Confuggled_one Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 When a couple argues, is it wrong to tell a friend or a few that yo have been arguging about the most ridiculous things? cause my girlfriend just flips out on me whenever i tell people.. well just gimme some insight. thanks.
destination_unknown Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 K, who are you telling? You should be able to discuss your relationship issues with one really close friend. And you should be absolutely sure you can trust that person to be discrete and not interfere. When you tell friends a problem, what you want is their advice and support. They shouldn't disclose what you have told them to your girlfriend or anyone else, nor should they try to interfere in your relationship. Do you feel like you can't talk to your girl about these problems? Thats what it sounds like from your other thread. How do you approach her and how does she react?
Pink Amulet Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Bitching about my ex to my friends was one of my favourite pastimes. I am sure he did the same. It's probably not healthy, but come on, we all do it.
Chinook Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Bitching about my ex to my friends was one of my favourite pastimes. I am sure he did the same. It's probably not healthy, but come on, we all do it. Yeah and we all bitch about it here too
whichwayisup Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 I'm surprised your girlfriend reacted like that, just because I'm sure she's probably "discussed" things with HER friends about you. Pick one or two close buddies so you can vent/talk to. Don't talk to people who see you two daily as a couple or are close to her as well...That could cause some problems. And, coming here to LS is a good thing! We all have moments and bad days when we need to let loose about stuff. Head to the Rant/confession section anytime you feel like letting it out.
Adunaphel Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 I guess that it depends on the friends. And on your and your SO's personality. A friend of the same sex who does not know your partner... fine. A common friend... well, you could shed a bad light on your partner even if you do not mean to...I can see why your partner might get upset. A friend of the opposite sex... it could be considered inappropriate by some people. A friend of the possite sex, whom you find attractive, or that finds you attractive, or shom your partner does not like or trust.... big red flag.
Author Confuggled_one Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 yes, she doesnt want to listen to what i say. I tell close friends.. and i dont even tell other friends... and they just observe how she treats me. she thinks i tell them everything, which i have not been doing.. and she accuses me of things because earlier i had to lie to her about things such as friends disliking her. so im confused... is it really that wrong to tell??
P1xie Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 She is probably going to be real angry now you have just told thousands of people! It's natural to talk to people about their problems. It gives you a better insight of what is going on. It does depend on who you are talking to. I don't have many friends so I tend to confine in my mom and family. Bad idea, but I have no one else to turn to. My family never says anything ill but they can't help but dislike him some because of the things I told them. Yes they do believe there are two sides to every story and are never rude to him. He tends to feel uncomfortable going over my family's because of this. I tell him I can care less if he bitches about me to his friends, or family but I will not tolerate him bitching about me to his 10 year son. That is inappropriate and a topic all in it's own.
Author Confuggled_one Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 oh the thing is, i dont tell thousands of people. i only talk to around like 3-5 of my close friends that never spill anything. the others just observe on the way she treats me and find it very rude of her. they know how she treats me because they watched the way she has treated me.. she is not ashamed of being mean to me in public. that's what i mean
norajane Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 oh the thing is, i dont tell thousands of people. i only talk to around like 3-5 of my close friends that never spill anything. the others just observe on the way she treats me and find it very rude of her. they know how she treats me because they watched the way she has treated me.. she is not ashamed of being mean to me in public. that's what i mean Maybe you ought to pay attention to what your friends are saying, to the way she treats you, and to what you are saying to your friends. If you're always complaining and she's mean to you, then maybe you should break up with her. It doesn't sound like her being mad because you talk to your friends is the biggest problem in your relationship. The way she's treating you is a much bigger problem.
P1xie Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 oh the thing is, i dont tell thousands of people. i only talk to around like 3-5 of my close friends that never spill anything. the others just observe on the way she treats me and find it very rude of her. they know how she treats me because they watched the way she has treated me.. she is not ashamed of being mean to me in public. that's what i mean I was making a joke because you posted your problems here on LS Better erase your history
Author Confuggled_one Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 you guys are right. it's just that i cant handle her calling me a liar.. and im that kind of person... i think i have codependency.. and that i always want to fix things and want them to be my way. but i've come to the realization that things wont be my way.. and im trying realyl hard to let go. thanks for your suggestions guys.
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