leopardprint Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Do you think in some instances, the dumper is so comfortable talking and staying intouch with the dumpee, because they see the dumpee's hurt and know that the dumpee still wants, cares, loves, and longs for them? Kinda like, an ego booster? Thoughts?
CarmenCbC Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 Either that or it's a method of relieving thier own feeling of guilt.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 By the time the breakup happens, the hardest part is already over for the dumper. They have taken time to fall out of love and go through the breakup process - and by the time that breakup happened, they had already sorted out much of the hard emotional parts - the guilt, the hurt, etc. Unfortunately, the breakup is still raw and painful for the dumpee who usually didn't even see it coming (the dumper tends to hide the falling out of love process until its too late). When the dumper comes back after the breakup, its to revisit nostalgic things after the pain has settled for them. The dumpee is usually still right there in that pain though, making it that much harder when the dumper wants to come around and revisit some of what they remember as 'good'. Is it an ego boost? Perhaps, but by the time they broke up with the dumpee they didn't want to be wanted or loved anymore by that person. They just wanted out. I think its more of a sorting process. The breakup sorted out the undesirable parts of the relationship, while a friendship after the breakup would still allow for the desireable parts of the relationship. Unfortunately, the dumpee is way behind the dumper in this emotional process, so while the dumper is thinking 'friends', the dumpee is still dealing with painful 'romantic/love' type feelings that the dumper has long left behind.
Guest Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Well I would say that they might feel bad that they hurt someone like that but let's face it, the dumper is moving on for something else. Not always do people get closure and in my case I think it would have helped me more, however life does go on and there are bigger and better futures out there for all of us right?! Heck yeah! My dumper at least gave me a hung before he went out the door and I guess that was his way of saying goodbye without saying it, but reality is that we can live to be 100 and just never figure people out.
Ukwizard Posted August 8, 2006 Posted August 8, 2006 Do you think in some instances, the dumper is so comfortable talking and staying intouch with the dumpee, because they see the dumpee's hurt and know that the dumpee still wants, cares, loves, and longs for them? Kinda like, an ego booster? What I know is that my ex dumped me, and texted me, and emailed me to check to see if I was okay. Now to some people, they tend to believe that the dumper is checking up to what he/she has done is okay, and reassuring themselves that it was okay to leave. Like what Carmen said: Either that or it's a method of relieving thier own feeling of guilt.
Recommended Posts