hyakku Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Alright, guys, haven't seen y'all in a while how's life going? Anyway, I was on another site and a post came up that got me thinking. Anyway, I ant female opinions on this, as well as guy's so come one come all. I'm gonna direct quote myself from the other site, so some of it might be generalizations (it was targetted to a specific crowd over there), but I'll try to edit that part to make it encompass a larger audience over here: Keep in mind, this was about approaching women, and in response to the OP I typed this up. He had basically said that all those tactics David D and mystery etc make are all bull**** and its about sincerity and being genuine. I agreed with him but I want some more opinions (and I'm sure if I get a change to show him he'll like them as well). By the way for those who don't know AFC = average frustrated chump in the seduction community. Anyway: I think that when you are interested in getting to know a person, behind the persona, behind the social barriers they (women) are FORCED to put up because of AFCs in power (you know, those who term the coins slut (women have sexual desires just as men, yet its frowned upon? Why?) , etc), that you can open up an ENTIRELY new world of communication. I enjoy it the most seeing a smile light up the face of a omwan, not because I used some line, but because we are both genuinely interested in EACH OTHER. Sometimes the anticipation of looking into a woman's eyes feels like death, then I realize that life is so short and precious, that to enjoy every second and make connections with all types of people is the best way to succeed. That's why I don't believe in sexism, racism, etc, because only fools would possibly limit themselves from meeting people. I think you guys should realize that every single woman you meet is unique. She has her own positives and her own flaws. Isn't that ****ing great guys? That means no matter how many times you cold approach, no matter how many women you meet, there's always another secret, another quirk about someone else to laugh about and ENJOY. I think the message that we need to shut down our emotions and be cool and calm all the time is bull****. Happiness, sadness, pain, are all just metaphors of a sort. They are used to let you know that you are alive, and emotion is the conveyor of this message. When you are 100% honest with a woman and you can say, "Hey, I'm not sure what exactly to say, but you are fantastically beautiful and I couldn't miss a chance to meet you", and you are speaking honestly the woman will appreciate and reciprocate this feeling. See what AFCs don't realize is that they have been going about it the wrong way. The nervousness, fear, etc, are all there because they KNOW they aren't being honest, they aren't looking to have a connection, they are looking for a girlfriend, or to get laid, or a **** buddy, and that's not what being social is about. Meeting women should be a love, it should be a passion. And the woman should FEEL your passion when you are speaking and communicating, because she should know that you are interested in HER as a person, not to get laid. And why AREN'T you guys interested in her as a person? You are worse than the "AFCs" you try not to be, conning women and tricking them into bed so you can validate yourselves and be more manly. Its a privelege to get to know a woman, to know her inner secrets, her embarassing moments, what makes her laugh, cry, smile and angry. That means she TRUSTS you enough to let you into her world, something that not every guy gets to see, and then you guys want to go and **** it up with your pick up artist techniques and tricks to exploit her weakness. The OP is right, it's about passion, its about being GENUINE, and its about honesty. So what do you think? I personally feel that's the way it should be, when I abandoned those techniques and tricks and BS I learned from the "Pick up artists" and got honest, things feel into place, they felt legitimate, they felt right. I think that it distinguishes the wusses from men, not because wusses are too soft, but men can communicate THEIR passion, while still carrying themselves with integrity, respect, and instilling trust into a woman. I keep thinking I need to type one last sentence but I dont....or do I?
Outcast Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Dude, I swear you need to set up shop as a guru. Buy a fake beard so you'll look older You are SO right. Women have pretty highly-evolved BS detectors and it is SO boring and annoying to have somebody try 'tactics' on you. You might attract some of the shallower sorts with 'strategies' but that's only good if that's the type you enjoy hanging with. You don't need another sentence. It's excellent
alphamale Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 You are SO right. Women have pretty highly-evolved BS detectors and it is SO boring and annoying to have somebody try 'tactics' on you. Thats why the smart dude get's 'em drunk first
Infinity0530 Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Wow, I would like to hear more opinions from females as well on whether or not this is really true. I certainly have fallen into the category of guy's who have looked online to find certain "strategies" or find the best "tactic" to meet women in different areas, but whenever I get an opportunity to try them I usually chicken out because I feel even more uncomfortable trying them than I would otherwise. I would love to be able to walk up to a girl I thought looked cute and was genuinely interested in and tell her that in all honesty, but I mean, does that actually work? Sounds a bit too good to be true :-)
blind_otter Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I would love to be able to walk up to a girl I thought looked cute and was genuinely interested in and tell her that in all honesty, but I mean, does that actually work? Sounds a bit too good to be true :-) It doesn't work for me when a man comes up to me saying they're "interested" in me because I always assume they mean "interested in sex". I agree with hyakku, though. For me I respond when a man is genuinely interested in me as a person. And in turn, I tend to go for men that fascinate me. Have interesting things to talk about, have experienced interesting things. Have interesting points of view, even if they are different from mine. Someone who has something to teach me, and is willing to learn from me as well. A genuine connection, ya know.
