Loserdude Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Okay, here's the deal: I am a fairly conservative guy. I met a girl in April, really sweet and all that and we fall in love. Turns out she lied to me about her career - said she was a script editor. Turns out she was a stripper. Two weeks ago she started doing it again - and she's pretty good at it. Did not ask me how I felt about it (I tried to be supportive) and claims she has no other choice to maintain the lifestyle she has. I am ready to bail - I can't really handle having a stripper girlfriend but I haven't told her this. And to top it off, SHE gets mad at ME when I don't support her after a crappy day at the strip club. How bad is that? SHould I tell her that I am going to bail for this reason? She claims that she hates doing it - I believe her there but it is still her choice, right? If I tell her that that's the reason I am bailing I will make her feel worse so I kind of just want to say "there are too many differences..." blah blah...
JamesM Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 First off, a loserdude would not be able to get a stripper. Trust me...I think these girls are more cynical of guys. And now to answer your "question"...am I stupid or is it stupid or am I being intolerable because my girlfriend is a stripper? My opinions don't matter but I will give them. No, I don't think you are stupid or intolerant. Personally, I could not handle it. If my wife/girlfriend felt that she needed to show off her body to men so that they can leer at her and disrespect her...forget it. I would bail. And knowing that many strippers do lap dances...which are basically opportunities for men to feel them any and everwhere possible, and yes, the "good" strippers feel them back...no, I could not handle this. Personally, my feelings is that a woman actually degrades women more by doing that profession. Yes, I admit...watching strippers can be "fun," but being in your position would not be. So, as I said, it doesn't matter if I can handle it...can YOU?
norajane Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 script editor...stripper Gee, funny how they sound so similar. Guess that's so she can later say 'oh, no, i said stripper. you must have misunderstood.' Or is that in case she slips up and tell her mom she's a stripper, oops, misspoke, script editor? If she's telling you she has no choice but to strip to support her lifestyle, do you really share the same values? If not, what's the point of continuing this relationship? You know you're not going to be able to stand it for much longer. End it now.
tinktronik Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Do your G/f a favor .tell her you can not handle what she does for a living then break it off. This is her job and if she has been living to such a standard that she feels she Must do it to pay the bills , or whatever , she should at least know that the other person important to her has a problem with it. If you can't live with it , you just can't , there's nothing wrong with that . But let her know.
Walk Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 My brother married a stripper. Nice girl, but severe mental problems. Really intellegent too. She got her AA degree in Biology, even though she dropped out of high-school in the 9th grade.. They're divorced now, but it wasn't directly because of the stripping. She really needed some antidepressents. Anyway, she used to make above $60,000 a year stripping. She gave up stripping to make my brother happy... Its a really hard lifestyle, a lot of emotional battering, resentment, anger, and conflicting feelings. That part of it really wore on my brother. He never had a problem with her being naked in front of other guys as long as she didn't sleep with them. But it caused a lot of strain because of the mental repercussions of the job. That's what he couldn't handle, so he asked her to stop. (She wanted to quit too, so he didin't have to say much to convince her.) Tell her the truth. If you gave her a BS line, she'll know it's BS. Besides, I think she'd have more respect for you if you were honest about how you feel and were willing to stand up for what you believe in. I know I would. Just be civil about it, and don't be derogatory toward HER life style choice. This is about how it fits/doesn't fit into your life... not to bash her for her choice of earning income.
Loserdude Posted August 10, 2006 Posted August 10, 2006 You people have been really great. I really appreciate the thoughts on this matter as I have been stressed about it and I really do not want to talk to my friends about it so as not to sully her ostensibly good reputation. To clarify, she had done this years ago, stopped, got married, got abused, got divorced, tried to find a roomate/freind/family which didn't work then moved into her own place and started stripping again. I met her after divorce, but before her restarting her 'career' As an aside, she has said to me that she doesn't want her job choice to color my view of her but she has already told me way too much info - reminds me of what "Walk's" brother went through but in addition, I really cannot handle her being naked in front of guys. It really kills me because I have a very dear love for her. Norajane, I think you hit the nail on the head regarding values. Before I met her I had gone to this place occasionally but I have since swore them off for obvious reasons. The bottom line is that I cannot handle it. I suggested that last night in an e-mail and will be more direct this weekend. Again, thank you all again for your time and insights.
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