KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Ok, I'm not really celebrating at all. But it's been 6 months tomorrow since my break up. At this point, I don't really know what to say about it. Sometimes, I'm like whatever. Other times I completely can't believe what's happened. But lets see now. Since my breakup I've lost weight, taken writing classes, joined a writing group, started a novel, traveled a bit (even flying in an airplane, a fear my ex ridiculed me about, including when we broke up), and begun making new friends. My career is stable, supports me very well, and I've enjoyed several new professional experiences, such as directing my first photo shoot alone and designing my first product packaging. My friends have been more supportive of me emotionally than I've ever known friends to be. Conversely, my ex has ditched his old friends coldly for no reason other than our breakup, and has become an emotional tampon for a codependent attention whore who drags everyone she can into her own relationship problems (which have been going on since the moment she walked on the scene almost 2 years ago). He also hasn't been paid at work in about 6 months and apparently can't find a new job. But continues to work his unappreciated @$$ off. Ok, well, I'm still emotional. But pretty fed up at this point so it has been getting better over the past few weeks. A big step for me has been starting therapy a few months ago, and I will soon be getting consult on depression/anxiety meds on the advice of my therapist (conditions that were on the scene even when I was happiest w/ my ex). Admittedly, I might have been in denial about my mental health for oh... the past 12 years or so. :laugh: A lot of people over my life have suggested something might be off... but I blew it off. Just taking the step to say "Ok, I'll give it a try" has been a pretty huge thing for me. Anways, I'll be "celebrating" this weekend by camping with friends, getting drunk:sick:, and hopefully not falling into the fire or sustaining any smores related injuries. Thanks to all the supportive LSers who've listened to my many many rants over the past 6 months. Hopefully, in another 6 I will be here saying how healed I am, and BritneyJean and I can go on a double date with our new beaus. Also, a reminder of the simplest thing we should be telling ourselves when we miss them: Where are the they? Are they here with us now? Because if they aren't, regardless of anything else, that's all that really counts. Cheers!
TheSilentType Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Good for you. I hope you are able to move on. I just don't understand why people become so fixated on their X's. I mean if I broke up with someone or they broke up with me, I wouldn't bother with them anymore. I mean, they are only one person out of MILLIONS! It's just so pathetic to let your heart get down over ONE PERSON! Just stop thinking about your X or even caring, and find a new person to be part of your life.
Author KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Author Posted August 11, 2006 Good for you. I hope you are able to move on. I just don't understand why people become so fixated on their X's. I mean if I broke up with someone or they broke up with me, I wouldn't bother with them anymore. I mean, they are only one person out of MILLIONS! It's just so pathetic to let your heart get down over ONE PERSON! Just stop thinking about your X or even caring, and find a new person to be part of your life. Oh sweetie- if you ever really and truly get your heart broken you'll understand why.
Ariadne Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Thanks to all the supportive LSers Hey, Congratulations! You made it. Good job with keeping your businesses together, and you even went to therapy. I haven't even started yet... I want to be just like you! Ariadne
Apathetic Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Good for you. I hope you are able to move on. I just don't understand why people become so fixated on their X's. I mean if I broke up with someone or they broke up with me, I wouldn't bother with them anymore. I mean, they are only one person out of MILLIONS! It's just so pathetic to let your heart get down over ONE PERSON! Just stop thinking about your X or even caring, and find a new person to be part of your life. It is so NOT pathetic for someone to be heart broken hearterd over a breakup,esp' if they truly loved the person and or have invested alot of time.People who say "Oh just stop thinking and caring about your ex" really piss me off b/c they obviously do NOT know just how difficult and almost impossible that is. If you have ever experienced true heart break then you would know that its easier said than done & you shouldnt make such dumb comments
richardcruz Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 It is so NOT pathetic for someone to be heart broken hearterd over a breakup,esp' if they truly loved the person and or have invested alot of time.People who say "Oh just stop thinking and caring about your ex" really piss me off b/c they obviously do NOT know just how difficult and almost impossible that is. If you have ever experienced true heart break then you would know that its easier said than done & you shouldnt make such dumb comments Agreed. I'm not trying to sound like I'm on a macho trip but normally I don't show much of my emotions of sadness and definetly had never cried as a adult...until my ex dumped me. I had never felt pain like that ever. Well the floodgates opened and I would cry for her to comeback and would also cry myself to sleep. Its true, you won't understand until you've truly loved someone and had your heartbroken. The pain is untolerable!
