Camelot Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 To make a real long story short, I fell really hard for a guy who I was with for about 9 mos or so. I became physically addicted to him, as in no one else I was ever with in my life was as good a lover as he was. And like most of them ( That I've seen) he is a lying cheat. I ended things for good when I found out he was trying to get back with an ex girlfriend while he was still with me. Here's the problem. I can not get him out of my head. He's a compulsive liar, a cheat and a manipulator. And he will not let me move on and forget about him. He calls me, comes to my work and text messages me all when I've told him over and over not to. I've tried totally ignoring him, then he'll leave me a voicemail or text claiming that I am a hateful person and if I loved him like I said I did, how can I ignore him? I am not afraid of him, so I'm not calling the cops. he doesnt even want to be with me sexually. He said that he cant take the emotional trauma that I cause him. He thinks he can go to the ex girlfriends house and sleep with me too, and that I am supposed to be ' ok' with that, and not cause him any emotional trauma over it. he will call me and have the nerve to tell me that he was just leaving the ex girlfriends house, that he went out with her, etc. Yet he insists this woman wont have anything to do with him again sexually, that they are just friends. This has messed up my head so bad, even though he's hurt me over and over I cant stand the thought of him wanting this other woman and not me. When i know they are together, my stomach hurts and I can feel my blood burn and I just want to scream. I know he isnt any good, yet I still cant help desiring him. I've dated another guy in this time and have cringed when he touched me because he wasnt ' him.' I just want to stop wanting this guy and move on with my life. I dont know how to forget him and everything we had. I've never had this problem before, men have came and went, but this one is sticking.
Returning Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Hi Camelot, For sure you're not mental or going mental. Try browsing some of the threads on this site to see if it rings any bells http://www.suite101.com/discussions.cfm/npd/6005-6024 He could have somantic narcissist traits, in which case you need to get into No Contact and establish what was crazy making and what was real. If the site doesn't apply you're doing the right thing establishing boundries and staying away from him anyway. He should cherish you and respect your wishes. tc Returning
The slayer Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 From what you say Camelot it doesn't sound like there is anything at all wrong with your mental health. It looks like you are feeling torn between missing the good sex and feeling extremely angry with your ex for treating you with no respect and then trying to make out it is all your faut for causing him "Emotional Trauma" add a little jealousy into the mix ( him wanting her and not you) and you have a perfectly rational explanation for how you are feeling. It will take you a while to get over him and feel you want to be touched by someone else, but I am certain that you will. Changing your phone no if possible might really help. He might realise you really mean it and you will protect yourself from unwanted texts and voicemails. Best of luck
Outcast Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Tell the people at work to tell him to leave if he appears. Do not accept his messages. Implement call block or screen your calls. And you may not want to call the cops, but if he will not stop bothering you, that is still stalking and still illegal even if the person will never kill you. It is the disturbing of one's peace that's illegal.
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