sickkitty Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 i went out for a drink fri night with my ex and we had a really good time then his sister came to pick him up and they invited me back for a drink it was getting late and his sister said i could stay. well i ended up sleeping in his bed, he was touching, kissing holding me and the nxt morning we had a shower together and ended up having sex! If u have read any of my posts i found out he had started cing a girl who fancied him 1 week after we broke up, but he kept denying it and said they were mates. Any way when i got home he called me and said he felt guilty for what he had done and he didnt want to use me for sex, he wants me to be a big part of his life as a friend. Then he said would i still want to c him as a friend if he was dating someone. I said why who r u planning 2 date? And he turned around and said "i think u already no" i am deverstated i really thought after that nite we would get back 2gether now i am right back where i started! He new how much this would upset me. I am now back to square one i have cried more than ever these late 2 days it hurts so much, although i already new about them i think because he told me i am much more upset. I am at an altime low i dont no what to do, i no i need to move on now i just dont no how? I feel like such a fool any advice? Amanda xx
the_alchemyst Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I'm sorry to hear about this, Amanda. I ended up sleeping with my exbf (which is something I will never forgive myself for) about a week after we broke up. For us, it led to a "let's take things slowly" type of thing, but nothing worked out in the end. I ended up feeling stupid and used, and those are two terrible feelings. Do you need this? Do you want this? If not, then why are you doing this to yourself? Maybe I am angry tonight (it's 2 AM here), but seriously--just step back. Trust me when I tell you that I know what it's like to love oh, so deeply. I loved my exbf to bits; I simply adored him, and the mere thought of him not being with me devastated me. And well, the reality was worse. This man whom I loved with all the love I had ended up being a pivotal reason for the worsening of my heart condition. Thank goodness you are healthy (at least, I hope and think you are). Don't let him do this to you! Just listen to what he has to say, and let him do as he wants. If he wants to live you his fantasy of being single and/or simply dating around, then let him. He and you will see that his fantasy will not meet reality. If he wants space, give it to him. If he wants you not to call, don't call him. If he wants you to not visit, don't visit him. If he want to be friends, don't be his friend. If he wants you to call, don't call him. If he wants you to visit him, don't visit him. In short: give him what he wants--"space." Give it to him unconditionally. Don't give him anything else.
Author sickkitty Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 Thanx for ur advice ) I no what u mean, i cant believe he used me like that and to tell me an hour later he was going out with this girl (after having sex with me) makes me feel used and rejected, i dont no how some one can b so cruel Another thing that upset me was my mom, after he told me he was seeing this girl i felt ill so i went 2 sleep and in the evening i was lying on the sofa and i feel asleep and my mom said "no wonder he dumped u" i ended up storming off to bed i cnat believe my own mother would say that 2 me! Amanda xx
Walk Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Ouch! That was uncalled for!! (what your mother said) You had every right to stop right there and tell her what she said was heartless and uncalled for. This might sound cold, but your ex is an AZZ! He has sex with you and two hours later is out with this other girl that he's also having sex with? First off, I highly doubt she knows you two had sex. Second, He's playing with your LIFE!! If she had an STD, now you have it. This man you loved... does he deserve it? He put you at risk without even considering it. He took advantage of you while he KNEW you were vulnerable. He knew he was sleeping with another girl. He knows you want to get back together with him. And he knew he had no intention of getting back with you. Did he communicate any of this to you that night? He implied something that was a lie. He gave you hope, got what he wanted, and then immediately called to let you know it was a lie. What a scum bag. I'm sorry.. but this guy doesn't deserve you. I know it's easier said than done, but start repeating in your head that you deserve more!!! You deserve a hell of a lot more than this mind**** he's putting you through. He doesnt' even deserve to be your friend. Friends don't USE their friends. They don't intentionally put them in harms way. People who love you treat you with respect and dignity. HE DIDN'T! Dont' give him even an ounce of your time. The man is beneath you. Repeat after me "YOU deserve to be treated with respect and dignity." Don't be his friend, he's not yours. And don't give him another 'in', or another chance. He blew his chance. He no longer gets the priviledge of talking to you. That's what you need to keep at the fore front of your mind. He doesn't deserve YOU.
Teacher's Pet Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Wow... I'm so sorry to hear that you guys are being treated like this by your ex's....... Guys like that ruin things for guys like me. They play your hearts out until you are so burned inside that you forget what it's like to be respected..... and when a nice guy comes along, you don't know what to do...... It's really sad that guys can be that cruel to women who genuinely care about them.... My heart goes out to you both..... -tp Eternal optimist and overall nice guy (who is still madly in love with the woman who broke his heart and never looked back)
Author sickkitty Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 Thank for that WALK u r so right i do deserve better i feel so used right now the way he sounded and acted it did seem like he wanted me back he keeps saying (even now) he misses me and he still loves me , but then y hurt me they way he did, i really thought he was the 1, boy was i sooooooooooo wrong!!!! And my mum was out of order, i really have no support about from here i just feel so alone and really need some one to talk 2 right now TP u r right, no this has happened to me im scared of finding some one else in case i get hurt again or i find another B*stard its not fair and i really hope he goes though this one day and he nos how it feels!
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