Ok What Do You Think?

[Confuzzled85]

My ex broke up with me after 3 years, his main reason he wanted space and freedom whilst he is still young, and wishes we would have met later in life, he has also recently said things would be so much different if we were 2gether now, I think this is because Ive started to become more independant driving, got a better job, seeing friends more etc.

 

The question I have is does he want me back? or does he just want to be friends?

 

We have a holiday booked in a couple of weeks, I have said to him I dont think it will be a good idea, but he just keeps saying that he doesnt want anyone else there, im his best friend and being with anyone else for a week would annoy him? I guess what Im trying to get at, is he being selfish trying to keep me by him,yet have his freedom to do what he wants, so he can try and get back with me later in life?

 

In case you were wondering he still acts pretty much as if we were together, we have the same group of friends, so we do see each other quite alot. Which im okey with really, sometimes its a bit awkward but I suppose its to be expected, the way I see it, I spent 3 years of my life with this person and I do not want to lose them out of my life completely.

Loving him... now thats a different question... I dont know if I do to be honest, I suppose if I sit down and think about it there is something left, but it would be hard for me to then trust him if he said he did want me back and it was what he wanted, I would always be thinking.... what if it happens again and I have to go through the heartache all over.

 

Anyway think thats about it to be honest, oh and he isnt with anyone else, nor has he been since we spilt, up thats one of his good points hes very honest and will never lie about anything, I was his first girlfriend and his first everything......

 

Anyway if anyone has any thoughts on this or something similar has happened please let me know thank you

[Yamaha]

is he being selfish trying to keep me by him,yet have his freedom to do what he wants,

 

Yes.

 

You must make up your mind for what you want in this relationship.

[silentcharon]

My ex broke up with me after 3 years, his main reason he wanted space and freedom whilst he is still young, and wishes we would have met later in life, he has also recently said things would be so much different if we were 2gether now, I think this is because Ive started to become more independant driving, got a better job, seeing friends more etc.

 

The question I have is does he want me back? or does he just want to be friends?

 

We have a holiday booked in a couple of weeks, I have said to him I dont think it will be a good idea, but he just keeps saying that he doesnt want anyone else there, im his best friend and being with anyone else for a week would annoy him? I guess what Im trying to get at, is he being selfish trying to keep me by him,yet have his freedom to do what he wants, so he can try and get back with me later in life?

 

In case you were wondering he still acts pretty much as if we were together, we have the same group of friends, so we do see each other quite alot. Which im okey with really, sometimes its a bit awkward but I suppose its to be expected, the way I see it, I spent 3 years of my life with this person and I do not want to lose them out of my life completely.

Loving him... now thats a different question... I dont know if I do to be honest, I suppose if I sit down and think about it there is something left, but it would be hard for me to then trust him if he said he did want me back and it was what he wanted, I would always be thinking.... what if it happens again and I have to go through the heartache all over.

 

Anyway think thats about it to be honest, oh and he isnt with anyone else, nor has he been since we spilt, up thats one of his good points hes very honest and will never lie about anything, I was his first girlfriend and his first everything......

 

Anyway if anyone has any thoughts on this or something similar has happened please let me know thank you

 

Yes, he is being selfish.

 

I was in the same sort of situation as you are in right now. He doesn't want to be with you, yet remain friends. I think he can handle being 'just friends' with you, but can you handle being just friends with him?

 

He has already given you his answer, He doesn't want to be with you. Unless you have asked him directly, you have your answer. If you can handle being friends and not wonder whether that hug meant something more, or that tickle match you had signalled something more, go ahead. I couldn't.

 

You are basically his back burner girl. Go NC, give both of you the chance to heal and possibly, to miss each other. You said you have become more independent, seeing friends more, etc, Good for you. Keep working on that when you go NC, you will need that sense of independence more than ever. Good luck.