Beee Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 I have been with the same man (on and off - before it became serious) for 9 years, 2 of which have been very serious. For many years I was the one doing the chase and being deeply in love. I have managed to get over him seeing other women, while I stuck by him like a good friend (with some bits on the side). Finally 2 years ago things got serious and we were an official couple. Since then he moved here to be with me, we lived together with his borther for a while and alone for the past 3 months. Unfortunately things haven't been all rosey. I moved out about a month ago to be on my own and to be able to stand on my own 2 feet. For many years I have encouraged my boyfriend to persue his passion, photography, and put myself in the backseat. Both of us should have put more effort into the relationship, but I feel I have been the one supporting it and at the same time the one who has been weaker. Since I moved out (and then moved back in) nasty things have been said by both of us and the trust has been shacken quite severely. Since then I have beacome closer with a good friend who I've known for about 8 years. I have spent some time with him and have developed feleings for him. He makes me feel good, he tries to put my needs first and tried to always do the right thing by me. He seems to think we are a very good fit and could really be made for eachother (which is what I USED to think about me and my boyfriend). The people I have spoken to tell me that I should get out of my current relationship, as that has run its course, and focus on this new man. Last Thursday my boyfriend called it a day (as we were having a very bad argument). I went away for the weekend and when I returned he offered to give it another go. Unfortunately I have to decide if I am going to go on a diving trip with this friend or give up this new found passion (the diving) and stay home. The trip (to make things worse) is on my boyfriends birthday. He's asked me not to go on this trip as my friend will be there. If I don't go he says it will give him a strong signal that I really do want to try and work things out with him. If I don't go it gives my friend the signal that, yes ok I'm intrested in you, but not enough. I am finding it impossible to make a decision. On one hand I have this amazing guy who makes me feel really good and tries to put me first when he can. But on the other, there's my boyfriend. He's someone I have built a life with. He knows what I have been through in the past (parents being ill and family members dying). We have built a life together and to give that up terryfies me. What if I do give it up for this new man and then realise that it was just "the grass is always greener on the other side" situation? What if I realise he's the one I want to spend my life with and can't go back? I'm also concerned about what my boyfirend will do if we break up. I have the support of this new man and am also very close to my parents. He would have to start from scratch and relay entirly on his own energies. This situation is really runnign me down . I don't think I have ever been this stressed. How do I make a decision I won't regrtet? how do I know is the right decision to make? I know what its like not being able to be with the person you love (as its was for me years ago with my boyfirend) so I want to make sure I'm not in that situation again. I just want to make the right decision. Thanks for reading such a long post, any advice is very welcome.
Author Beee Posted August 12, 2006 Author Posted August 12, 2006 Hasn't anyone been in this situation? doesn't anyone have any advice? I feel really stuck, which ever way I turn. Please help me choose the right path.... Thanks.
Returning Posted August 12, 2006 Posted August 12, 2006 Only you can choose the right path. Flip a coin, if it lands in favour of the wrong one you will know.
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