Author SUMMER 1969 Posted August 13, 2006 Author Posted August 13, 2006 Yeah, maybe you are correct in saying that I play games, as I do always go after the men that play hard to get.. I don't know why I do that.. I have a lot of friends as most of them are men, and I know a few of my friends would love to date me, I just don't have a attraction to them.. I don't know why, they would treat me so good..
dancehead Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Hi Summer, I have just read all of this thread and I am sorry you are feeling like this. I am drawing many comparisons to my story. I spent almost 5 years with a girl hoping they would love me back, and then they left me for another man, just as I was closer than ever to her heart. It is painful, probably more painful than a proper relationship, so I can see where you are coming from in thinking what a waste of time its been and the pain you feel. Yes my story is the same, I made a friend, it moved on, she told me she didn't want a bf, only sex. Then the games started and she said the L word. But her version of love is not what I call love or she would be with me now. I had her dating other men, the pain from that. I just feel its been a total waste of all these years. Feel lucky you have not endured it for as long as I have, if you give in and see him again you will be back to this again. Believe me, I have been where you are now many times before of not speaking to her and feeling like this, but then we would make up somehow and it will be great for a while before I got hurt again. And back to square one. They don't love you - at least not like we want them to. Heck, the girl still says she loves me even now she has a bf and wants me to meet this guy and we can all be friends. She talks to me like nothing ever happened. Its hard to be friends with someone like this, I would advise caution in being a friend to someone you still love, like the previous posts here. Be careful and protect your heart. And go and have fun as much as you can with your foot being as it is. I am trying to do that and forget her. I cannot give much more advise than this because I am in the same situation as you so not very well placed to offer it!¬ But at least you know that you are not alone and there are other people who you can talk to you who have been feeling the same. take care
Guest Posted August 13, 2006 Posted August 13, 2006 Yeah, maybe you are correct in saying that I play games, as I do always go after the men that play hard to get.. If you are hanging around several men maybe you are also not ready to be with just one man. Maybe your ex also took this into consideration when he thought about having a furture with you. As you said you also play games. Maybe your not heart broken and you are just upset you got schooled by your ex. Remember what goes around comes around. You should not play games with anybodys emotions.
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 I don't try to play games, I do have a lot of guy friends, I have always had more guy friends then girl friends... I do care very much for him, I don't want to be with out him, I would do anything to make him love me... I know I can not change the way his heart feels... What I meant by always going after guys that play hard to get is that I enjoy the challange... Or maybe its that I feel that I don't deserve someone to just be nice to me.. I don't know... I am almost 30 years old and I feel like a mess.. I am so scared that I will never have kids and that I will never get married.. I miss my ex so much, and he does not feel the same for me.. I know if I called him right now he would talk to me, I also know if I wanted to see him he would just want sex from me.. Its all about sex with him, it always has been, I just wore my blind fold... I know if you treat someone bad it will come back and haunt you, I have never treated a man bad, if I was not intrested in someone I have always been honest.. I just wish I could get my self esteem back.. I have started to take a anti depressent again, so I am hoping I will be able to find my self once again.. I know that when you are on these drugs you have no emtion, but maybe thats what I need right now.. I know I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but I am so sick of always getting hurt, I do nothing but give them the world and I feel I always get shi_ on.. I understand a realtionship is about compermise, but he never really did anything that special for me.. He would call me all of the time, and he would drive to see me every other week, but I feel I put a lot more into the realtionship then he did.. I guess this is life, and this is something I will have to get past, its just hard right now.. I know that God only gives us what we can handle, but what in the hell am I suppose to have learned off this??? I just don't get it...
norajane Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 What I meant by always going after guys that play hard to get is that I enjoy the challange... Or maybe its that I feel that I don't deserve someone to just be nice to me.. I don't know... I am almost 30 years old and I feel like a mess.. I am so scared that I will never have kids and that I will never get married.. As much as you want a commitment, you're also afraid of it. That may be why you're drawn to [emotionally] unavailable or unattainable men...subconscously, you know they'll never ask you to commit, to give completely of yourself. Whereas, you know those guy friends of yours who would treat you well, eventually, they WILL want real [emotional] intimacy and commitment. I have started to take a anti depressent again, so I am hoping I will be able to find my self once again.. I know that when you are on these drugs you have no emtion, but maybe thats what I need right now.. Now, when you're flooded with emotions, you're afraid of yourself. Something that makes you numb isn't likely to lead you to finding your 'self'. They'll just dull your 'self'. I'm just guessing, of course, but it may be something worth thinking about.
