nertil1 Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 I'm having a little problem. I have known this girl at work for about two years and we're great friends. i think she likes me but she does have a boyfriend. They have been together for 5 years and they live together. I know that she does not like him anymore because she is always talking **** about him, like how he makes her cry and ignores her all the time. She keps telling me that she wants to break up with him, but that she can't because she has nowhere to go if they do breakup since they live together. Since she doesn't want anything to change, she just deals with it I guess. I tell her all the time that he doesn't deserve her and she needs someone to treat her better, but she still doesn't do anything about it. I have very strong feelings for her but I'm not sure if I should tell her because it might ruin our friendship. Should I tell her hot I feel?
Tony T Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Always tell people exactly how you feel...clear the air. Don't do it too soon, though, and do it at the right time. Timing is everything. If you don't express your feelings you can never know what might have been. If you express your feelings too soon or too late, what might have been won't have happened.
Outcast Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 If you don't express your feelings you can never know what might have been. If you express your feelings too soon or too late, what might have been won't have happened. Oh well then! Piece of cake! Like falling off a log! Tony T, if it were that simple, LS wouldn't exist. 'No pressure at all, just be sure you get the exactly particularly perfect moment right or you're toast'. AUGH!
Author nertil1 Posted August 26, 2006 Author Posted August 26, 2006 Well I didn't tell her but she broke up with him about 3 weeks ago and i'm going to try and ask her out tomorrow. i just hope I don't get the "i think of you as a friend" crap
monkey00 Posted August 26, 2006 Posted August 26, 2006 Let's get this straight, you've known this girl for 2 years. Is she a co-worker friend, or an all around friend in and out of the office? Based on what you say, i dont like where any of this is headed. 1)So she b*tches to you about her bf, it's already a bad sign. A) girls that are interested in a guy usually dont wine in front of him about her problems. Neither does playing therapist for a girl will help you escape the friend zone. 2) she just broke up with him, again a bad sign. A) maybe she still has feelings for him who knows, but if she's tying up loose ends, she's about to move out and try to get back on her feet without the ex's help...she will need time. B) confessing your feelings to a girl that isn't ready to move on makes you an easy target for Mr. Rebound. Dont be her victim. However...if there is another side to this: 1) she's not attracted to the ex, is the dumper, ready to move on. a) i think its worth a shot. ask her out to dinner or make a move. Generally i find women more responsive to guys that express themselves physically moreso than verbally.
Author nertil1 Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 well i finally decided to ask her out. i didn't actually say "let's go out" I just said let's go catch a movie and she said yes. I told her i'd call her on the day that we would go to tell her when i'd pick her up and she says ok. I called her twice that day and I even sent her a text message. She never called back. i called her again the day after and the day after that and she still didn't pick up. I haven't seen her in two weeks because i took some vacation time from the place that we both works. Is it just me or is she just being a bitch? She always does this to me. Like at work we talk and goof around but when it's outside of work, she never calls me or anything. I'm starting to think I'm just somebody she can talk to at work to keep her laughing or whatnot, but not a real friend. I don't even want to talk to her anymore. Maybe I'm just paranoid, i don't know. What do you guys think?
abitconfused Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Hey dude. I just want to let you know I have a similar problem. I have posted here about it before. The only difference is I have known her for 1 1/2 years or so and she has a fiance' and a child that is a year old. I my case she would flirt at work --touching, call me out side of work we even did a few things together. I know she was interested but she won't leave the guy. No one likes him but her. But no one can tell her anything. I don't think she will ever leave him. It sucks beacuse she does not have to live the life she has and she would be happy with me. I took a vacation day off from work to be with her and she ends up with issues and in the end I wasted a day, was pissed off and all she could say was sorry, nothing more like I will make it up to you. SO enough of my problems but giving you an example. I think she was not getting any attention at home and I was giving it to her. So its similar to you. I played counselor and she would call me all hours. I was screwed over. It appears as so were you. Just let it be. Just keep to business at work for a while. Nothing personal. From what I heard they will come back looking for the attention. Just dont be hurt like me. I was planning to change my life for her and it was nothing more than a game to her. I see her already looking for attention from others because she does not get it from me anymore. Thats all she wants kinda just like your friend.
nice1_hurting Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Even if she didn't love her boyfriend anymore.. ending a relationship of that magnitude can take it's toll.. Perhaps she just isn't ready to get into anything. Maybe she knows you like her and isn't sure she is fully healed from her last relationship.
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