sick of it Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I met up with the x. We had breakfast together yesterday. Was I nervous? Absolutley. But then I saw her pull up, and she got out of her car.....and guess what? Nothing. No feelings! No wanting to cry. No overhwelming emotion, no anger...NOTHING! It was incredible. For feeling nothing I felt so powerful. I felt so in control of myself when it came to her, something I hadnt felt ever. We had breakfast for about an hour and then she steered the convo towards the relationship. The conversation was pleasant. we were laughing and enjoying our company. no fighting, which hadnt happened since the break. She started to steer the convo towards the relationship and i said we shouldnt because we are doing so well. but it happened and we went outside the restaurant and talked for a half hour. i told her things and she was quiet and listened. She couldnt believe what i had done with myself. How different I was. She said that all the things I had changed about myself were things she wanted while we were together . I sid I know, it was the whole bargaining stage thing while grieving. I said, i grew up a lot and its too bad she moved on. and she agreed. I felt great when she said that, when she said that we would be perfect. I finally had the power. I had the control. I had something she wanted for once. The entire thing was great. I told her i still dont want to see her and him together yet and that i will probably always hold resentment at how they got to gether and how quickly it was. i said she needs to accept it and get over it. but i have no problem hanging out now. I faced her and i was more powerful than i ever thought. i explained why i never called back. and that i need to be "her-free" for a while. I just wanted to let everyone know that i was in a dark place. extremely dark. time heals. be patient. I CAN have my best friend back. But its my choice.
KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 It's nice to see someone coming out of the tunnel, finally. (And itsn't it lovely that she's seen how much you've improved yourself- for you, not for her! That whole "living well is the bst revenge" thang.)
Author sick of it Posted August 11, 2006 Author Posted August 11, 2006 and that was my plan. I always wanted to show up again better. in this case...70 lbs lighter, employed, with a job that i love, educated, happy... meanwhile shes gained a lot of weight, unemployed, with a smoking bartender....but if shes happy, then im happy for her....truly.
KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 meanwhile shes gained a lot of weight, unemployed, with a smoking bartender....but if shes happy, then im happy for her....truly. Sounds like she's doing well.
destination_unknown Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Sick of It , it sounds like you really, genuinely have taken & learned much from your breakup. You sound like you understand much more about yourself than before and more at peace with things, even though it has been a struggle. However, I don't think this story is quite over yet. I just have a feeling that your ex will begin to second guess herself someday. Well done for you for rising from the ashes, maybe you should change your uname to pheonix!!
KittenMoon Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 I just have a feeling that your ex will begin to second guess herself someday. But that doesn't mean you have to, SOI....
Brittjean06 Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Congrats for you! wow I bet you felt sooo great when she had noticed the changes in you living well is the best revenge- yep it sure is! I wish people only new that at the time of a break up
Ariadne Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Hey, No overhwelming emotion, no anger...NOTHING! It was incredible. For feeling nothing I felt so powerful. I felt so in control of myself when it came to her, something I hadnt felt ever. I'm so glad you did it. It must have felt great, congratulations! Ariadne
Author sick of it Posted August 12, 2006 Author Posted August 12, 2006 Thank you everyone. It was a long road. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of steps backwards to go forwards. Lots of patience. Dont rush anything, take your time. You will get there. Put yourself first. concentrate on you. Dont worry about what they think. Do it for you. Thats when it gets better. Listen to the people here. I couldnt have done it without them.
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