lizad Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I want to begin with saying that I found this website while surfing and it has def. been some interesting reading and I think what I got most out of it is that the MM does not leave. To read all kinds of posts where the MM continues to use the same lines and behave the same way is truly amazing....... I just ended a two and a half year affair......... I too am married. I met this man on an Island in the carribbean who took my e-mail and that's where it all began. It started as this little flirtatious kind of e-mail thing......and then it happened. I ended up meeting him. He lives about 2 hours away in the next state. We met at a park and the rest was history..... I really had no intention of leaving my husband and family. Our situations were a bit different. I think at the time I just needed that extra attention that the affair provided where as the time went on, his marriage started to disintergrate on it's own accord for reasons that were there before I came into the picture. This really was the doing of his wife as he got caught in a fling many years ago and who else knows what went on between them and what kind of resentment the wife was harboring. with that said, they are still together, going through many volatile times. I, of course will never know the real story as we know what they tell us and what they want us to know. From the beginning, I tried walking away multiple times as the stress of the affair would take a toll on me and needless to say affected my home life to only come back where he was waiting with open arms. I was so afraid of letting go, scared of not having the feeling, the "drug"..... We did form a friendship and the times we saw each other were amazing but basically that was only 10 percent of my "real" life. He continually dragged me into his was stories at home. Made all kinds of promises about moving on, leaving, etc........even knowing I was not leaving my marriage. What I though was love for him was the FEELING OF BEING IN LOVE....I loved the attention, I loved that he adored me and wanted me, etc..... As far as the person, I could never trust him, a lot of the time I really didnt even like him. He obviously is weak, and the whining just finally got to me....... Forgetting that I was risking my own marriage everytime we spoke or saw each other......I just didn't want to be an extension of his misery. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to leave, especially with kids and who knows if it was really as bad as he claimed it to be.........but I realized that it was more stress and aggavation than I needed or wanted in my life....... It took me many months to finally get to this point.....a lot of NC's, etc but I did get there...... I have to say that I just went away on a vacation and for the first time since we have been together, I was relieved to be unreachable and not have to hear his whining about his miserable home life and I did not miss him. I basically got back and told him that I really just didn't want this in my life anymore, that the few hours of feeling good was so not worth the majority of my time "dealing" with him......... I think he might be thinking that this is another one of my NC phases but I guess he will realize with time that it's over when I dont go back. I just needed to share my story.......I know a lot of post I read were about woman wanted to know if there MM will leave for them and such, this was not the case for me with what I wanted but I can tell you that my MM is still there and probably can think of excuse after excuse not convince themselves that they can't leave. If what mine has told me bears any truth, his wife who claims to loathe him, can't leave either........ It's a long emotional rollercoaster and anyone who can relate to where I have been, hang in there. you are strong enough to be without someone that belongs to someone else. I'm sure there are some cases where there is a fairytale ending................ Thank you for letting me share and thanks to all who have responded to my posts in the past when I felt so alone and confused.........
whichwayisup Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Good for you! I hope you continue to stay happy and strong! Focus all that love and energy into your marriage and family!
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