TheSilentType Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Why can't people directly tell their SO what's bothering them or their love interest that they are interested in them? It's so cowardly! I mean, I was guilty of once leaving a note for a girl I liked, but now I would never resort to that method to tell someone I like them. I would risk the rejection and go straight up to them and tell them I am interested in them. I also find it sad that some people communicate with their spouses or SO's through e-mails and texts, such as when they have a fight or something is wrong in their relationship. Why not just tell the other person directly??
Adunaphel Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 When I read the subject line I was about to reply something along the line of "hell, yes" because I thought the post was about dumping someone via email or text message. I think that telling things via email (or letter, or text message) can be okay as long as you are not hurting the other person's feelings by doing so. Leaving a note might sound like a childish thing, but can be a last resort to shy people... or a way to get started expressing your feelings. in the unfortunate case you are not reciprocated, you might save the other person some embarassment. If you tell someone you are interested via email, and she/he is not interested, he/she can in turn reject you(ouch!) via email, without sounding like a coward him/herself. If he/she is interested, he/she won't care so much that you didn't express your feelings in person! Communicating with your partners about some problems you might be having via email/letter, can be useful when one of the parts just "will not listen", or gets too emotional, or whenever there are verbal communication problems. Telling the other person directly would be great, but well....if that is not possible or does not work, an email or letter is way better than not to communicate at all. Also, emails and letters, you can re-read them. You can express your thoughts in a more coherent way. And you can't play the "you didn't say that" card, or the "I missed that" card, since it's all there, on the letter/email.
blind_otter Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 I like the idea of telling them directly, and letters can and do serve a purpose. But IME people tend to be able to express things that they might not ever really be able to completely express in real life. Which is nice, but it also begs the question of whether it's even important to know about such things, if you can only rarely or never experience them from that person IRL. I've been somewhat seduced by written communication, in a LDR, only to find the reality of the person much less desireable. I'm just saying.
Author TheSilentType Posted August 9, 2006 Author Posted August 9, 2006 I know it sometimes easier to communicate in writing. But I can't get over the fact that it is so cowardly and impersonal. I mean, if I were to have a fight with the girl I liked, I would never send her an e-mail and discuss our issues in it. I would wait till we could meet again, sit her down, and talk to her. Even if there was screaming and yelling. Face the issue like a man rather rather than address her indirectly. I would do the same if I was apologizing to a girl. I wouldn't e-mail her, write her, or even phone her. I would apologize to her face, even if she threw the apology back at me. To do anything less seems cowardly and indirect. Like you don't want to face the ugliness.
blind_otter Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Personally I think people can misrepresent themselves in their writing. It's harder to tell, when you can't look them in the eye while they're spilling their guts.
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