Apathetic Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Agreed. I'm not trying to sound like I'm on a macho trip but normally I don't show much of my emotions of sadness and definetly had never cried as a adult...until my ex dumped me. I had never felt pain like that ever. Well the floodgates opened and I would cry for her to comeback and would also cry myself to sleep. Its true, you won't understand until you've truly loved someone and had your heartbroken. The pain is untolerable! Intolerable isnt the word..But for someone to make such a dumb comment shows thier ignorance.If it were that simple as to just "forget them & move on" then there would be no messageboards like this or heartbreak.We would be living in a perfect world..
AriaIncognito Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Personally I'd love to have that superpower to just love someone then when they leave me, forget they existed and not give a sh*t. Where can I sign up for that superpower? lol Last I checked, human emotions, when true, weren't able to be turned off like a faucet. Jennifer
magichands Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Personally I'd love to have that superpower to just love someone then when they leave me, forget they existed and not give a sh*t. Where can I sign up for that superpower? lol Sounds like they should make a movie out of that idea. Hang on - maybe they did? Hmmm... I'm not sure that the movie had a happy ending. Just make sure that you use your powers for good, and not evil. (What happens if you want to leave them?!)
the_alchemyst Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I mean, they are only one person out of MILLIONS! And so, what is your point? I remember loving only one guy, not a million others. And also, usually, you don't get to "chose" who you like; it just happens. So, are you saying that it is pathetic to be sad over the loss of the one you loved? In turn, wouldn't that be like saying you are pathetic for being sad? Well, with the former and the latter, would that, then, be equivalent to saying: You are pathetic for having feelings? So, I guess, that if this is true, then you are pathetic, as well, right? Unless you have no feelings, which would mean you are not human. Wow. So, what are you? Okay. Anyway, I hope you are feeling okay, Kitten. This celebration party must have been a rather bittersweet one. So, how was the camping?
TheSilentType Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 The problem with you people is that you allow your emotion to overtake how you resolve a situation. Crying and wondering about someone, as if they are the only freakin person on this planet than can give you the type of love you want, is ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC... So yes Apathetic, you are PATHETIC for not learning how to move on. There is a reason those people left you. THEY DID NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE. If you had any self respect, you wouldn't shed tears over that for a long time. Eventually you move on and find someone else. How do you know I haven't dealt with heartbreak? I was once infatuated with this girl for many months. At the time, she was a friend of mine and I would daydream so much about us being together. I felt so strongly about her that I would think about her when I was studying, eating, everything. But then one day I left a note where I spilled my feelings out. She never really responded back or acknowledged it, and I realized her feelings were not the same. I was devastated. For about a week, I thought hard about what I was going to do next. At point, I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to her about how she felt about me. But I'm so glad I didn't do it because I know I would have sounded so stupid and desperate. Instead, after a week of feeling so low and down, I decided I would just cut off all contact with her from that moment on. To this day, I have not once spoken to her or communicated with her in any way. Not even those moments when she would sit close by me and hope that we could talk again. It's been nearly a one and a half years. Yes, I quietly grieved on my own. But very soon, I stopped caring about her or wondering about her or daydreaming about her. I occasionally still sometimes think about her, especially when I see her around school, but it doesn't mean anything to me like it use to. Now, I've developed a greater love for myself and I truly believe there are other people out there - many - who could give me the type of relationship that I want. It's just a matter of looking and putting yourself out there. So let me state this again, yes YOU ALL ARE PATHETIC...one more time...PATHETIC. You've blown up one person's importance way more than it needed to be. Frankly, you are just too cowardly to take the harder route and find someone new and possibly better. You just want to sit in your safety zone of familiarity and grieve over someone who has ditched you and is probably looking to replace you, if they already haven't, with someone better. So anyways, please revel in the personal torment that you choose to not release yourself from. You people with this sense of soulmates and other nonsense like that are just jokes.
sickkitty Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 OMG so why r u on here then? can u hear ur self right now its sad!!! People have the right to grieve and express them selves on here how dare u call every one pathetic for being heart broken This is called BEING HUMAN, and every one goes through it, except for u apparantly! Its not something that goes away overnight or even a month down the line! I really dont think u no what LOVE really is and i feel soory for u, i really do! People on here r going through alot of pain right now and the last thing we need is u being all high and bloody mighty.............. grow the hell up!
