grateful Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 It sounds as if you are pushing me to play nice and say sorry. Very well, I apologize for stating "the women of this culture"....You'll have to forgive me. I am not used to being so sensitive at times. I am quite aware of the correct terminology, and to be sure, I require no lessons. I do believe I went on to state that he is Cuban. I WAS asking for opinions from spanish women but failed to mention latino and/or hispanic women as well. I figured I would cut straight to the point and mention the word "spanish" figuring that it is all encompassing with the general train of thought in the world today. Again, if that is generalizing, and stereotying and culturally insensitive towards some of the posters here, I do apologize. Based on what you've written here, I don't think I've made myself clear or you actually do need another lesson. Spanish = people from Spain. Latino = people in the US of Latin American descent. These categories are seperate and distinct; "spanish" is not all emcompassing as you've written. Therefore the category "spanish" does not include Cuban, Mexican, Bolivian, Brazilian, etc people living in the US. Your first post indicates either that you do not know this, or that you were asking for opinions from women born in Spain about a Cuban man watching programs made for Latinos and Latin Americans. Not everyone on this forum is in the US - - no one in Europe would think you meant a US Latino when you use the term "spanish." Why not ask French women or Thai women if you wanted an outside opinion? Or if you wanted to make the connection of culture, ask Latina women living in the US if they tolerate this? Out of mild curiosity, why are you attacking my verbage? I'm not attacking anything. I do, however, believe that a person who doesn't realize the problem of calling a Latino person "spanish" is being insensitive to Latin American culture which includes European, African, and indigenous cultures and traditions. Tragic, you've made a lot of effort to make your BF happy. You've been treated very poorly by his relatives. It's possible that has soured your opinion of Cuban Americans. That's a pretty drastic outcome of a relationship. You should expect a man to make as much effort to meet your needs and share your interests as you do for him. You shouldn't evaluate his treatment of you based on culture, i.e. are Cuban women treated like this, but rather on how you deserve to be treated and what you want from a relationship. I've never learned how to cook anything for any man. And I love to cook. My SO just had to learn to like to eat what I like to cook. Or do the cooking himself (which he now does on many occasions, often cooking the very things he said he didn't like when I met him - - people learn and grow from each other). That to me is a reasonable expectation. Learning to cook what he likes, and cook only that, is so 1950s. Don't be afraid to assert yourself in your relationship. If he won't bend, then he isn't the right man for the woman you describe yourself to be.
Author Tragic Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 I do, however, believe that a person who doesn't realize the problem of calling a Latino person "spanish" is being insensitive to Latin American culture which includes European, African, and indigenous cultures and traditions. I think, at this point, the problem is all you. I did not need a history lesson, rest assured, I am well aware of the spanish/latino/hispanic tirade that you just launched yourself into for no apparent reason at all, given that it is not even on topic with regards to what I am asking. I am sure I am not the only one who thinks your incessant babbling is borderline ridiculous. Of course I understand what you are refering to. I speak spanish. I live among Latinos. I am completely emmersed in their culture and world. How could I not know? Is it you, personally, that I am being insensitive (are you latino?) or have you just taken it upon yourself to become the spokesperson for Insensitivity towards Latin Culture Coalition?
Author Tragic Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 Okay, sorry, I responded before I saw your edit. I see you did add advice. Thank you. I will respond in a moment.
Author Tragic Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 You shouldn't evaluate his treatment of you based on culture, i.e. are Cuban women treated like this, Actually, this is a good point, but I had my reasons for this. The reason being that he has been resistent and stubborn towards any type of change. He still keeps his views on women and society that he had in Cuba. His cousin who has been here a while longer says that he still thinks he lives in Cuba, his opinions and views are way outdated, actually even in comparison to how some young Cuban men living in Cuba may think. Thus, because I am not Cuban, I was simply wondering if perhaps his treatment towards me would be tolerated by a traditional Cuban woman, or was he going way overboard and taking advantage of the situation.
Asafan Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 Is it you, personally, that I am being insensitive (are you latino?) or have you just taken it upon yourself to become the spokesperson for Insensitivity towards Latin Culture Coalition? Right on sister, preach! :lmao:
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