Tsofan35 Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 I have a friend I've known since high school. We've grown apart and found different interests. She has health problems that she dwells on and frankly I don't think she's even tried to be much of a friend over the years (18 yrs). She is on her 2nd marriage and has 3 teenage children. When we first graduated we kept in touch, I sent her and her family birthday and Christmas cards. She never even remembered my birthday. I've been married almost 6 years and have no children yet. I find her boring, very pessimistic (probably because of her health problems) and I do not care for her 2nd husband. We mainly communicate via email now and her husband had the nerve to write me what I consider a mean email basically saying that I'm not a good friend, wondering why I don't keep in touch, etc., etc. I am the one that keeps in touch, not her. I wrote him back and basically told him I'm sorry if you feel this way but people grow apart and no longer have the same things in common. He wrote back apologizing but at this point I don't want anything to do with either one of them and am trying to end this friendship. Anyone have any advice? I would appreciate it.
Guest Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 I think you're doing it. Cut back on all communication. If you do reply to emails, keep them brief and vague. I think if she doesn't make much effort to 'be a good friend' anyways, by just not making any effort on your end the friendship should die a natural death.
amaysngrace Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 If a relationship is leaving you drained, it's in your own best interest to end it. She isn't making much effort, and you've seemed to have given it all you've got. Apparently from what you've described, she doesn't put you on her priority list. Why should you feel guilty about ending this friendship? I know it sounds selfish, but you need to put yourself and your feelings first. I think this would fall into the category of 'toxic friendships'. And if that's the case, no one should fault you for bailing, leastly yourself. It's called self-preservation. And it's crucial for your own well-being. Try not to think of the friendship as you would like it to have been, just focus on seeing it for what it is. Then maybe you won't feel so bad.
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