Winfield Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 The problem with you people is that you allow your emotion to overtake how you resolve a situation. Crying and wondering about someone, as if they are the only freakin person on this planet than can give you the type of love you want, is ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC... Harsh as it may seem to most on here, but I do agree with him. Perhaps not the pathetic aspect (everyone deals with things in a different way), but that a large percentage of folks here do have a problem letting go of the past. What good does posting "6 months on" do? Why count the days / months / years after a break-up (heck, I thought that anniversaries were supposed to be happier occasions)? OK, an ex was significant to you at one stage in your life, but as your ex, they're not any more... I'm not directing this at the OP, this is more of a generalisation, but writing incessantly about an ex for months and months isn't helping the healing process - it's doing the opposite. You're not moving on because you're not allowing yourself to. Breaking up with a girfriend / boyfriend does feel bad...but get it into perspective - it's not a bereavement! Remember, it's not the end of the world, or the "be all and end all"... Retrospect's a great thing - but in the here and now, it's of no use. Let go of the past, deal with the present and look to the future!
Author KittenMoon Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 Hey! I turn my back on you kids for two seconds and another pointless debate starts raging! Everyone go to their rooms!!!! And so, what is your point? I remember loving only one guy, not a million others. Excellent thought, A. The reality of one, unfortunately, can easily trump the possibility of many. For most of us, having faith for finding another can only do so much until we actually do meet someone else. The proof is in the pudding, as they say. The problem with you people is that you allow your emotion to overtake how you resolve a situation. Crying and wondering about someone, as if they are the only freakin person on this planet than can give you the type of love you want, is ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC... So yes Apathetic, you are PATHETIC for not learning how to move on. ........ So let me state this again, yes YOU ALL ARE PATHETIC...one more time...PATHETIC. You've blown up one person's importance way more than it needed to be. Frankly, you are just too cowardly to take the harder route and find someone new and possibly better. You just want to sit in your safety zone of familiarity and grieve over someone who has ditched you and is probably looking to replace you, if they already haven't, with someone better. So anyways, please revel in the personal torment that you choose to not release yourself from. TheSilentType- I'm wagering a guess that your chosen career field isn't in therapy. I'd also ask you not to attack people personally and call them pathetic, especially on my threads. There are other ways to convey what you've conveyed without making personal character attacks. What good does posting "6 months on" do? Why count the days / months / years after a break-up (heck, I thought that anniversaries were supposed to be happier occasions)? OK, an ex was significant to you at one stage in your life, but as your ex, they're not any more... ........... Breaking up with a girfriend / boyfriend does feel bad...but get it into perspective - it's not a bereavement! Actually, a break-up of a significant relationship gets about as close to bereavement as you can w/o someone actually dying. And recovery is a process. And that process takes some people a few days, a few months, or even a few years. The loss of a lover, a friend, and a potential future is no small thing, not if you really cared. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Those who don't feel pain and loss deeply will never feel love as deeply as those who do. Anyway, I hope you are feeling okay, Kitten. This celebration party must have been a rather bittersweet one. So, how was the camping? I was being pretty sarcastic about celebrating acutally. Camping was actually a going away party for a friend. It was a lot of fun too. Despite the fact I really longed to be sitting in front of that fire with a lover's arms around me (and I'm marking it as an improvement that I thought about a lover and not specifically him), not much else can beat the combination of good friends, good wine, a beautiful night, and smores over a campfire. Also, I got to watch meteors! It was cool.
Teacher's Pet Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Personally I'd love to have that superpower to just love someone then when they leave me, forget they existed and not give a sh*t. Where can I sign up for that superpower? lol Last I checked, human emotions, when true, weren't able to be turned off like a faucet. Jennifer Jennifer, maybe I can introduce you to my ex? If what you describe is a "super power", she's the head of The Justice League. -tp
AtLongLast Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Kitten, I have always followed your posts very closely, but not done much by way of responding. I am so proud of you!! You have come so far and done so much to fill your time. I am still (three months later) wallowing in self pity. I take your thread as a personal victory for us girls. I think a writing class is just what the doctor ordered. For me too! Good luck.
