CarmenCbC Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Hi,guys! I am new to LoveShack.I want to share with you one of the strangest love stories ever...and a very beautiful one...which ended 3 weeks ago. 5 months ago I started talking to this guy by IM...at first it was nothing,just entertainment...just a way to make time pass...we talked like this for a couple of days...and we seemed so right for each other,we had the same way of thinking,we were so synchronized.We soon starded to also send text messages to one another...and a couple of times we even sent the same words at the same time...we were so alike... We are from different cities...3 hours distance from one another.We decided to meet after 3 weeks.It was perfect.In one month I already knew his family,I was already visiting him at his house...and spent the most perfect week-ends together.Everything was so passionate.We were so compatible.This continued for 4 months... At end of june it was my bithday.He surprized me by showing up at my place.He spent one night at my house and the second day we travelled to his town where I spent the week-end.It was great.I was so happy.The weird thing was that two weeks before this...he started to talk about our future together and the fact that he was feeling very frustrated because he didn't have me by his side all the time.And he said that he doesn't know how he will be able to hang in there until I'll finish college and move to his city.At first I didn't pay too much attention to it...I was feeling frustrated too...but I could have waited for him a lifetime. After my birthday week-end...he just asked me:" How do you see our future?" I told him I saw it as very difficult but not impossible.2 years isn't such a long time when you're in love,especially since we saw each other almost every week-end. Bu he didn't look at it this way.He said he wanted a break from the relationship to see if he misses me and if he loves me enough to wait for me for two years.I was understanding.I hoped that he would make up his mind soon...but no...he kept me hanging on for almost one month...and every time I asked him he said he couldn't reach a decision...that his mind told him one thing but his heart told him another. 3 weeks ago he told thata we had to talk because he hade made up his mind.He said the following words: " You mean a lot to me but I can't respond to your feelings the way you want me to and I don't think I'm ready to have the relationship that we discussed we'd have..." I was devastated but I didn't let go of my dignity.I told him that if that was his decision it means that he never loved me the way he should have...and that he just making up excuses for the past month.I also told him that we have nothing more to say to each other. He wanted us to be friends so he kept calling.BuT I couldn't answer because I didn't want him to hear me crying.So I asked him to stop calling because if I couldn't have his love I am not interested in his friendship.Oh...he was so annoyed...he told me that I was being selfish and imature...but he didn;t know the fact that I did him for both of us...so that we could both move on... We stopped speaking to each other...I still have him on my Yahoo messenger list...I'm staying on permanetly invisible for him...I wanted to put hin on the ignore list for a couple of times but I just couldn't...I'm not strong enough yet...but I'll do it...one of these days... Oh God...I miss him so much! My question for you guys is this: Was I selfish to deny him my friendship?Or was it the right thing to do?
allina Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 It was not selfish of you at all, you need to do what is best for you during the break-up. Also, I mean no disrespect but I really don't think this qualifies as the world's most beautiful love story.
Author CarmenCbC Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 LOL. I guess it isn't the world's most beautiful love story...but it was for me.
Nicholas Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 You were selfish to deny him your friendship, and that's a good thing. One should act in their own self-interest sometimes, and a break up is one of those times. Don't let him manipulate you. Tell him you don't want to be his friend. Stay selfish. By the way, it's certainly not immature. It takes an incredible amount of maturity to do most of what you did, and if you delete him from your list and tell him to stop calling now, you'll be in a lot better shape.
allina Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 LOL. I guess it isn't the world's most beautiful love story...but it was for me. Aww, well hopefully another one will come along for you that will blow this one away and end well, or not end at all actually.
Author CarmenCbC Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 Antoher thing is that I'm still best friends with his sister.And she's always telling me that he's asking about me and wants to know if I'm ok.That's a bit condescending of him.He's assuming I'm NOT doing ok because of the break up.I told his sister to never answer any of his questions...but I don't know,I think it's best if I break contact with her too for a while...so I burn all the bridges.
Nicholas Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 It's not even bridge-burning, it's just prudence. It's clear you can't expect her to be your friend in this situation. He seems to be the immature one. Let them both go.
Author CarmenCbC Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 I am definitely trying.It's hard,but I'm on my way there.As much as I loved this guy...he specifically told me that he doesn't love me...u know...that b/s about "I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you..." I don't need this.When I love completely,I expect being completely loved back.
the_alchemyst Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 You should definitely break off contact with his sister, at least for a while, until you feel comfortable. And please keep on doing what you are doing. You seem like a very strong girl, and I commend you greatly for that; you kept your dignity and respect during a time when it is specifically hard to do you. I know I wasn't courageous enough to retain my composture like you did. Your attitude is inspiring.
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