MazzyStar Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 My husband has filed for divorce. Even though its painful, its for the best. I have never gone through a divorcce and I am not sure if this is how someone should act. We have children, I have been a stay at home mom. He left and had all the utilities turned off. He got an apartment but has left me with a huge mortgage, and has not given me any money. I need to pay the utilities, mortgage (which I have borrowed money for) and food. I did get an attorney, but the court process is so slow. I wonder if normal people act this way? What can I do? I have applied for jobs but have not heard back, I will continue to do so. Can I go on assistance? I dont want to but I am so lost. Does anyone have an idea of what I can do. He has ignored the kids, and I hear he has a new girlfriend.
paperazzi Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 What is happening to you actually happens quite a bit, unfortunately. I don't know why ex's choose to behave that way - I'm going through it myself right now(and my first ex did exactly the same kind of thing, too!). It's scary, infuriating and terribly painful. Yes, the court process is dreadfully slow. You need to prepare yourself in other ways; finding a job is a good move, although then you will need daycare and can you afford that? Your ex will, of course, be responsible for child support, spousal support and child care but that will take time and you will have to be careful with your expenses. Don't be ashamed to get social assistance; that's what it's there for and it will get you over the hump. You are dealing with a huge loss, a change in income, fear for the future, possible change in residence and daily routine, a distressed child. Try to minimize the damage by taking care of yourself FIRST, and put your pride on the backburner. You're going to need all the energy and strength that you have left to heal yourself and help your kids deal with this, too. It sounds like this process is just started for you. Not having to worry about the basics like food and bills will go a long way in helping you focus and prepare for the crap that's about to come down. Hang in there and try to think of this as a really s****y rollercoaster ride that you have to see through to the end. It will get better (I know because I've been there before)!
superconductor Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Happens all the time. It's a long haul, too, unless the divorce is uncontested. Paperazzi is right about social assistance too. That's exactly why it's there. You'll get through this, and we're here to help.
tinktronik Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Go get social assistance , they can help pry your Husbands fingers off his wallet , at least concerning the kids .Thats your first step. Your attorney should be able to get to court sooner rather than later because of the situation with no money bills due and kids to feed .Also if you don't jointly bank you are still entitled to a portion of whats garnered from the marriage , your attorney could also use the excuse that he's spending your share away to get into court earlier. Don't wait for him to act , act first.
P1xie Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Churches are a good source to get food quickly. You should have no problem with foods because food stamps are hardly ever denied if a person is not working and especially if there are children involved. It is a quick process too.
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