disappointing friend.

[Mydish1]

I dont know what to say about my friend.

First off he's a closed off person and a little anti-social.

 

When i think of something to do he gives me excuses. When he thinks of something to do and calls me up, i agree...and down the line he ends up canceling it. since thats always the case usually i dont bother initiating stuff to do anymore. When i do call up to see hows he doing to talk, usually he's not interested in talking.

 

I understand if he doesnt like rejection, when he thinks of something to do his 2 other friends often makes excuses. the ironic thing is that he contacts those 2 friends more often than me, so they are more aware of hang out times than i do.

 

Anyway he's uninterested to go do anything other than play soccer.

Since his gf graduated from college and moved back to the city, he's going out to bars/movies/etc. with her and her 2 female friends more often.

Before she came back to the city it was hard enough as it was to get him to hit the bars or do anything for that matter. Now that she's back its twice as hard.

the way i see it, here is the problem: Whatever she wants to do he comes along. Whatever he wants to do she comes along.

used to when we played soccer it would be us and several other people. last weekend he brought his gf down to play with us..which was awkward.

 

From now on it'll be 2x as hard to do anything with her always being in the picture...

[littlekitty]

You sound quite young How old are you?

 

Unfortunately hon that's the way it's going to be...! Best get used to it!!

 

Sorry, but if your friend is apt to losing himself in his relationships and letting friendships dwindle a bit when he's in a relationship, there isn't much you can do about it, other than let him know he's hurting you.

 

It's simply a lesson that we learn over the years, that relationships often cause issues in friendships where someone 'drops' their friends and relies heavily on the relationship for all social activities etc.

 

Have you spoken to him about his behaviour? I would do that first. Make it clear that you value the friendship, but would like to spend some more 'guy' time together. If he can't make the changes you'll just have to accept the friendship on his terms, or move on.