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 If I am so afraid of a commiment, then why is it that I am so hurt right now? Why is it that I feel so alone? I really want to settledown and get married to someone, I would love to have kids.. I don't think I am scared of settling down with anyone.. I am just very picky with men... I always have been.. I don't know, I just feel lost.. I can not eat, I can not sleep, I just want to be alone.. I know I am depressed right now, and I don't know how to get out of this funk.. If I talk to any of my friends I always have my ex on my mind.. I get my byopsy done on Tues and my ex said he will go with me.. So, I am really scared to see him again, I know he will just act like nothing is wrong here.. I know after I go to the doctor I will probable never see him again unless he wants a piece of as_ off me.. It is the way it is, he wants nothing more then sex from me, he does not care about me what so ever.. I think he wants to go to the doctor with me so he can still keep me holding on to him... I know he is doing nothing but play games with me, but I am very scared to go to the doctor and then if by any chance they tell me I have cancer I will loose it.. As far as the anti depressent I am on, well, I am just so sick of crying all of the time.. I am sick of feeling the hurt.. I know that by taking this drug clouds my emotions, but I just want to get past him.. I want to move on.. I know everyone on this website is hurting, or did hurt at one time, and it sucks! I guess we all know to never lead someone on and to always be honest.. I know that I could never use someone the way I got used.. I also know that he is more then likely sleeping with someone else.. The way I see it is, if you have a pretty girl, someone who can talk, someone who can clean, someone who can cook and the list goes on, well, I don't know how he could not have of fallen for me.. What I really think is that he does not want anything more then a sex partner and he does not want to settle down anytime soon.. Well when he is 40 sitting at home alone, then maybe he will realize that he made a big mistake..
norajane Posted August 14, 2006 Posted August 14, 2006 The way I see it is, if you have a pretty girl, someone who can talk, someone who can clean, someone who can cook and the list goes on, well, I don't know how he could not have of fallen for me.. Couldn't your guy friends, the ones that are nice to you and would treat well, ask you the same thing? If you could have a great guy whom you obviously enjoy hanging out with and being friends with and who would take care of you and treat you well and the list goes on, how could you not fall for him? You obviously have good friends that you have been talking to about your relationship and who care about you - why not ask one of them to go to the doctor with you? You are the one holding on to this guy, the unattainable one.
Author SUMMER 1969 Posted August 14, 2006 Author Posted August 14, 2006 You are so correct, I am holding on to my ex.. I guess I still feel that there is hope.. I know in my heart that he does not care, but I guess I am hoping for him to just say he made a mistake..
Guest Posted August 15, 2006 Posted August 15, 2006 I guess I have to ask why do you refer to him as your ex? You are still sleeping with him and continue to see him when ever he wants. Why would you let him go to the doctor with you? What good could come from this? I would have to agree with you. At this point I think he would just go to the doctor with you to keep his hold on you. Of course it's working and you are still letting him call all of the shots. I think if you let him go with you your making a big mistake. Let someone who cares about you go with you. This way if something comes from your tests at least you have someone with you that really cares about you. Not someone who just wants to sleep with you. I think you are just headed for somemore pain if you continue to let this man into you life. You should grow up and realize if you want kids, a relationship, and to settle down you need to look for someone who also wants these things. If you let men continue to treat you like crap it's going to become a pattern and you will never find what you are looking for. If you are really looking for what you say you are. It shouldn't turn you off if a guy is a nice guy and doesn't play games with you. If he treats you like you should be treated and gives you everything you need this is the type of guy you should be trying to hold on to. It sounds like you already have a guy like this in your life. I think a lot of women would agree with me with saying it is difficult to find a man now of days like this. I don't think your ex is ever going to say he made a mistake with you. I think if you let a man that treats you good slip through your fingers that you are the one making the mistake.
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