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Posted

Sometimes, it sucks to be me. :(

 

Been dealing with this PTSD stuff for years now and have become decent at avoiding triggers but sometimes there isn't any avoiding them. When the unavoidable triggers come up I've become fair at suppressing the overwhelming symptoms of PTSD but there are a few that I've been dealing with all day. All the while trying to look semi-normal and force myself to go about my day.

 

Heart pounding out of my chest, tremors to the point of being visible to others ("too much coffee today", they say..."something like that I reply"), feeling like I want to vomit at any second, etc.

 

Sometimes I'd like to lose myself in a bottle of something or go to the doc for tranquilizers but none of that would help do anything except dull me out for a while and I don't use drugs. So that's not an option.

 

Sh*t.

 

A cave. Away from triggers, by myself might work but I don't want to be alone.

 

Mild PTSD is the diagnosis. If this is mild then what is moderate like? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that something called PTSD could be so crippling. Unless you have it you can't imagine the force it has.

Posted

Were you in Iraq, or something?

Posted
Sometimes, it sucks to be me. :(

 

Been dealing with this PTSD stuff for years now and have become decent at avoiding triggers but sometimes there isn't any avoiding them. When the unavoidable triggers come up I've become fair at suppressing the overwhelming symptoms of PTSD but there are a few that I've been dealing with all day. All the while trying to look semi-normal and force myself to go about my day.

 

Heart pounding out of my chest, tremors to the point of being visible to others ("too much coffee today", they say..."something like that I reply"), feeling like I want to vomit at any second, etc.

 

Sometimes I'd like to lose myself in a bottle of something or go to the doc for tranquilizers but none of that would help do anything except dull me out for a while and I don't use drugs. So that's not an option.

 

Sh*t.

 

A cave. Away from triggers, by myself might work but I don't want to be alone.

 

Mild PTSD is the diagnosis. If this is mild then what is moderate like? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that something called PTSD could be so crippling. Unless you have it you can't imagine the force it has.

 

 

I understand. I was diagnosed with PTSD years ago from multiple rape traumas.

 

There's a good book, if you like, but it is difficult to read and does have some triggers. It's called "I Can't Get Over It" by Dr. Aphrodite Matsakis, and it has various chapters, from combat PTSD to rape trauma syndrome to those who were affected by natural disasters or in accidents.

 

I hope you are seeing a qualified practitioner. Do you have any things that you do to alleviate the flashbacks?

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