Author hyakku Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 Wow, I would like to hear more opinions from females as well on whether or not this is really true. I certainly have fallen into the category of guy's who have looked online to find certain "strategies" or find the best "tactic" to meet women in different areas, but whenever I get an opportunity to try them I usually chicken out because I feel even more uncomfortable trying them than I would otherwise. I would love to be able to walk up to a girl I thought looked cute and was genuinely interested in and tell her that in all honesty, but I mean, does that actually work? Sounds a bit too good to be true :-) Wow man I had a huge post written up and somehow I deleted it, but I've got time in my office so let's see if I can remember it all: First off, always look your best. Get a hairstyle to go with your headshape, stay in great hygeine, work out some if you aren't satisfied with your body (keyword YOU, not someone else), and optionally pick up acua di Gio, you'll smell sexy, trust me . Also, take a friend that's a girl shopping and ask her to dress you. All these things show that you care about YOURSELF, and if you care about yourself, chances are you will care about her (at least in theory, doesn't always work out that way). Second, the attitude. A passion for life. That's it. Love everything you do, because you choose to do it. Follow your dreams, have some strong interesting hobbies that YOU are interested in (hobbies is a funny word heh), and have and achieve goals. Its called ambition, not only is it attractive but it builds the most important thing. CONFIDENCE. Everyone is always talking about confidence, but no one says how to get it. Well thats it, its about setting goals, achieving them, and being totally satisfied with self, but constantly improving. That builds true confidence. Get out there adn meet people, have fun, the main thing is be PASSIONATE, that's what this post was about. Remember when you were a kid? That crazy energy you had? You lived to run, jump, laugh play and enjoy life? Don't ever lose that spark. Don't fall into the trap of being overly Mature, AKA Boring. No one is saying don't be mature, but so many guys confuse that with BORING. I'm sure you've seen the guys that act overly cool, or overly tough, these are usually the guys who AREN'T getting laid, don't let that fool you. Use that childish energy for FUN, and let the woman enjoy it with you. When you were kids, ALL you wanted to do was just enjoy life. No one wanted to discuss religion and politics (not that they aren't great to discuss), they wanted to LIVE. You ever been around one of those guys thats constantly smiling, having a good time, and just throws off that great vibe? It's INFECTIOUS, everyone has a great time around him. So let loose, and show women that you love to LIVE life. Which is another thing, show don't say. Saying I love you ten times a day isn't going to go as far as SHOWING it. Use romance as a spice, not all the time, otherwise it gets kinda dull. Use it to surprise her, do it when its unexpected, just because you felt like it. It's about being genuine. Finally with women, realize that every single woman is unique, every one. That means you will never meet the same personality, attitude, etc twice. Isn't that great? that means there's always a surprise, so show that to women, let that come across in your beliefs, attitudes and speech etc. Which means don't just give cheap compliments that you don't mean. Compliment her on things that no one else notices, the things that they work on personally and are proud of. A hand made necklace, a new tatoo, things that have value to them, and things you actually find interesting. So many guys are just looking to get laid or get a girlfriend and they all say the same things, "Nice purse, I really like it". I heard a funny thing once that I keep in mind all the time. Some guy was talking and he said, "Don't give a cheap compliment, I mean think about it. How ****ing cool would that purse have to be for you to walk over to the most hideous, revolting, evil woman you could find and say that? If its not that cool, DON'T say it". I think thats a great example though, if its not so interesting that you wouldn't say it to someone you find repulsive, why would you say it to someone you find attractive? To be honest, this entire game I think can be summed up in two words, Passionate and Genuine. anyway Its cold in this office, if I can remember what Else I wrote I'll tell you. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t93473/ Read that, and also the responses, you'll see that with the help of alot of the posters in that thread being a man was refined alot more than in just my original post.
Sonic_chaos Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 fantastic post and advice there man. Ive always hated the cheesy chat up lines and such, but have never found anything else that i could use just to go up and say hey.. i know women hate them, even i hate them but like you say.. Why beat around the bush.. tell them genuinely how they look to you, as you will describe someone different to someone else.. and the nervousness is just something you associate with excitment of meeting someone you dont know... jeez, just a complete different way of looking at it. always been there, just different!
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