pricillia Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 My current boyfriend just really got me ticked off. He gets so mad even if I have general conversation with this one particular man.. I don't have feelings for him at all just some one that I say hi how are you... The jealousy part is starting to kill it for me how do I get my man to stop being jealous... It is not me trust me I don't flirt with this guy but for some reason he gets so jealous... I need help on how to stop this...
superconductor Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 You may not have feelings for this particular fellow, but your bf obviously gets the impression that he - the other guy - might have feelings for you. If the other fellow is just an acquaintance and doesn't really impact your life one way or the other, then maybe you should ask yourself why you continue to engage in conversation with him when you know it drives your bf to distraction. As for your bf, he may have seen a similar situation play out before you arrived on the scene that ended in heartbreak for him (or someone he knows). Best get to the bottom of this before it becomes even worse, because left unattended, it will get worse.
Author pricillia Posted August 5, 2006 Author Posted August 5, 2006 Thanks superconductor! I am trying to get to the bottom of it... I know that he was hurt before and I understand that. But I work in the same building as the person I talk to. He hopefully will trust me and have some faith in me like I do in him. He was away for two weeks and when we first saw each other it was great. I said hi to this other person and bam... attitude changes! I tried to talk to him about it but he changed the subject and was not his warm self. It is getting the better of him, and I am getting turned off.
superconductor Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 To get to the bottom of this, you're going to have to speak his language. When you lead with "feelings" stuff - which is not a man's natural dialect - he'll probably end up shutting down. So when you talk to him about this, be clear and direct and as unemotional as possible. Talk about results. Whether you're getting turned off or not isn't the issue, at least to him. He's undoubtedly afraid of having his history replay itself, which puts his entire manhood in question. ("Why does this always happen to me? What is it about me that drives women away?" kind of stuff.) Since you're in the same building as this other fellow (do you and he work together? or just happen to share an elevator on occasion?) then it would be pretty hard to avoid him. So state that to your bf. Then follow up with some sort of statement that you are not, and have never been, romantically interested in this other man. Your bf will have to man up, too. There are things in this world that he can't control, and other men aren't going to go away. Good luck.
Author pricillia Posted August 5, 2006 Author Posted August 5, 2006 sounds good. I will keep the emotional out of it. I don't just want to walk away from this relationship. I hear his voice and I smile. You made it clear on what he could be thinking. I am meeting him at 11.00 let's see how I do. I hate fighting about this. So far I have done alright but... we will see Thanks again superconductor
superconductor Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 Good luck. Keep us posted, we're here to help.
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