TiredandFrustrated Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I am 33, tall, somewhat attractive, a very good guy, good earner, and a completely committed husband. I've never dreamed of cheating on my wife and all I want is to do is love her and acheive good things in life with her for the rest of my days. But she is making it difficult - she's not interested in sex, was flirting with a married man, and who knows what else. I know the advice I'm going to get from the board. I just want to say if you are a man or woman out there who is cheating on your significant other, end the marriage NOW. Put the man or woman who loves you out of their pathetic misery. Let them move on. Better for you all to pass boldy through life than to fade to grey in a marriage that does not fulfill you.
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I hope your wife stops with the MM and starts going to marriage counselling with you. Does she know you know?
Author TiredandFrustrated Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 I've questioned her on this other guy so much I want to scream as much as she does, but each time she talks she reveals something new and all the signs are there. If it's flirting for the excitement fine (I'll go ahead and do the same and see how she likes it - but that's so trite). If it was more, I want to know now and not after I invest good years of my life in the marriage. I want friendship and trust and deep, committed love. I've never experienced this before pre-marriage with her, or another girl, and I hate it. HATE IT.
Author TiredandFrustrated Posted August 7, 2006 Author Posted August 7, 2006 PS Thank you for listening and the replies...
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 You're welcome. How long have you been married? Kids? Look, she's still doing something she shouldn't be doing...It's affecting you, the marriage and how she IS at home. She is enjoying the flirting TOO much and starting to need to rely on it to keep her feeling good. Almost like a drug. Which, then, makes her "thinking" not so clear and not rational... She's defensive and making sure YOU know that it's nothing...Yeah, that's a red flag. Have you met this guy? Is he married as well? Why not ALL of you get together and go for dinner. If there is nothing going on between them, it won't be a big deal, right?
whichwayisup Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 I want friendship and trust and deep, committed love That is why people get married. To have that, forever. (Or until death.)
Guest Posted August 9, 2006 Posted August 9, 2006 Does your wife realise how lucky she is to have a man who cares, is faithfull and wants to make it work? Speaking from experience - and I know this wont be easy - but could you decide to be satisfied with NOT knowing the full extent as to what happened, and just dealing with the here and now and the future? End the questioning, tell her that whatever it was between them has to be over, NC and no more chanmces, and move on together, leaving this man behind in the past. Well done for not retaliating with similar behaviour. I did and it just makes things 10x worse. Good luck and best wishes.
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