Sonic_chaos Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 How long after a break up could be considered good after breaking up with someone? Is it dependant on the person/circumstances etc? Even tho you dont feel its ready to move on is it as well to do it to take your mind off it? Similar things thats been said to be before about people being on the "rebound" and im not sure if its a good way to take your mind off the break up, *over the worst but still keeps nibbling away at me* just to get back in the saddle straight away. i dont wanna lead someone on, altho i dont believe i would. Its sorta a carry on from this thread some time ago, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t93171/ come back off holiday and being fully refreshed ive thought about getting back into it. Not forgetting her completely as i couldnt just like that. dont think many could just flick a switch and it be ok?! thanks
Chinook Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Not sure. It's been a while for me and I'm still not ready. I think what you have to be sure about is not taking any related baggage (or more than necessary) into the new relationship. What I did was totally unfair on new guy. I was still in love with my ex partner. So consequently, the new guy never stood a chance. That's pretty bad... but at least I realised what was happening and ended it before anything really serious had happened. Having said that, alot of people advocate someone new to take your mind off the previous relationship... has worked for my ex partner..!! and he doesn't seem to be on the rebound I don't think. Depends upon whether you're ready and what you're looking for. I'd say stay clear of serious stuff for a while but no harm in dating and being up front about that.
Author Sonic_chaos Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 well i was gonna give this online dating a bash but wasnt sure about pulling out the readies and in effect just wasting it. the going out at night thing is only once in a while,not because im an outcast or something just dont get out alot, due to work and not many friends being available anymore. "all being in a relationship" and when we do go out i dont normally get involved too much apart from eye contact flirting as i want to drink, and me, drink and talking dont go well lol.. i care for her loads always will, i thought i loved her but ive let go from that thought. As the magic has gone.
Chinook Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 well i was gonna give this online dating a bash but wasnt sure about pulling out the readies and in effect just wasting it. the going out at night thing is only once in a while,not because im an outcast or something just dont get out alot, due to work and not many friends being available anymore. "all being in a relationship" and when we do go out i dont normally get involved too much apart from eye contact flirting as i want to drink, and me, drink and talking dont go well lol.. i care for her loads always will, i thought i loved her but ive let go from that thought. As the magic has gone. Oh man, I wish I didn't know what you mean. I refuse to try online dating because I tried it before now and every single person I came across was either desperate or a weirdo. Strange but true. I dunno, sometimes the internet scene gives people a license to be who they want to be rather than who they are and for me, I can't often tell who is who! The last guy I dated turned out to be married with two children and he was absolutely gob-smacked when I found out and ended the relationship. Had he never heard of the word "trust"..? Gah! Anyhow, I'm ranting. Yeah, I know what you mean about all your friends being in relationships and being married. I'm the same. I'm the only singleton in my social circle so not only do I not go out much but I also feel a bit of a freak when I do go out because everyone else is in couples..!! Today I decided to go out for lunch... by myself to a local pub. Had lunch in the pub whilst reading a book. I could see out the corner of my eye all the nearby tables people looking my way and the waitresses being overly polite. Was relieved to leave to be honest. Won't be doing that again. So... pretty much not sure what to advise as for putting yourself into social situations. Try joining a gym or going to a local group or class that you like. I'm going to join a gym when I free up some cash in October. Then I'm going to join a local running club. Maybe. As for your girl... well, you sound like you're accepting the situation which is half the battle. Took me a long time to get to that place. Some times, moving on is well... about just moving on. Good luck.
Author Sonic_chaos Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 thanks for your input.. joining the gym is a good idea, altho im thinking of getting into swimming again after finding how unfit i am in the hotel pool plus, its really worked wonders for my upper body strength with the resistance of the water. Anyway back on topic Yep i totally understand, it happens everywhere. even at the hotel, someone was having lunch on there own and lots of people just kept looking like to say,"oo your eating on your own" like does it matter? Altho personally i dont think i could go on holiday myself on my own for that reason. maybe its just a break from the normality more then anything else. ive had to accept it, even tho i didnt want too. doesnt stop me thinkin about her but there has been some sound advice put out from people like yourself on the forum and they have just outlined what really i couldnt see. She was a little princess that stomped her feet if she didnt get what she wanted. relationships need give and take both ways, not just me giving in all the time because its too much trouble to argue etc. it was me putting in the effort, ie me traveling, being used as a taxi with her mates.. i cant stand for that.. anyway. there is someone out there for everyone. just knowing where online dating thing was also my fear too. and i dont wanna be put off by it,. it can be a tool to open up new intresting people but like you say there are alot of people that abuse the systems to get more and more, even if they all ready have what they are lookin for.. wrong but its the way it goes.
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