Guest Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Hi, I am curious have any of you been confronted by the "W"? I think she knows something is/has been going on and am scared to the point that I look in the rear view mirror expecting to see her car behind me someday! I am close to saying that I won't see him any more, even though I love being with him, I don't want to be the one he gets caught with.
Walking away Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Yes, she confronted me on the phone after she found a text message I had sent her husband. I denied everything. She bought it. I thought it was HIS place to tell her the truth about us, which was silly of me. He had lied to me and told me he wasn't married. Why I thought he would be honest is a mystery to me. Of course, he denied having any feelings for me whatsoever. I was the one who cared for him far more than he cared for me. I was the one pursuing him. But, only he and I know the real truth. I left and never looked back. He was a coward and a liar. And I am lucky to be free of him. Funny how things work out. She would be interested in knowing that he sent me an e-mail telling me how much he still adores me just a few weeks ago. Yet, I care more than he ever did. Right. He swore that he was different than other MM. Right. I walked away and will never go back again. Damn right. WA
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Yes, she confronted me on the phone after she found a text message I had sent her husband. I denied everything. She bought it. I thought it was HIS place to tell her the truth about us, which was silly of me. He had lied to me and told me he wasn't married. Why I thought he would be honest is a mystery to me. Of course, he denied having any feelings for me whatsoever. I was the one who cared for him far more than he cared for me. I was the one pursuing him. But, only he and I know the real truth. I left and never looked back. He was a coward and a liar. And I am lucky to be free of him. Funny how things work out. She would be interested in knowing that he sent me an e-mail telling me how much he still adores me just a few weeks ago. Yet, I care more than he ever did. Right. He swore that he was different than other MM. Right. I walked away and will never go back again. Damn right. WA Hi WA! Thanks for sharing again. Recently, I was confronted by my MM's W. She didn't really accuse me of anything - but she told my H of her suspicions. (As you will recall, we are all friends.) My husband confronted me and I admitted to the facts that he had (which was the ONE email I sent him asking him if he'd run away with me -- and she caught that). My H didn't even ask me if we've done anything sexual, so I didn't have to disclose any of that. My MM denied everything, of course. (His wife was really going after him.) I am beginning to believe that all MMs are cut from the same cloth. My MM will try to get away with as much as he can - and when he gets caught, he will dispose of me like sour milk. It was unnerving to be dealing with D-day, but it did show me what kind of man he is. He is a coward and a liar... like all of them, cake-men. We, ex-OWs have to take care of ourselves and never slip back into that territory again. Why should we let them have it all at our expense?
owcanbhppy Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 i've not been confronted, but i admit i fear it. after 2 yrs im beginning to think she doesnt care what hes doing, or who, as long as it isnt her.
Adunaphel Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 While I had a very short affair with my MM, it never happened but I admit I was hoping she would. (I am actually still hoping she will find an old email, anything, even if it is very unlikely) It happened to a friend of mine, though. The W, who had read a text message, called my friend on the phone, basically asking who she was. Another person I know has confronted some of her H's mistresses. I wonder how often it happens.
lovernotafighter Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 my MM left his MSN on when I tried to contact him and W was on the comp..according to him she spent days looking for me after that and banished him off the computer..the only thing I said at the time "was hello are you there?" and she seen my picture. she also sat him down over and over again to ask him what he could have to possibly to talk about with another woman besides her? at the time in all honesty there wasn't anything going on except gossiping about work..we hadn't started our A...this incident I believe kinda pushed him at me. though this is as close as I got to being confronted.
Walking away Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Hi WA! Thanks for sharing again. Recently, I was confronted by my MM's W. She didn't really accuse me of anything - but she told my H of her suspicions. (As you will recall, we are all friends.) My husband confronted me and I admitted to the facts that he had (which was the ONE email I sent him asking him if he'd run away with me -- and she caught that). My H didn't even ask me if we've done anything sexual, so I didn't have to disclose any of that. My MM denied everything, of course. (His wife was really going after him.) I am beginning to believe that all MMs are cut from the same cloth. My MM will try to get away with as much as he can - and when he gets caught, he will dispose of me like sour milk. It was unnerving to be dealing with D-day, but it did show me what kind of man he is. He is a coward and a liar... like all of them, cake-men. We, ex-OWs have to take care of ourselves and never slip back into that territory again. Why should we let them have it all at our expense? My sentiments exactly. When D-day comes, it is amazing how these MM can switch from loving, adoring men to scared little boys. I believe character and integrity are revealed in times of stress. Honesty goes a long way. I am appalled at my xMM's cowardess and dishonesty. He truly became a different man. The strong, self assured man dissolved in front of me in the wake of her discovery of us. His self preservation instinct ran deep. And I was astounded at how weak he was at that time. Now, of course, his contact with me remained, and his feelings for me were always revealed to me through his limited contact with me. But, that's the thing. They were words. Empty, useless words. And with every contact he initiated with me, he was assuring HER that we were no longer speaking. Lies, lies, lies. Cakeman, cakeman, cakeman. And I come from a place where I understand the shoes he walks in. But, I behaved far differently than him. I chose honesty and integrity when exposed. And I have no regrets. No secrets that I fear will be revealed, no skeletons. My conscience was clear then and it is clear now. Nothing like taking the rose colored glasses off for good and seeing him for what he really is. A lying, cheating coward who didn't have the guts or integrity to come clean with his wife and let the cards fall where they may. He was like the thief that wasn't a bit sorry that he stole, but VERY, VERY sorry that he got caught. I have said it a hundred times and I will say it again: To all of us xOW who are now free of the pain and discomfort of the affair:To those of us xOW who became a casuality in their game when we were discovered: To those of us xOW who disengaged ourselves from the affair with dignity and grace to be contacted and pursued in spite of our decision to leave: ThEIR loss. We lost nothing by leaving them. We gained self respect and our integrity remained. They cannot say the same. Cowards. They are simply cowards.
stillhere Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I've never been confronted by MM's W, but i was confronted by another man's W who i was not having an A with. He was my boss, and he learned how to text message, i taught him. If i knew then what i know now, that would have never happened. Anyways, he would constantly text me, and i sometimes would text back. It was always work related, but i had a sense he wanted more from me. I couldn't completely blow him off, he was my boss. One day, my H called and said that some girl stopped by looking for me. He didn't know her. When i got home, she pulled in behind me. I had no clue as to why she was there, and she had tried to befriend me earlier, so i thought she wanted to see what was going on, in general. All of a sudden, i seen tears in her eyes, and i knew she was upset about something, so i was slightly confused. Then she said that she got the phone bill and my number was on it. She started accusing me of sleeping with her H, saying he admitted everything. There was nothing to admit, and she knew that, but she didn't get what she wanted from him and thought i would come clean. If something really would have happened, i probably would have spilled my guts. The part that bothered me, was she said that she was going to go kill herself. She's crazy as it is, but i could have never lived with myself, knowing that someone killed themselves over absolutely nothing. And she had 2 boys at home! I called him and told him to straighten her out and stay the hell away from me. And to this day (he is no longer with our company) he still tries to contact me. My MM knew of all this the whole time, called when the psycho W was there screaming at me. He wanted to come over and straighten her out, but obviously, he couldn't. So that's my lovely experience, i know with the MM, if his W does find out, it will be a lot worse than this. She won't act like psycho did, she's much more sneaky.
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