Guest Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 I read a reply to another thread in which it was implied that, if a man has a partner, but isnt married to her, and then has another lover, he isnt actually cheating, because he isnt married! Many people consider themselves to be involved in loving, committed relationships, without having married, and infidelity is not going to hurt any less because there is no piece of paper declaring you as your partners wife. And yes, I speak from experience! My partner of seven years cheated on me. It hurt deeply. The pain was physical. I think his OW thought he was "fair game" because we were not married and had no children together. Unfortunately, she underestimated the connection we had, and the brief fling with her was no match for our shared years together. As she texted and phoned for weeks afterwards, trying to instigate contact with him again, I saw how desperate she had become, and felt almost sorry for her. She was the OW because she began a liason with him when he was involved, emotionally and physically, with me. I do not judge OW/OM, but I have to wonder if the anguish caused all round is worth it?? Who is happy in a love triangle? Not the W or g/f, not the OW, occasionally the H while he is having his cake and eating it too, before the W finds out, or the OW starts making demands!
Adunaphel Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 I agree that cheating is just as bad whether you are married or not. I guess the only differences are that in the very unlikely eventuality that the cheating partner actually decides to leave the relationship, things will be quicker because there will be no need of attorneys or divorce papers, and that the OW/OM cannot get any of the "I would like to leave, but I can't because of the kids" or the "my H/W will not sign the divorce papers" lines. Also, if two people are not married, I guess you tend to hope more strongly they are not made for each other and that they will eventually break up. IMO, anyone who *actually* thinks that people who are not married but in a relationship are "fair game" has some serious issues. Thank you for not judging OW/OM. I hope you are working things out with your partner.
BUTAFLY Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 In my 'mm' mind it wasn't as bad because he was not married "Its not like i'm married or anything". But to me it was -HE WAS ENGAGED and states he will never cheat on his wife (yeah right), but gf's come and go. Nice huh?
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