scobro Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 Do you ever get tired of being alone?I separated from my wife a year ago and have only dated one woman since which lasted a few months.It has been 3 months since I have been with anyone and I am starting to feel very lonely.It's not that I can't be alone I am fine with it but I miss having someone to share things with or share my life with.I am considered attractive(male)but just never meet anyone whom I am attracted to.I have tried online dating and that produced a lot of people I liked but no chemistry.My friends are all married so I go out by myself on weekends. I just get the overwhelming feeling I will be alone forever I am still young 35 but find myself wanting to be attarctive to someone and be attacted to someone but can't seem to find it.Do you guys ever feel like this?and what advice can you give me to not feel the wrenching in my stomach when I feel alone.
garnet Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I can completely relate to this. I'm 35 and single also, and almost every one of my friends has settled down. I just haven't met the right person yet. Most of the time I'm fine, but sometimes it gets hard, especially on holidays. What works for me is that I try to focus on making the most of every single day. In a way, it's a good thing I have been alone for the past few years because I probably never would have started painting or started my own business (which I just did a few months ago). Because whenever I've been in a relationship in the past, I've tended to really focus too much on that person and not enough on myself. We never know when the right person will walk into our lives. It could be 10 years from now or it could be tomorrow. So we have to focus on being self-fulfilled and on achieving our goals independently, as well as nurturing the other types of relationships that we do have, whether they're local or long distance. That way, we don't stay so focused on the fact that we're alone...and we'll be in a much better place when the right person does come along! Think of it as an opportunity to really grow. Being alone is hard. It takes a strong person to do that and not just give in to being with "someone" just to avoid being alone. I'd also recommend reading "letters to a young poet" by ranier maria rilke. It talks about these very issues and is quite profound. cheers
Diver012 Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I miss spending time with someone as well. It hurts. I also remember a time when I spent 3 years alone. I was just kinda there spinning my wheels. I wasnt happy, I wasnt unhappy. I was just there. I moved to a new location, got a new job, met a girl and fell deeply in love. It didnt work and I feel like im right back where I started again. When I met my Ex I wasnt even loolking for a relationship. It just happened. The best advice I can give you is that sometimes it just takes time. If theres one absolute in life is thats nothing is for certain. I used to believe in the Cinderella story. After this last experience, I dont believe that anymore. Just be happy with the life you have, the gifts you have been given, and the people that care for you. Dont worry about what you dont have, and appreciate what you do have.
AriaIncognito Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 It always seems to happen when you're not looking for it, which is why i definitely wont meet someone now. I spend too much time thinking about the possibility of being with someone, of marriage, of family, etc. However, it's when i let go of that stuff, when I usually find someone. It's perfectly normal for you to be longing for companionship/love. We all long for it at one time or another. It's how you deal with that long, that will either help you or hurt you. Jennifer
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