Ruff Ryder Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Hi all, hope we doing better today... Well Im posting today because the cold hard truth has hit like a ton of bricks over the last week. I have stuck to no contact (have to be honest I wanted her to call so bad) but she hasnt called. I think I needed to know that it was really really over. I think I know that now. I do still hold on to the hope that she will call and want to say hi or just check how I am doing. I was doing really really well seeing other people going out every second night just being me but for the last week I have gone backwards badly I miss her all the little things all the small jokes remarks and things we did. I need to step up to the plate I did do things wrong and that may be part of the reason we not together. Happiness seems just out of my grasp at the moment. Im not giving up all hope I think that she may call me and may wanna see me. For now she hasnt. Im at the cross road and have no clue where to go. Im up all night thinking what the next step is. Its unhealthy to do this I know but im doing it. I need advise here is this just a relaps a phase? Is it me falling apart or possibly still trying to pick up the pices? I miss her, i dont know if I still love her but I miss her madly. So where is it from here. Do I pack up and run or stay and fight? Do i give up and throw some of the best parts of my life away? I live in S.A been offered a job in the U.K. Do I just leave past emotions behind and leave for possibly a better life? possibly a worse one? The cross road and I dont know where to go. The truth of the matter is she is no longer part of my life or me part of hers the truth is Im lost drowning and cant find the light. Thanks all
morphius Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 If you think she is worth fighting for then stay, if not, take the job!
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 11, 2006 Author Posted August 11, 2006 Is it worth fighting for? Thats tought to do where do you start? Where do you give up. How long do you try? I wanna fight for her and I think that I could win but the odds say I cant and wont win. Do I put myself at the risk again to fight and possibly be hurt? Sorry about the post I'm in a place where I dont know what to do.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 If you think she is worth fighting for then stay, if not, take the job!It does'nt sound like there's anything left to fight for. Fighting is one thing, dreaming another, stalking yet another. Move on and enjoy your youth
Sand&Water Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Ruff Ryder, Place yourself on the other side -as an outsider, looking in. From your perspective (as a third party): what would you advise Ruff Ryder to do? It is time to move on. Bigger and better things will come along into your life. If you ache so much, then moving to the UK might get your mind (and heart) off her.
InaPanic Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I feel for you RuffRyder as I am also going through the pain of trying to tell myself it's over, let the dead dog lie. And it's hard because you fill yourself with all these 'what if's' & 'maybes'. And if we don't stop ourselves then we will never move on. I hope you & I both find the strength we need to do what we know we need to do.
the_alchemyst Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Please take the job. And take me with you.
morphius Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Please take the job. And take me with you. You can all come and stay with me! Woohoo!
KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I'm in too! You UK boys have the yummiest accents. :love:
Green Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 You like the English accent what! What! Cheerio good chum fight for the girl or we could have a bloody mess on our hands, now when is it time for our tea and crackers?
Brittjean06 Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Where did you go wrong in the relationship? If you know you were the problem and she was a good girlfriend than yes she is worth fighting for.. Yeah it could be a relapse you'll have alot of those in the process of healing.
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 12, 2006 Author Posted August 12, 2006 Well we got of to a great start in the relationship. 6 months in she cheatered on me and I was able to look past it. But up untill that point I was strong and independent. Then for some reason I became very weak almost like I was looking for her approval in everything. It felt like we had fallen apart. So a year in I let go and then she held on and we worked everything out. We never had much cash but 2 years in I got my degree and found a good job. It was happy days for a while then I took a new job far more money but harsh hours and I was spending no time at home or with her. So she found someone else. I cant blame her for that it was mainly my fault. I now have the a fantastic job work for 15 days a month (still in the same company) make good money and have loads of free time for sport and all that. i just dont have someone speciall to share it with. Well thats the readers digest version. Thanks all you have all been a great and wonderfull support and help. Love ya Ruff
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 12, 2006 Author Posted August 12, 2006 I have made up my mind, its a stay and fight... Now the trick comes in, how do I do this? Where do I start. Romance and all that? Come on ladies help a fella out here what do I do? And yes the answer to the question is she is worth it and so much more.
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 I broke contact today, was a nice pleasent chat we had over the web, went well I think. Didnt make any plans to see her again just a casual chat and it was good. I have a good feeling about this.
Touche Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Sorry but I have a bad feeling about this. She first cheats on you and then you make excuses and say it's your fault she left. You were WORKING! She should have stood by you. Why do you want someone back who cheated on you? And after only six months (not that it's EVER acceptable). But that's still supposed to be the big honeymoon phase. Stay and fight but I can almost GUARANTEE she will end up breaking your heart again. I'd move on and save yourself more heartbreak. She doesn't love you. Can you imagine yourself ever cheating on her? There's your answer.
