Guest Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 hi. i'm in somewhat of a predicament. im 20, been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. we're planning on moving out together soon. the problem is that the more i think about my life the more i realize that i do want to be single again at some point. the more i tihnk about this fact, the more guilty i feel about committing to my gf, even though for the most part i greatly enjoy spending time with her. and i strongly believe that if we do move out together we'd have a great time. the question is would i be a dick for going through with this despite my feelings.
onefabs Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 I do not think you are being selfish. If you are not happy, how can those around you be happy? You will transfer you negativity and resentment onto her (consciously or subconsciously). That is not fair to her. Also take care of yourself first. You are the most important person.
drownindreams Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 If you hold these feelings in, there will only be more trouble in the future, especially if you are living together. I suggest talking to your gf honestly about this issue. Explain that you care about her deeply, but discuss what you want for the future with her. Does she see this as a long-term commiment? If you have different ideas about the relationship you need to talk them out. But, as a general rule of thumb, if someone wants a shorter-term relationship, that's how it needs to be. Prolonging a relationship where one partner isn't happy is terrible. Good luck, but remember honest communication--even if hurtful--is what needs to happen.
whichwayisup Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 the question is would i be a dick for going through with this despite my feelings. Not only will you being lying to yourself that life is good and you're happy, you'll be lying to your girlfriend. Don't move in with her if you feel you're not ready.
dgiirl Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 If you move in with her, knowing you dont see a future, then yes, you'd be selfish. The least you can do is let her know you dont see a future.
Guest Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 If you hold these feelings in, there will only be more trouble in the future, especially if you are living together. I suggest talking to your gf honestly about this issue. Explain that you care about her deeply, but discuss what you want for the future with her. Does she see this as a long-term commiment? If you have different ideas about the relationship you need to talk them out. But, as a general rule of thumb, if someone wants a shorter-term relationship, that's how it needs to be. Prolonging a relationship where one partner isn't happy is terrible. Good luck, but remember honest communication--even if hurtful--is what needs to happen. hi. i agree with the above to an extent. just coz u sort of want to b single some time again doesnt mean ur bad, it just means ur human. my mam n dad n many other couples who love each other dearly still fancy other ppl but they would neva cheat they wud jz flirt. plus all couples need their own time at times. u may b scared like i was that ur partner doesnt eva think of others but trust me everyone does no matter how good a couple u jz dont let it jepardise wot u hav. if u think wot u hav wi ur partner is something special let the rel run it's course. if u r unhappy in other ways opt out. it may make u feel mor comfy if u talk to ur partner about these worries u hav n make sure u make it clear to them that u love them mor than ne1 else or ne single erges u hav. i talked to my bf about my worries of hurting him coz of silly lil thoughts about others that pass by but neva jepardise our rel n at 1st he thought i was dumping him then when we talked it out n i asked him if he had ne soft spots 4 ne1 else he admitted that he did too n that it's only human to fancy others n still hav a single brain set n that that's cool if u dont act on these thoughts, but that if i eva felt like opting out of our rel to do so (as in only opt out of the rel if u dont see a future with me/ if u think u can find sum1 better). wot im sayin is if u r happy wi ur partner stick at it, dnt throw it away coz of silly lil doubts that all couples get now n again. only throw it away if u r unhappy in ur rel or feel there is sum1 better out there. i think married couples wud probs agree? married couples comment please...
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