littlepiggy1 Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 He's the story so far: - my ex and I broke up about, oh, 5 months ago - she got into a "rebound" relationship a month or so after we broke up, dated this guy for awhile, then dumped his ass recently - she called up me up, we talked, hung out one day even - she tells me recently she still loves me; brings up "if we got back together..." Last time we talked was a week ago. I hadn't initiated contact with her in, oh, I don't know how long. For the most part and particularly recently, it had been her. She asked if I don't call because it's still "weird". In part, yes. There is still emotion there. And the last time we had met (a few weeks ago after not seeing each other in 4 months), I had trouble getting her out of my head for days afterwards. I am about 95% certain that I don't want to get back together. We had too many issues and I've got other priorities in my life right now. I know that in the long run, it would not work out. And, quite frankly, I am enjoying this sense of "freedom" one has from being single. Of course, the other 5% is that I still have feelings for her and find myself missing her at times. She still wants to be friends. Of course, telling me that she still loves me means she obviously wants to be more than just friends. I don't want to completely cut her off. I know the whole NC bit, but she's not some crazy stalker ex who is making my life hell. And truth is, I do still like her at least. But I don't want to get back into anything and I'm worried that talking to her and most certainly, being around her would just be too complicated right now. So how do I tell her? I'm not going to just not answer the phone when she calls. That is rude and I want to be a gentleman about this. At the same time, I don't want to give any false hope. And on top of that, I don't want to hurt her, but I can't entirely control that. Advice?
Outcast Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 being around her would just be too complicated right now.I've got other priorities in my life right now. Perfect. Knit those together and use them.
johnnytable Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Of course, the other 5% is that I still have feelings for her and find myself missing her at times. I think that you should stear clear. You are doing well without her, and adding her to your life can make things really hard and complicated with very little benefit. You probably miss the relationship version of her and I have a feeling that the "friendship" version of her won't fill this void for you. You can control not giving any false hope. However, as you know you cannot control hurting her since that is on her end and she can interpret whatever you do in many different ways. If you tell her that you aren't interested in communicating with her, then that should hopefully do the trick. No false hope there. Don't give any timelines either. It is clear that you are not ready for this, so trust yourself in these feelings.
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