CheerinJade Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 My daughter is 10 1/2 years old. She has had Katie as her very good girlfriend for 3 or 4 years now. Katie has spend countless hours with our family and gone many places with us. She is a good kid but some some family issues and junk in her life. Her parents are divorced, her mom brings different guys home a lot, her dad just remarried, she has 3 other siblings not all from the same dad, she is shuffled from mom, dad, babysitters houses. About 3 or 4 weeks ago, one day after she has spent the night over at our house, my daughter, Jade noticed that her cell phone (my old cell phone that has no service right now) was missing. She knew that Katie had been playing with it in her room so she called to ask if she knew where it was. Katie said that she left it in a certain drawer, Jade looked and it was not there. We looked everywhere for the phone and did not find it. After this, I started thinking about a sweatshirt that she had borrowed from Jade and knew that she did not return it. I asked Jade and she said she would ask Katie about it. She asked her and Katie said that she did not have it. I know this was a lie, because I remember dropping her off at her home and she still had it on. I had passed the sweatshirt thing off as nothing, but when the cell phone thing came up, I got worried. We waited about 3 weeks and I did not let Jade do much with Katie at this time as I had some suspicions about what was going on with her. It was wearing on Jades mind so she decided to call Katie and confront her about it. Jade asked if she had the sweatshirt and phone and Katie got a little huffy-voiced and said "no, I dont have either one, I looked and dont have them" Jade was upset and crying after she got off the phone with her. Katie called back about 10 minutes later saying that they should both check around again and see if they can find it. Ok, fine, Jade did that and found nothing again. Then, that night, Katie called Jade and told her that she found the cell phone in a bag in the garbage. She said she did not find the sweatshirt but bought Jade another one. I do not for a minute believe Katies story. She said that she told her mom about it, but I dont believe that either. I told Jade that she must have felt very guilty after Jade confronted her and made up the garbage story and said she could not find the sweatshirt, because then it would really look she was a thief if she found both of them. I mean, like something is going to stay in a garbage for 3 weeks? I dont think so. Jade was disappointed to hear my take on the story Katie gave, but agreed with me after I talked with her. Katie keeps calling Jade ever since this happened, wanting to do stuff together, and Jade keeps making up excuses. What do you think we should do? Call her parents and talk with them? Forget her, she is trouble in the making? Forgive her mistake and try to trust her again? I need some advice and appreciate any response you could give us. Jade is still very upset about this and would like to solve it. Thanks everyone! Mom of upset daughter
P1xie Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Do you really think Katie's mom would care or do anything about it? Kids all make mistakes. If Jade really wants her as a friend I would give Katie a second chance. Your family maybe a good outlet for her. I would sit down with Katie yourself like you would if it was your own daughter. Warn her if it happens again she will no longer be welcomed in your home.
norajane Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Poor kid - both of them. I really feel for Katie, though, as it sounds like her home life is a mess. She probably wishes she had a home life like your daughter does. Her taking things might just be a wish to have something of her own, or to have *something* like Jade does. I don't know the psychology behind that sort of thing, but it doesn't sound like she's a bad kid. It sounds like she might just be acting out some of her troubles. I think kindness and compassion would go a lot further than shutting her out of Jade's life. I don't know how to deal with the issue...maybe you can Google something about children and shoplifting and get some insights?
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