Possibly a break up?

[killercards]

Okay, It's been about Month and a couple days since I been with my girlfriend. It has been good but could be better since we work at the same place. Thats going to change, I found another job. Okay Well I have beem the "sensitive one in this relationship. I am very perceptive as far as cheating goes. Which that question was asked by me. I asked her if she would every cheat on me and she said no way and she said I hurt her feelings really bad. I said sorry and all that and she excepted it. She told me she ok, we're okay everything is ok, I'm still hurt she said. Well I have been noticing even before that coversation she seemed more like avoiding me, she seems to have planned something with her family or she is always doing stuff with co workers. I email her and she never replies anymore. I message her on myspace, She never replies, Only to see she has been logged on and she messaged one of her co worker friends and nope not me.. What the hell is up with this? Maybe she wants space between us? What should I do? Perhaps this is a sign of a break up???? How could I prevent a break up?? Please help thanks

[nicki]

It's been one month since you have spent any time with her or really spoken with her?

 

That's not a good sign. It sounds like you two are already on a "break" or even broken up in her mind.

 

If that's the case, she over-reacted to your question. It was just your insecurity and sensitivity. She should have reassured you that she would never cheat. Ask you why you thought that. Ask you if youthought she has she been doing anything that make you question her fidelity, etc.....

 

In short, you two should have had a little talk, then end of story. Then gone on as usual.

 

Some women can't handle sensitive guys because they are afraid of the feelings that it brings up in themselves. Like their own insecurity, powerlessness, etc....that's her problem. Be glad she's distancing herself. It takes a strong person to admit and deal with their true emotions.

 

But it can be a tricky balance.

 

I know I dated a very sensitive guy. While I loved it in some ways, he was always upset. I felt like I had to be strong and I wanted to be more sensitive. It came down to a question of balance.

 

Sometimes one partner will become one overly one way because their partner isn't that way at all. For instance, my ex hubbie never shared feelings so I was always talking about my feelings, to excess.

 

When I was with Mr. Sensitive, he talked so much about his feelings that I never did. Now I'm with someone who is more in the middle, and so am I.

We're balanced as a couple, although I do talk a bit more about feelings than he does....but it works well.

 

Anyway, it's good you are getting a job somewhere else. Maybe you could date someone more compatible that would compliment you.

 

Ignore her. A good girlfriend wouldn't just freeze you out. She would have talked with you about what was going on in her head and heart.

 

If her reason is that she is hurt you asked if she would cheat, then she is not worth your time. Everyone worries about that at one point in their relationship. Unless you asked her everyday with no reason, then you had every right to express your fear.

 

We all want to be loved for who we truly are, fears and all.

 

Next time around, be sure to show that you can balance strength and emotion. Show that you are in touch with your feelings, but able to take necessary action in strong and capable way to take care of yourself.

 

And right now, that would mean moving on from a woman who is clearly ignoring you.

[nicki]

Wow, sorry that was so long. Didn't mean to ramble.