ImmaBeAlright Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I have made up my mind, its a stay and fight... Now the trick comes in, how do I do this? Where do I start. Romance and all that? Come on ladies help a fella out here what do I do? And yes the answer to the question is she is worth it and so much more. Dude, take the job, your relationship is over. Go to the UK, u'll be the foreign guy and your getting laid stakes will be upped to the max.... lol
burning 4 revenge Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 I have made up my mind, its a stay and fight... Now the trick comes in, how do I do this? Where do I start? Did'nt you title this thread "facing the truth"?
Lisa079 Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 I am sorry for Ruff Ryder, but I think Touche's saying would be right. It can not be the excuse of her cheating on you because she was lonly as you had been busy at work and did not have much time for her.
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 Sure you guys are correct, but shouldnt forgivness and second chances come into play. What about regret? The big bad WHAT IF? what if we are ment to be what if it was all trials that we went through what if what if. All I know is I cant live in the what if so give it a go and try, if it doesnt work well then thats different but if it does it will be all worth everything that happened. People make mistakes and learn and grow from them. Second chanses. You all make good valid points and I may be wrong but Ill never know if I never try.
sickkitty Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 where abouts in SA r u RR? My ex moved 2 SA (Durbin) for 2 years U should come to the UK there r so many oppertunities for u here ) I live in the uk and im telling u, u will have so much fun here and there are so many South Africans here seriously ul love it and u wont regret it. i no it may seen hard for u 2 leave and u havent got over ur ex but ul be bettering ur self by taking this job here x
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 Im in Johannessburg the crim capital of pretty much the world. Ive lived in england on ond off for three years. I know its a great place. Travelled all over. Even lived in Scotland for a while. It will be hard however things are getting better by the conversations myself and the ex are having. May be going to het place tonight for tea. Yea durban is very nice my family stay there. Where in durbs is your ex?
InaPanic Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Best of luck Ruff Ryder. I too am filled with 'what if's' that are preventing me from moving on in my life. I certainly hope your situation turns out for the best. If you were already heartbroken I guess all you stand to lose is to be that again. Hopefully that won't happen.
Guest Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Yea durban is very nice my family stay there. Where in durbs is your ex? He was on Florida Road, He used to work at Jack Rabbits No it? He moved back last year thats how i met him iv seen pictures it looks fantastic ) Amanda
9Lives Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 Hi all, hope we doing better today... Well Im posting today because the cold hard truth has hit like a ton of bricks over the last week. I have stuck to no contact (have to be honest I wanted her to call so bad) but she hasnt called. I think I needed to know that it was really really over. I think I know that now. I do still hold on to the hope that she will call and want to say hi or just check how I am doing. I was doing really really well seeing other people going out every second night just being me but for the last week I have gone backwards badly I miss her all the little things all the small jokes remarks and things we did. I need to step up to the plate I did do things wrong and that may be part of the reason we not together. Happiness seems just out of my grasp at the moment. Im not giving up all hope I think that she may call me and may wanna see me. For now she hasnt. Im at the cross road and have no clue where to go. Im up all night thinking what the next step is. Its unhealthy to do this I know but im doing it. I need advise here is this just a relaps a phase? Is it me falling apart or possibly still trying to pick up the pices? I miss her, i dont know if I still love her but I miss her madly. So where is it from here. Do I pack up and run or stay and fight? Do i give up and throw some of the best parts of my life away? I live in S.A been offered a job in the U.K. Do I just leave past emotions behind and leave for possibly a better life? possibly a worse one? The cross road and I dont know where to go. The truth of the matter is she is no longer part of my life or me part of hers the truth is Im lost drowning and cant find the light. Thanks all Why did you guys break up? Is there something that need to change in order for her to come back? If you can fix the problem, I would not give up my woman....I would fix the problem
Author Ruff Ryder Posted August 15, 2006 Author Posted August 15, 2006 Well the resons are clear I didnt have the time and she couldnt wait on for it anymore. May be it was a co-dependence thing. I am man enought to stand up and take responsibility and say I did wrong too I did hurtfull things and at some point I carried on doing them and she didnt really matter to me that much for a time. But now I know where I went wrong I've corrected it in me and all that. So I'm going to give it a blast. If it doesnt work my job in Englad is valid for 6 month still so I have time to try and if it doesnt go my way for some reason Ill pack up and go. But I wont do the what if. As long as I try I will always know. Durban is awsome by the way but cape town is the best spot in the country... Hope all of you are well. Im reading books on relationships on attraction on the human mind trying to get as big an understanding at what Im faced with and Im pretty sure I can win this fight in time. You all have been super stars and great.
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