Butterflying Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Thanks to all the wonderful advice from a lot you you here, I've made some positive changes in my personal relationships. I've totally cut ties with all my FWB's. Since I still don't have a man, it's been 5 months since I had sex. That's longest time I've ever gone without sex. But I'm okay with it. So I recently met this guy, Andrew at work. We work in the same business park (different companies/ buildings). Occasionally, his job brings him to my office. He's a manager at his company. I'd seen him before and was physically attracted since the first time I saw him. Didn't think much of it until last week when he approaced me with a work related issue. We started talking about personal things and realized that we have a lot in common. We exchanged numbers. We talk on the phone almost every day. Last night, we went on our first date. We both work late evenings so we went to a local bar and grill to have drinks after work. The conversation got very erotic as we were leaving the bar. We weren't ready to end the date yet so we went across the street to a public park to talk. We found a secluded area at the park. We were horny from our conversation at the bar. First we were holding hands. Then we were kissing. Next thing I know, I'm half naked. His hands were between my legs. And I was moaning for him to f-ck me. But then I realized how many times in the past I'd been in that same position. Ironically, one of my FWB's and I had sex at that same park once. Andrew is a great man with most of the qualities I would like in a serious parnter. So I stopped us from going further into sex last night because I was afraid he might become another FWB, or a one night stand. He seemed to understand and respect my reasoning. But he insist that we will have sex sometime in the near future if I'm willing. I want to have sex with him sooo bad. Especially after last night. But I also want to have a meaningful relationship with him that's more than sex. How do I obtain this without scaring him away?
norajane Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Do exactly what you're doing, although do it a bit sooner. Meaning, go out with him, but stop the sexual contact before his hand is up your skirt. Also, make sure you ask if he's married or seeing anyone else, or dating a lot of people. He might not be as interested in a serious relationship as you are.
Author Butterflying Posted August 5, 2006 Author Posted August 5, 2006 Thanks. I did ask if he was married and all those important questions during one of our phone conversations. We discussed it again in more detail last night too. He's never been married. No children. Social drinker. Non-smoker. High integrity. The list goes on and on. Apparently, he hasn't been lucky in relationships in the past. His most recent relationship ended 1 1/2 months ago because his XGF cheated on him. He was very confident that he no longer wants to be involved with her in any way. He didn't seem bitter about anything. Basically, he's just a happy guy who enjoys laughing and making other people happy. I joked about him "wearing his heart on his sleeves." He disagreed and said he trust people until they give him a reason not to. And he treats people the way he wants to be treated. I was just amazed because I can't imagine anyone mistreating him. He's not too nice, or too aggressive. He could be a player. But players don't usually complain about GF's cheating. They usually complain that a GF was a b*tch and argued too much. So I don't know...
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