Guest Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I have a question for all of you. I was in a relationship which she ended 7 months ago. She said I was emotionally unavailable and I think to some extent she was right. I have been seeing a therapist and trying to understand my self better and am trying to improve my relationships. When we broke up we decided to try the friends with benefits thing because we both agreed that the sex was incredible and we didn't want to lose that part of the relationship. Over the last 7 months it has been like riding an emotional rollercoaster, at times it seemed she was treating me as her boyfriend and and she would freak out on me over trivial things. We would always work out our problems and end up in bed again and again. It has been over a month since we last saw each other but we have talked on the phone a fair bit, we were going to get together last Saturday but she had a really ****ty day and when i contacted her she freaked out on me and told me that she never wanted to see me again. I don't know what happened to her on Saturday but she was quite upset. We were together for about 9 months before the break-up, she dumped me. I still care about her very much and I don't want us to be enemies. My question is what should i do ? Should I try to contact her or should I wait to see if she calls me. We haven't spoken or seen each other for a week now. What do you guys think? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
P1xie Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 When we broke up we decided to try the friends with benefits thing because we both agreed that the sex was incredible and we didn't want to lose that part of the relationship. Looks like the friendship is over. Friends with benefits is just sex maybe she's ready to move on from that. That doesn't necessary mean with you. She can't fully move on while having sex with you. I would let her call you, and wouldn't be sitting by the phone waiting for it to happen.
tikigods Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 People generally go fwb while they are waiting for the next big thing to come along. I have a feeling that your ex has moved on from you, and its time that you do the same
In Sync Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 My question is what should i do ? Should I try to contact her or should I wait to see if she calls me. We haven't spoken or seen each other for a week now. What do you guys think? Any help would be greatly appreciated. At the end of the day there's only so long that you can dance with the FWB illusion before you stop. At some point it's an ugly lie. Sex and emotions do get entangled. You agreed to this arrangement because your heart was still involved. If someone is not emotionally with the other person involved they are objectifying the whole act. Scratching an itch so to speak...even that wears thin if when there is no mental connection. Believe it or not she may not have felt good about what she was doing with you. I'm having sex with somebody I don't even want to be with in the future, what is that? By maintaing the FWB ask yourself are you making things worse for yourself or better? If your life is dictated by your sexual needs well there's your answer, but if you truly love her and she wants to move on...there's your answer too.
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