Author KittenMoon Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 Of course, this all comes with the paranoia that something bad is going to happen to set me back....
LaraV Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Congrats, KM! I, too, have followed your story closely, and am so glad you feel so much better now! May the good feeling (or at least, lack of really bad ones) keep coming your way.
Apathetic Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 The problem with you people is that you allow your emotion to overtake how you resolve a situation. Crying and wondering about someone, as if they are the only freakin person on this planet than can give you the type of love you want, is ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC... So yes Apathetic, you are PATHETIC for not learning how to move on. There is a reason those people left you. THEY DID NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE. If you had any self respect, you wouldn't shed tears over that for a long time. Eventually you move on and find someone else. How do you know I haven't dealt with heartbreak? I was once infatuated with this girl for many months. At the time, she was a friend of mine and I would daydream so much about us being together. I felt so strongly about her that I would think about her when I was studying, eating, everything. But then one day I left a note where I spilled my feelings out. She never really responded back or acknowledged it, and I realized her feelings were not the same. I was devastated. For about a week, I thought hard about what I was going to do next. At point, I wanted to pick up the phone and talk to her about how she felt about me. But I'm so glad I didn't do it because I know I would have sounded so stupid and desperate. Instead, after a week of feeling so low and down, I decided I would just cut off all contact with her from that moment on. To this day, I have not once spoken to her or communicated with her in any way. Not even those moments when she would sit close by me and hope that we could talk again. It's been nearly a one and a half years. Yes, I quietly grieved on my own. But very soon, I stopped caring about her or wondering about her or daydreaming about her. I occasionally still sometimes think about her, especially when I see her around school, but it doesn't mean anything to me like it use to. Now, I've developed a greater love for myself and I truly believe there are other people out there - many - who could give me the type of relationship that I want. It's just a matter of looking and putting yourself out there. So let me state this again, yes YOU ALL ARE PATHETIC...one more time...PATHETIC. You've blown up one person's importance way more than it needed to be. Frankly, you are just too cowardly to take the harder route and find someone new and possibly better. You just want to sit in your safety zone of familiarity and grieve over someone who has ditched you and is probably looking to replace you, if they already haven't, with someone better. So anyways, please revel in the personal torment that you choose to not release yourself from. You people with this sense of soulmates and other nonsense like that are just jokes. Are you f-ing KIDDING ME? Who the hell are you to say someone is pathetic b/c theyre having a hard time letting go of the past?! Get off your high horse you piece of crap & stop posting on this forum w/ all these "pathetic" people
TheSilentType Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Are you f-ing KIDDING ME? Who the hell are you to say someone is pathetic b/c theyre having a hard time letting go of the past?! Get off your high horse you piece of crap & stop posting on this forum w/ all these "pathetic" people lol....very mature! Fine, so you people want to wallow in your own self pity ....go right ahead. It's your life. Be neurotic and wonder about your EX all the time. It's your own torture. Apparently you just want to be the star of your own soap opera. The rest of the well-adjusted people will grieve and move on instead of obsessing over what was
Author KittenMoon Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 The rest of the well-adjusted people will grieve and move on instead of obsessing over what was Well adjusted people don't insult others' pain. That being said, perhaps this arguement could be taken to it's own thread. Or better yet, simply ended.
Apathetic Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 lol....very mature! Fine, so you people want to wallow in your own self pity ....go right ahead. It's your life. Be neurotic and wonder about your EX all the time. It's your own torture. Apparently you just want to be the star of your own soap opera. The rest of the well-adjusted people will grieve and move on instead of obsessing over what was LOL Funny you say im being immature when youre the one on here calling ppl pathetic b/c they are having a hard time moving on,honestly now..Who the hell are YOU to make such a judgement? Who allowed you to sit in judgment of other ppl & thier unfortunate situations? Also,who said I was wallowing in anything? All I said was you shouldnt make such a stupid comment about a situation you clearly know NOTHING about Again-Get off your high horse & go 'preach' elsewhere b/c your worthless words arent doing any good here.
Ariadne Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Get off your high horse you piece of crap :lmao: So yes Apathetic, you are PATHETIC :lmao: Where can I sign up for that superpower? lol Jennifer, maybe I can introduce you to my ex? :lmao: (You guys are cracking me up today) Ariadne
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