hotgurl Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 So I don't know if you guys remember my thread about a friend who was planning to move to NJ with her BF of 2 months who was a little off. Well what happened was that I expressed my concerns and told her that I wished she would slow down but that I would support her no matter what she decided. Than I was trying to be positive about the BF & ask questions invite them over etc... It was moving forward and now he wants to move to Virgina and not NJ and he is starting to lay guilt trips on her etc... The only reason I know this is a mutal friend told me. My friend has totally lied to me about her situation pretending everything is ok etc..... It really pisses me off. She does activly do this and has done it with other friends. If you don't agree with what she is doing she will just lie to you about it or avoid it. She did this with her other friends when she broke up with her last BF she didn't move out right away and everyone was worried and offered help and she then just lied and said she moved when she didn't. So I guess my question is should I confront her on this or leave it alone. It really does piss me off that she is doing this because I was really making an effort to get to know the BF and told no matter what I would be there.
Author hotgurl Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 yeah I am bumping my own thread. But I am relly angry and wanted some suggestions about whether I should confront her on her lying or not.
alphamale Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 So I guess my question is should I confront her on this or leave it alone. You leave it alone....her life and her decisions are no one else's business.
Author hotgurl Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 I just wish she wouldn't lie to me that's all. What is she going to do move to VA and pretend she's in Jersey
alphamale Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I just wish she wouldn't lie to me that's all. well if you can't deal with her lying then you end the friendship....
Author hotgurl Posted August 10, 2006 Author Posted August 10, 2006 I guess I am just too involved. She only lies is she percieves disapproval or disagerement. Which I think is BS you can be friends and disagree. Thanks for replying alpha.
alphamale Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Thanks for replying alpha. ok, my bill is in the mail.
Adunaphel Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 It sounds like she lies out of fear of disappointing her friends (yourself included) or out of embarassment. I think that letting her know that you know she lied about her situation is better than being upset, and could you help you to get closer. I wonder if she is one of those people who have so big self-esteem issues that they get very unconfortable and anxious when their friends do not approve something they do. Perhaps she is feeling herself like she is doing a stupid thing, and is trying to avoid thinking about it. If she had told you, you'd have talked about it, and it could have perhaps opened her eyes, which might be something she does not wish to happen.
penkitten Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 maybe she doesnt want people to reject her because of what she does, so she lies to save face and maybe she isnt telling you about the new state that he wants to move to because she is hoping they still go to the other state.
Author hotgurl Posted August 11, 2006 Author Posted August 11, 2006 I am sure a lot of it has to do with her childhood. She was abused and never dealt with it. But she does it to all her friends. if there is a hint that you don't agree with what she does. It's like if you see someone running torwards a train shouldn't you stop there's a train even if they hchoose to keep running?
Recommended Posts