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sickkitty

By sickkitty
in Coping

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sickkitty Established Member

sickkitty

Posted
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I really need some advice from u guys please,

My ex told me on sat that he is dating a girl who fancied him for ages (if u need any info go 2 my tread "i feel so stupid") i had a feeling they were going out but since he has told me i dont no if reality has set in or what but im back 2 crying every day getting panic attacks and not being able to eat let alone go 2 work and do my job properly iv gone back down hill, i think its coz i no il never get him back or that he is happy with her and is doing things with her he never done for me!

I love that man 2 bits i no he doesnt deserve it but i can help it i cant stop thinking about him, i just wanna be in his arms

 

Could any one give me any advice, i dont no what 2 do

has any one else had 2 cope with there ex going out with another girl/guy after such a sort time after ur break up and got over it or still dealing with it?

Ant comments will be great, thanx guys

 

Amanda xx

bluechocolate Established Member

bluechocolate

Posted
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Stop speaking to him. Stop seeing him. Don't let your friends tell you what he's up to. Pretend he's dead.

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sickkitty Established Member

sickkitty

Posted
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Easier said than done they both live about 10 mins from where i live i dont even wanna go out in case i see them both 2gether :o/

bluechocolate Established Member

bluechocolate

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OK, but just because someone lives 10 minutes from you doesn't mean you have to speak to them. It might be easier said than done, but is it easy feeling the way you do now?

 

iv gone back down hill

 

Of course it is no coincidence that you've gone downhill after you spoke to him on Saturday.

 

A break up is a grieving process & you need time to grieve properly. If you speak to him then you end up starting the process all over again.

 

Go to different places & change your routine somewhat. You don't have to deliberately snub the guy, just don't put yourself into a position where you have to interact with him. It doesn't have to be forever, just until you've gotten over the break-up, which you eventually will.

AriaIncognito Established Member

AriaIncognito

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Ditto to what bluechocolate suggested. Of course you were set back, you talked to him. While some of us can handle having contact with an ex, some of us can't especially if there are any lingering feelings of wanting them back. Hiding away to "avoid" him doesn't work either. How often did you bump into him before you met or even while you were dating? Odds are, it wasn't that often, you're just blowing it out of proportion in your own mind because you don't want to deal with potentially seeing him with her. (which of course, who would want to see that). However, seeing that could also make you realize that you're sitting there crying while he's out living his life without you. It can be a harsh reality, but at least then maybe you'd be more pushed towards moving forward.

 

Chin up. Leave the house. I'm not saying seek him out, just don't stop living because he might be around. Odds are, he's not.

 

Jennifer

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sickkitty Established Member

sickkitty

Posted
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i no what u r saying its just hard, iv never felt like this b4 and some times its hard 2 cope, cant talk 2 my mum (she doesnt care_Really) Dont really have any one to confide in

I have seen him 4 times since i have been out the places where i go he goes (its a small area) i went out for a drink the other night with my friend, But the bar we were in is were u usually goes, i just kept hoping he wouldnt walk through those doors with her! i no chances r im going to c them 2gether (thats why he told me the truth after all this time) i wish i could stop loving him.............. i should hate him right now shouldnt i?

the_alchemyst Established Member

the_alchemyst

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Listen to what was said above, kitty.

 

You are right in that things are usually easier said than done, especially regarding matters of the heart, yes. But even so, you have to try.

 

I understand that you love him, regardless of whether he deserves it or not, and that you want to be with him. But you have to ask yourself if this is what you really want. At first, "Yes!!" will probably be the first answer, but take a good look at what he is done. Take a good look at where you are right now. While it is partly your fault for seeking out this harmful information, it is partly his for voluntarily telling you what and who he is up to, while trying to string you along.

 

If you don't listen and try to ignore him, you will end up like yours truly, and, honey, you don't want that.

 

My exbf also lives about 10 minutes a way, and I'm not all that set for going out because I'm scared to run into him. More than that, I always find myself taking long-ass alternative routes because I just don't want to pass by his house. Just seeing his car not parked outside triggers nasty reactions on my part.

 

So, I spend more gas driving around the evil block. But I prefer to spend more money than more heart.

 

It's pretty early for you, it seems, so you are bound to have ups and downs even if you don't see, hear, or know about him.

 

It'll hurt to do this, yes it will. But in the end, it'll have been for the best.

 

Call him and tell him to stop calling you or looking for you because you are busy and don't have time to waste on waste.

BatteredByLove Established Member

BatteredByLove

Posted
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Amanda... believe me, I've been on that boat... you'll have your ups and you've had your downs, but in order to actually heal and feel better, you've got to realize one thing, ya'll arent together anymore, and that he's having fun with some other girl, you should do the same. What if in this time of mourning you're not letting "the one" walk into your life since you're clouded with your ex? My EX dated another guy after about 4 months after our breakup... and for 2 of those months we were having the best of times, flirting, everything, and it seems as if we were getting back together... but I felt as if she was stringing me along so I just said everything I felt, she then of course went NC, and so did I. So really, I kinda think she moved on kinda quick... our relationship was a year and 1 month.

 

But to get to the point, this is where I go, enough is enough, I'm wasting my time and efforts on her, if her mind is made up on what she wants to do, let her, it's her life. Your EX already has another girl in his life, stop thinking about him, the second you accept reality that he's gone, the second you can start to heal. I don't know if I should say this... but mostly for people that are hurting when coping, it's because they still have hopes that the ex will come through that door again and back into their lives... this is a critical mistake when we want to cope, because in a way we don't want to heal. Kill all hope and you're going to be having the best time of your life. We here on LS are here for you if your mom isn't :).

 

Check out these threads, they're a good read.

 

No Foolin's thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t56954/

Lost in Chicago's thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t70200/

 

-BBL

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sickkitty Established Member

sickkitty

Posted
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Thanx BBL that means alot:) thanx every one for their advice it is all very true and while my wounds r still fresh i no i have to face up 2 reality and do my best 2 move on. Thanx guys x

 

Amanda x

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