XthreeXstrikesX Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Hi, I'm new here, & I'v been reading through some of the stuff on this board trying to find anything that kinda matches my situation, but I couldn't find anything close enough. So I decided to register and ask yall myself. I'v been dating this girl for about a month in a half now. & I'm really starting to like her...alot, & I assume she feels the same, considering two days ago she said "I think I'm starting to fall in love...your just too perfect." But anyways, here's the ladscape. Were both 17, she lives a ways away from me(about an hour), & She has her licence and a car, but I dont have either. She works 6 days a week and do to my driving issue, I don't get to see her but maybe once a week, but I do call her everyday... My reason for posting is, I cant seem to gain trust in her. One reason being that, about every other day she keeps telling me about all the guys that hit on her & flirted with her, through out that day...like she's proud of it or somthin. I'm not too worried right now, but she's a senior this year, & I'm graduated so I dont go to school her school. & she's gonna be around all these dude's that live closer to her, & stuff every day. So...considering I dont get to see her very often, I dont know if she's gonna act on one of these dudes that flirts with her, or not... I dont know if i'm just really paranoid or what, but I just cant seem to gain any trust in this girl! Sorry for the long post. Any replies would be appreciated:) Thanks
Author XthreeXstrikesX Posted August 8, 2006 Author Posted August 8, 2006 Oh, & I'm gonna be leaving for NY tomorrow. & it's gonna be about 2 weeks before I can see her again... So if theres anything I should do for this girl when I get back, let me know
burning 4 revenge Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Let me tell you kid, just keep following your own advice. If you feel you can't trust her, don't. Don't be a sucker
Walk Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Honestly, I'd talk to her about it. She might be bringing it up because she's desperately scared she'll lose you. Thinking that if she reminds you that other men find her desirable and want her, then you'll want her. To keep you chasing after her.. Especially if she said she thinks she's falling in love with you, because you're too perfect. I would tend to believe she's feeling really insecure and it's a subconcious act. You could attempt flat out honesty. Lay the cards on the table and see where they fall. Tell her it makes you feel like you can't trust her, etc. etc.. and that you would like to be able to but her mentioning getting hit on all the time isn't helping. Or try a more flattering approach. Say "I know you're hot, and I know other men think you're hot, but I don't want to hear about how other men were hitting on you, I just want to concentrate on you." I'd think you'd want to hit a mix between expressing your deep desire to be with her, while establishing that you don't want to hear every instance of a guy flirting with her. At least at this stage of the relationship. If it carries on, and she's still doing this months into the relationship... then maybe she has some issues you're ignoring... Could be attention seeking behavior, low self-esteem she's attempting to shore up by any man's attention.. Just keep your eyes open, and don't let lust blind you. If she doesnt' cool it after you talk to her... then really take an unbiased look at the whole package and if you see any red flags waving... it might save you some heartache down the road to let her pass to the next. But at this early stage, it could just be insecurity with the solidity of the relationship, same as you are feeling.
Author XthreeXstrikesX Posted August 8, 2006 Author Posted August 8, 2006 Thanks alot guys, I'll try talking to her about it first...then we'll see. Yall are definitely a big help! Thank you...
moman Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Give her a taste of her own medicine. Subtly mention how 'x' girl talked to you yesterday, etc. My bet is she will be very quiet. Telling her that you are upset about her talking about other guys will not get you the results you want. Personally, she doesn't sound too interested if she is talking about other guys.
Walk Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Give her a taste of her own medicine. Subtly mention how 'x' girl talked to you yesterday, etc. My bet is she will be very quiet. Telling her that you are upset about her talking about other guys will not get you the results you want. Personally, she doesn't sound too interested if she is talking about other guys. Yeah, this would probably work, but why pull out a big gun when a polite 'no thank you' might work. It'd be better to guage how and if she responds to a direct request for her to tone it down, rather than drop to the level of vindictiveness first. It'd tell you a lot more about what kind of person she is on the inside, and if that would be the kind of person you want in your life. If she doesn't respect you enough to honor your request, then she doesn't deserve to be in your life.
Tenorman Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 If a woman ever says you're "too perfect" start being cautious. It may be an expression of insecurity on her part or that there is something about her that she thinks you will not accept but in my experience it is a signal for testing times ahead, with you being the one tested.
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