and half months ago. I'm pretty much over it and have decided not to be friends with her (mostly because she lied to me recently). Anyway, I realized that the ONLY reason I have to spend any attention on this woman at all is the totally irrational and stupid attachment that my ego has to her. She's mistreated me, misrespected me, lied to me, and strung me along. I'm sure many of you have been through something like this before. Even when I was dating her, I knew I could do better for myself. We had differences in interests, in intellect, in values... she also had MAJOR issues with insecurity, excessive pride, and many other bad things. If I detach my emotions from it all, I realize that the only reason I'm attached to his is that we had some "special" relationship (I was getting laid) and that everything else I can easily find in another friend. If you can grasp this and really FEEL it, I find it easier to get over a breakup. In other words, you only miss her because she was letting you put your penis in her vagina? I need to reference this thread next time a list of "annoying things women do" contains a comment like Using 50 words when 5 will do
Pink Amulet Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Haha, yes. I work in an industry where brevity is key and concise is crucial. I read page after page of press releases, document studies, research articles, and have to summarise my findings in one succinct article. I find scanning through LS crap a lot easier because of this
SUMMER 1969 Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 I agree with your post, as I just got dumped by my ex.. We dated a year and I thought I loved him.. Well, I do care a lot about him, but what it boils down to is he used me for sex... When I asked him how he felt for me, he told me he cares about me, but is not falling in love and would never fall in love with me.. So, yes, I totally agree with what you are saying.. I know my ego is bruised and my self esteem is damaged as of this moment.. But a lot of it is I am upset for the fact that he never gave a shi_ about me, only my pussy! But I as well as you know I can find someone better, someone to love me, and someone that will actully talk to me and share things with me.. Good luck to you, and I hope you keep the same attitude, as I hope I can as well.. It seems I am flip flopping with me emotions lately, but I think that is pretty normal, after all it has only been 3 weeks since the break up.. Summer
tinktronik Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 When I asked him how he felt for me, he told me he cares about me, but is not falling in love and would never fall in love with me.. But a lot of it is I am upset for the fact that he never gave a shi_ about me, only my pussy! Why do you choose to believe that he only cared about getting sex from you? Can you not believe that he loved you but did not feel in love with you .This is what he told you , is it perhaps that it makes it easier to believe that yopu were used for your vagina than that this particular guy did not fall head over heels for you.
SUMMER 1969 Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Auh no, he flat out used me.. It was always about sex with him.. Hell, he is telling me now that if I want to still play with him to call him.. So you tell me... He knows how I feel about him, but he did not care.. Trust me, he used me
RavenousDebris Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You guys are wrong, actually. The point of this post is that when you have been dumped, you have no rational, objective reason to have trouble getting over it. You know, rationally, that pining over it, arguing over it, et cetera, is all counterproductive. Yet, we do it anyway because our stupid ego takes over. Your ego wants what rejected you, not the real you. It helps me to think about it that way. It's not just a coping mechanism; it's a way of staring reality in the face instead of letting your emotional attachment steer you.
Diver012 Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You guys are wrong, actually. The point of this post is that when you have been dumped, you have no rational, objective reason to have trouble getting over it. You know, rationally, that pining over it, arguing over it, et cetera, is all counterproductive. Yet, we do it anyway because our stupid ego takes over. Your ego wants what rejected you, not the real you. It helps me to think about it that way. It's not just a coping mechanism; it's a way of staring reality in the face instead of letting your emotional attachment steer you. My Ego wants nothing to do with what rejected me. My ego wants to beat my chest and say screw her! I could have them lined up at teh door if I wanted it that way. My pride says that no matter what she thinks or says, I know I am the better one in the end of all of this. Reality says, Life goes on, if you just let it go
thekhris Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Anyway, I realized that the ONLY reason I have to spend any attention on this woman at all is the totally irrational and stupid attachment that my ego has to her. yup and im glad you realized it...there maybe a lot of reasons why you still attached to this woman after all the hell you suffer from this girl...but your bruised ego was the main part of it.. A lot of times in order to fix things up you must seek the truth and reality... to be able to have a solution is to admit the real cause of the problem
thekhris Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 Yes, there are a few guys on here who are constantly coming up with 'coping-mechanisms-to-help-a-brother-out' and often contain the words "nice guys come last" and "all women are bitches". It is nice to see that we women are causing them hell out there. Good on 'ya gals and were the sexist pigs???? you know what? if your my neighbore im sure will gonna click?lolz..and by the way i dont beleive that all girls are bitces but i do beleive that girls mind a far different from the blueprint of the design of males mind
ImmaBeAlright Posted August 18, 2006 Posted August 18, 2006 You guys are wrong, actually. The point of this post is that when you have been dumped, you have no rational, objective reason to have trouble getting over it. You know, rationally, that pining over it, arguing over it, et cetera, is all counterproductive. Yet, we do it anyway because our stupid ego takes over. Your ego wants what rejected you, not the real you. It helps me to think about it that way. It's not just a coping mechanism; it's a way of staring reality in the face instead of letting your emotional attachment steer you. You nailed it right there. I just used similar words on ego in some other post. The relationship being over was easier for me to deal with. But my ego is going: What???? u DUMPED me??? And psycho me is thinking: I'll show you. Ex desparately wants to be friends, and I'm cool with with that, after a while. But now i am thinking: We will be friends, and along the way, and when you start getting comfortable, I will reject your friendship and we will be square. Damn! i got enough friends and when i choose them, I prefer those who have never broken my heart . I know its childish and stupid, but maybe thats just me.
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