Guest Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 So after a year relationship, I think everything is going perfect, my girlfriend breaks up with me and tells me she never had "butterflies" and that she deserves them. So I had that intial sense of excitement at first when we first started dating, but I admit that I didn't have "butterflies" every moment after that, I guess I got comfortable. Either way, I feel absolutely worthless. Like I somehow failed as a person because of this. I did all the right things - I was romantic but not overbearing, I have a lot going for me in life, I don't know this is just a weird random way to end it. We got in a big fight and I said I wanted the last word if we weren't going to talk anymore, instead of saying something mean, I simply said thank you, I don't regret the time we had together, I learned things about myself, have a good night. So I pretty much have no choice but to do NC now, however I feel like the easiest way to do that would be to jump in front of a bus! It is just crazy to think someone is your best friend and then BAM, they morph into this different person.
loner Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I hear what your saying.. Rejection is a bitch, but if you have taken accountability for your own actions then you should just move on with your life in a positive way. Now is the time to reach out to friends and family. Also try diving into something that makes you feel good about yourself, only you know what that may be. You can get pass this hardship. Take care of you first!
superconductor Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 She's never had "butterflies" but thinks she deserves them? Now I can honestly say that I've heard it all. Send her a box of cockroaches instead.
Ukwizard Posted August 11, 2006 Posted August 11, 2006 Superconductor, that was funny lol. Seriousily, I think Guest`s girlfriend can`t find a good enough reason to leave. It sounds very similar to when my ex left me. She couldn`t find a good enough reason to leave me. I know this becasue she had been talking to people on the internet. Looking back, I guess her feelings chnaged 4 weeks before she left me. To use the phrase `butterflies`, doesnt cut it for me. I think what you need to do is communicate to her what she wants. I know I neglected to communicate where my relationship was going with my then girlfriend. I know now that she left me because although I was a nice man, she thought our relationship wasn`t going anywhere, and without speaking to me to fix things. She just left. You have to think somewhere along the period of your relationship. You have to find a time where she withdrew. A woman does NOT make up her mind in a day to dump you. Like I said with mine. It took her about a month. Remember that relationships have their ups, and downs. Try to find out when the rot set in your relationship. Its got comfortable, and stagnant. Maybe shes bored, hence she doesn`t have the `butterflies`, no more. I think women in general would prefer a bit of spontaneity. A bit of excitment in their lives. Now, I used to have a longish distance relationship. It was travelling, and going to vist her for a few hours before heading back. I did this for weeks. I remember one week. I got bored, and just out of impulse I said lets go to the pub! I remember my girlfriends (now ex) face light up. Any she said `yeah` with joy. It was something different from the daily drag of our lives. I think you should talk to her first. Try to find out what will make her happy. If it can be saved then try different, or do different things out of spontaneity. To me your post is very short. It doesn`t sound like a bad relationship. It`s not like it can`t be salvaged.
Guest Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Thanks for the feedback everyone. Uk, I found your comments interesting. For a little more background information, we have a long distance relationship, and the more that I think about it, I think I really did get too comfortable in the relationship. Since we have broken up, I have gotten a brand new job and I just got a new townhouse. (I had been living at home to save money, but I figured the prospects of meeting new women was a lot lower living in your Dad's basement, plus my initial idea was to move home for the summer, the summer of 2005, haha, I'm a last year law student - so not a complete bum!). It is weird, but all of this has boosted my confidence, I even have a date next week! It is weird, at first this was very hard to let go, I still love this girl with all my heart, she is still the first thing I think about when I get up and the last thing before bed. We've had a few friendly email exchanges, she just got a new job too, I am just basically responding in a friendly manner to any of the information she gives me. This was coming for a couple of months, and I was beating myself up trying to figure out what she was thinking, I became insecure and very afraid to lose her, but it is weird something in my brain just clicked, life is too short to be bitter. I don't have a huge plan to get her back, I am just going to make the most of my life and if she sees me differently doing that, great, but if she doesn't, I'll still be able to hold my head up!
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