jgaz3124 Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Ok let me start from the beginning. About a year ago I met, started hanging out then feel in love with my now ex boyfriend. At the beginning we had a great relationship. He treated my wonderfully. But the thing is, is that I have been hurt alot in the past. I was cheated on in my last two relationships and the relationship before that was abusive. Now all that has left me alittle bitter and resentful of relaiotships in general. Anyways needless to say my current relationship started to fall apart. I was moody, bitter but most of all I was so scared to lose him that I never gave him any space. I always had to be with him to make sure he wouldn't cheat on me and hurt me( by the way had never given me reason to believe that he would , he was nothing but great.) I always mentioned my ex's to him and that bothered him. I was always jealous if he talked to another girl. He has lots of female friends but i know he would never do anything like cheat but it still bothered me. I don't know I guess it all got to be too much. We both started fighting all the time and he keep telling me he wanted days to himself( which is not an unreasonble request) But I just kept pushing him and I in all of this I lost a sense of myself. I was unhappy with the way things were but my unhappiness came from me not him. But all of the stuff I was doing made him unhappy and about 4 days ago he just snapped and ended it. He told me I was crazy and I never gave him a chance to be him and it was done. Well I guess at this point I really had to take a good hard and honest look at myself and I realized that I was bitter, resentful, jealous, and very very insecure. I now know that I need to change these things about me. After he broke up with me he would not take my calls or messages at all. I wrote him a letter and sent it to his house telling basically that I was sorry for everything I put him thru and that I was working on changing myself and I unstand that he needs time away from me and I need to time to change and find myself again. Well today he finally picked up the phone when I called and we talked for 20 minutes. I told him that i was not begging him to come back to me because I know we both have stuff to figure out and work on but I still had hopes that somewhere in the future we could start over again. He said he would meet me for coffee one day and we could talk. So now this is what I need advice on. I am sure my ex is the one for me. But I know it will never work without this time apart to find ourselves and do things differently. Now that we started talking again I don't want to push it and push him to talk and be with me. What type of things can I do to keep myself from always calling him and texting him and just keep the contact light for now so we both have space. I mean what do you guys do when the impulse strikes you too push someone that you know you shouldn't? Any advice would be good.
sickkitty Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 i was very much like u in my relationship, my ex was my 2nd bf so i wanted to please him, then i started getting insecure id txt him 10 times aday and phone him every hr or so, the thing with my ex was he was very nice (a little 2 nice) and although he wasnt that attractive girls loved his personality. One girl inperticular who fancied him like hell and was trying to get with him while we were going out. Towards the end i think he wanted her, he broke up with me 7 wks ago saying he didnt want a gf right now and likes being single.............. well u can guess who he has been dating for the past month! So i did have something to be insecure about after all! Its normal 2 feel insecure after u have been hurt so much, im sorry to hear that u have had some crappy relationships, he should she who u felt and understand why u did what u did not just give up on u! I hope things work out for u x Amanda x
kbah Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 It sounds to me that you have been with the "wrong" guys. I am not saying this is YOUR fault (sometimes the cover does not properly illustrate the book) but maybe you need to rethink what about those guys you liked. Did they have much in common????It seems as though your current ex did not truly care about you. If he did...he would not call you crazy bc you had past heartbreak and then dump you. I used to me much of the same way as you bc I was hurt in the past. I've been with with my boy for almost 2 years. Whenever I get jealous, insecure, he reassures me and we talk. He doesnt call me crazy or any other name. He lets me talk about my past experience and I hear his. He truly cares about my well-being. Find someone who can love you like this and I PROMISE it will make all those other past experience insignificant.
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