Guest Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 First off, we've been married for 15+ years. A little over 2 years ago, I caught him IMing one of his old girlfriends (actually they didn't really date, just slept together a couple of times). I managed to get into his messenger and set it so that I could read their IMs. In one IM she asks if I know she's divorced and in a previous one she says that she's happily married. (Which is it?!?) From what I read, it sounded like they were on the verge of having cyber-sex, but he swears that they didn't. A couple of days after I confronted him with it, he broke down (this is not like him at all, he normally holds everything in) he was crying and got physically sick. He e-mailed her and told her not to e-mail him again and told her that I knew everything. Last week she e-mailed him at work. He came home and told me about it. I knew that something was wrong from the way he was acting. He said that he didn't even read it all, just deleted it. I asked him to forward it to me when he went back to work, but he said that he deleted it all the way. Well when he went back to work today, he had another e-mail from her saying that "M knows and is threatening to inform J, sorry". He actually came home from work (which is not like him either!) to tell me about it. He swears that he hasn't been in touch with her since their whatever-it-was 2 years ago. I want so bad to believe him and trust him, but am so scared of getting my heart broken again. (He swears that he has never had an affair.) He did forward the e-mail to me and I replied to her asking her what M wanted to inform me of and that if she was woman enough she would tell me herself. Well of course I haven't heard from her, not that I expect to either. She is a gutless **tch, she kept asking my husband (2 years ago) if I knew where she lived. What like I'm going to drive across the country just to confront her!?! Also, when we first got married, she wrote several letters to my husband talking about how much she missed him and wished that things were different. She was married to M at the time. I finally told my husband that if he got one more letter from her, I was going to send it her husband so that he could see what he had gotten involved with. To my knowledge, my husband didn't reply to her letters. We did go to counselling 2 years ago to work through this and things have been really great between us, up until now. I'm so scared to believe what he's telling me, but I really do want to. How do I know that I can trust him when he says that he hasn't been in touch with her and that she's the one that's trying to stay in touch with him?
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