Good Girl Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 So about 3 1/2 months ago I was introduced to this guy. I wasn't excpecting anything to go on for as long as it did. I had just gotten out of a relationship 2 months before that (it was a very very bad relationship) and he had just gotten out of one just a few weeks before that. But we immediately hit it off. He started calling me every night to say good night, we hung out a lot. I started staying at his house at least 3 out of the 7 nights of the week (however we never have sex..still haven't). About a month into it, his issues with his ex girlfriend started surfacing. He wasn't over her...but then he still wanted me around. I appreciated the honesty. He said he didn't want to be with her, it was just an ego thing. He would tell me he really liked me, thought I was hot, would want to see me, talk to me, etc. In the mist of all this he started drinking a lot ( I dunno if he was always like this, but just started to get comfortable, so I started to see how he was). Pretty much if he was at work, he was at home drinking or out drinking. But things were starting to look up with us, I thought. We had never established what we were...but I think we both just knew we were "dating". I would hang out with him and his friends and in front of his friends he would be totally into me, his friends would be totally cool with me, get to know me, etc. A member of his family told me that "He thinks differently of you than he has anyone else and has a lot of respect for you", at a party once he went around asking everyone "Dont' we make the cutest couple". After that night I thought, it has been 3 months, I think I need to tell him how I feel because maybe both of us are just being shy in not saying anything and that is why nothing is moving forward. So I wrote him and email and told him. It wasn't gushy, it just got straight to the point. His response was that "if that is how I feel, I would never be happy in this situation" and " Anything he had to say, I didn't want to hear". So immediately I am heart broken. He told me he just felt uncomfortable now. I didn't get it, what he was saying, and how he had been acting around me and everything everyone else was saying were contradicting. He still called me the next couple nights like usual. One night that weekend, I ran into his friend, and we were talking and he told me that this guy really does care about me, but he has so many issues that he doesnt' even know what is going on with him anymore. He puts up a front. Early last week, I saw him...that was the first time I saw him in almost 2 weeks. I didnt' know how to act...but he was acting like he always did again...seemed so happy to see me...and I just immediately felt the way I always do around him...genuinely content. Happy, like nothing else in the world matter. That is just the way he makes me feel. Well, the rest of the week he didnt' call me. He picked up the phone when I called him, and returned my text msgs...but didnt' call. He was out of town this past weekend, I thought he would call me when he got home, but didn't. See the phone call thing throws me off because he ALWAYS would call me and ALWAYS would return my phone calls within the hour. Well, last night he finally called me, but I missed the call. I called him back and hour later...didn't answer. Call another hour later..didnt' answer. At first I didn't think much of it...then I woke up at 3am and just had to know if he was at home or if someone was at his house. So I drove over there ( that is so not me either, I would never ever do that...but I had to know...) so his car wasn't there. It was a Monday night...where the hell would he be? All I could think of was that he was with some other girl at her house. Make sense right? I mean, he hasn't been calling me like he use to. Didn't answer the phone when I called him back (and it was only like 10pm). But then all I can think of is that just last week I saw him and everything seemed fine...maybe he didn't pick up the phone to call me after that night, but he answered when I called. The funny thing is he is always asking me if I hate him..or how much i hate him. When I saw him last week..he asked me that 3 times. If he didnt' care, why would he act like that. It seems like everything changed after that letter...and that was just 2weeks ago! I dont' understand why everyone would say the things they said..he would act the way he did...and then be pushed away by that letter??? I really like him alot, really care about him and is someone I can really see a future with. If everyone said he realy cares about me, and thinks differently of me and blah blah, why is he running from me? Finding someone else maybe?? My friend thinks he is on drugs, I dunno. I am so hurt though...I dunno if I can even cry anymore because I have cried so much. But it hurts so bad. I just want to be with him..if that takes time because he isn't ready..fine...but he can't even be up front with me. Now he seems to be pushing me away. Why would he want to keep me around..it isn't for sex..so why has he this whole time?? I sleep in his bed all the time..talk to him all the time. He claims he doesn't want to hurt me, so that is why we dont' have sex. So is that because he knows he isn't ready for commitment so he doesn't want to hurt me because he does care about me? I am so confused...
a4a Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 OMG I so did try to read this massive blob of letters, but I went cross eyed and got a headache......try to break it up into paragraphs.
Recommended Posts