unfinite Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 We were dating for 11 months, I went on a family vacation and she left me for one of my friends. I love her so much and I'm willing to do anything to have another chance with her. But I don't want this anymore. I know that I'm never going to get her back, and If I try to, it will only make it worse for both of us. I can't stop thinking about them together, I can't stop thinking about her and what we had together. It's only been getting worse over this past month and I want the pain to end. She is doing things now that she would never have done before, she is making very stupid choices, and she doesn't care about anybody but herself. This isn't how she used to act and I'm so upset that things in her life have gotten so screwed up since I left. I know that makes it sound really self centered but everything around us was so much better when we were together...her family is falling apart because she wants to leave them when her new boyfriend goes back to college. I have seen them around places and I have minded my own business, but her new boyfriend is a big jerk and hates me now. I was seeing another girl for a couple dates and wanted to take her to a place that I had taken my ex to many times before. I saw that my ex and her new boyfriend were already there in his car so I turned around and left...my heart aching the whole time but I was trying to hide it from my date. Instead of going on with what they were doing, he turned on his car and chased me to a stop sign where I stopped but he drove past and parked his car sideways in front of mine so I couldn't leave. Then he got out of his car and walked over to fight me so I put the car in reverse and got enough room between the two cars so that I could get past. I knew that I still loved her and my date saw my face when I saw them together so we are no longer together, mutually. I do love her though, and no matter how hard I try to forget about her, It only gets worse. Her new boyfriend drives a volkswaggen and everytime one drives past me, it hurts a little. And there are also other things that make me remember her that no matter how hard I try to forget, still hurt me. Her new boyfriends name is will, so whenever im talking to someone and it is used as the word will, it hurts. I am reminded of her, and them, everywhere I go. and when I'm alone it's all I can think about. I want the pain to stop. I can't sleep, I've lost weight, I cry at night, my whole body goes numb. I love her so much but I need to stop loving her. Somebody must know what to do, I've tried hanging out with my friends more, I've gone for rides on my motorcycle to clear my head, I've tried dating other people...nothing works... and on top of loveing her already, I miss her more and more everyday which make it even harder. There is so much more to this then what I have said here. I've posted in other threads a lot before so if anyone is interested, check it out.
Yamaha Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 All the things you are experiencing are normal after a break-up. There is no magic pill to end the pain, only time. You must not take her leaving you so personally. Things just didn't work out for the two of you. It is not her fault nor yours. You just are not meant to be together. Take time to recover and don't date to early. It is painful and you will miss her but these emotions will ebb over time. Keep yourself as busy as you can and try to keep your mind on other things. You will have good days and bad ones so just hang in there. If things get worse or you go into a deep depression and can't function then you may need some professional help.
burning 4 revenge Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 kid, you're eighteen years old. you got a clean slate and a co*k made of steel. go work out and join a rock band, get drunk and have some fun, you have soooooo many good times ahead of you
johnnytable Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 It sounds like you are going through the normal process. Don't be affraid of this. You need to feel the pain and emotions to get through them. I think that you are doing the right things. Know that you need to heal and that you will go through pain during this process. It really really sucks but you will pull through it. Make sure that you don't call, email, or talk to your ex. She left you for one of your "friends"? Not cool. There are many good threads on this board and I suggest reading them. Keep posting about what you are going through as we are here to help. How long have you been broken up for? Don't worry about dating right now, although going out with women and getting to know them is helpful. But trust me, finding a new woman will not automatically "cure" you at this stage in the healing. People think that is the cure to heartbreak. Being with somebody new really only helps when you are ready for that, which you clearly aren't.
Author unfinite Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 How long have you been broken up for? It's been a month now. we were together for almost 11 months.
Author unfinite Posted August 6, 2006 Author Posted August 6, 2006 Just another thing... How is it that our relationship had so many problems, and we stayed together even with them, and I see now that I was stupid to want her back, but I still love her? I still really do, maybe even more now that I'm not with her...I made a lot of mistakes during our relationship. I regret every single one of them and wish that I had learned what to do in that situation without screwing it up first. First I'll list her problems. She never did anything for me, the whole relationship was me chasing her, making her happy, while she sat back and used me. I tried so hard to make us work, but she didn't do anything to help us stay together. She doubted that I loved her on many occasions, accused me of never loving her because after we broke up I went out with one of her friends. She would never believed anyone unless it was something bad. If she recieved a compliment she knew it couldnt be true. She would always vent bad things about me to her friends, never talked to me about what was wrong but expect me to figure it out. Every thing was "my fault" and I was the one that had to change for her...she never did anything wrong. When I did change and do the things she wanted me to do, she treated me even worse, because she knew she had control, and she must have found it un-manly that I was giving in to her and changing my ways because of her. She had a crush on 2 of my friends while we were going out. Now that I've got that out, here's what I screwed up on (she was my first major girlfriend, I had very little prior dating experience) First thing I did wrong would probably have to be that I didn't tell her I loved her untill we had been going out for around 8 months. But when I finally did, I really ment it. Next would be I was cheap in the begining of the relationship. I didn't pay for her all of the time because I was saving up to buy a motorcycle. I didn't do anything special for valentines day because I failed my drivers test a couple days before which meant I couldn't take her anywhere, or buy her a gift (I live out in the boonies). I also messed up prom...It was my prom, and all of my friends were telling me that it was going to suck, and that they regreted buying tickets for it, so I didn't bother getting any. It turned out though that my girlfriend wanted to go but didn't tell me. So one of my now EX friends asked her to go (as friends apparently), and she accepted. When I found out, I told her that I would take her and she canceled with my friend and I took her. But I screwed up that night when she said that I could go to the casino with my friends, but apparently she didn't actually mean it, and I should have seen that. I made it up to her when I got back, but the damage of everything that has happened built up along with that. I rarely showed her how much I cared about her. And so she assumed I didn't. I learnt from every mistake I made and I have improved from them, and I want to show her that Im not like that anymore, but she still uses them as the reason we broke up. With all that, I still don't know why I love her, but I do. I try to convince myself otherwise, but It always comes back. I looked forward to all the things we could do this summer, but she dumped me before I had a chance to show her that I was different than before. I don't know how to forget about her, because the harder I try, the more I miss her. I would love to get back together with her, she made me so happy, and I loved to make her happy. But since that's her choice, I can't do anything. So I want to just forget that I love her and move on.
johnnytable Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 This stuff is normal. I was going through the exact same things just recently. Your brain plays funny tricks on you. For example I think that I love my ex, even though I know that she does not love me and that she is not "right" for me. I am surviving because I am not in contact with her... otherwise it would be pretty hard I think. You have a heart (which is broken) that says one thing and a brain that says another. Its time to use the brain for awhile.
Brittjean06 Posted August 6, 2006 Posted August 6, 2006 Yeah your young like me but that doesn't help much when your going through this. Though with time youll see the meaning of that advice. Right now your in the midst of this your in the moment the only thing we can tell you is time will help hope for time. Stay in for a little bit. But let me tell you a year from now ( which will go quicker than you think ) you will be enjoying your self again.
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