HopefulOne Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Okay, I so want to pick up the phone and call... I don't know why ?? I am trying really hard not to think about any of this but I can't get it out of my head. He left me in a state of confusion and while my rational mind tells me that obviously he doesn't care and doesn't want to be with me, my insides are screaming.......
Mollyanna Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Hang in there! I am doing the same exact thing. Woke up thinking about him and everytime the phone rings, I RUN to it. I am telling myself - why be a pest and call someone who doesn't want me? I do not want to be somewhere I am not wanted.
Author HopefulOne Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 Hang in there! I am doing the same exact thing. Woke up thinking about him and everytime the phone rings, I RUN to it. I am telling myself - why be a pest and call someone who doesn't want me? I do not want to be somewhere I am not wanted. Yes, I know... I want answers but ACTIONS speak so much louder... Not even answers, how about some respect for the relationship we had, why does it have to end of this note ????
Mollyanna Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I'm lucky this time. He gave me answers, but that just led to me wanting more and more and more. But I have been where you are. I invented reasons and made myself nuts. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. Keep yourself busy so you don't think about it as much. Even a little time away from your thoughts gives you some peace. Like tonight, I am going to a friend's house even though I really feel like laying here feeling sorry for myself. We have to take care of ourselves. There is no one else to do it. Screw them. If they can't appreciate what they had, they don't deserve us.
Diver012 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Yes, I know... I want answers but ACTIONS speak so much louder... Not even answers, how about some respect for the relationship we had, why does it have to end of this note ???? Thats the entire point. It didnt HAVE to end on this note, he chose to end it this way. Is this the type of person you want to spend your time with? I didnt get any answers either. SO I made my own up. I don't even want to know what her answers are anymore because I could care less. Come up with your own closure and move ahead. You can do it!!
leopardprint Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 HopefulOne, I'm there with you 110%. I recently initiated NC with my "ex". He broke it off with me (in short) because he needed time for himself. He said he didn't want to lose his best friend and stop talking to me, but everytime I would talk with him, all I wanted was answers and a solution to fix things and be together again. I tried to pretend like I wasn't bothered by what was going on, but everytime I spoke with him, I wanted to cry out how much I didn't want to lose him and how much I loved him. After a week of that, I finally told him I couldn't keep pretending. I started NC and have felt so lost ever since. I keep feeling the urge to call him at night. I reach for my cell, open it, and bring his name up, but before I press send, I quickly shut it. I actually can't believe I've managed to stay away from him for this entire pass week. The real thing that's helped me, I know this may sound funny, but like AA and such organizations, I have a friend who's been actting like my own personal sponsor - everytime I feel the need to call him, I call her, and we talk. Being on the phone with her, for one, prevents me from being on the phone with him because I am on the phone with HER already. She also helps me get what's off my chest. I know it's not like I'm telling him, which is what I want to do, but it's better then keeping it locked up inside.
Mollyanna Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 oh god I need a surrogate friend like yours. I was doing well. Went out and didn't take my cell phone with me. But the minute I got into my car, there it was... and I called twice! didn't leave messages. but now he will call back and now I am supposed to not answer??????? god I am a horrible drunk dialer
Author HopefulOne Posted August 5, 2006 Author Posted August 5, 2006 I guess part of my problem is I didn't get anything from, all I got was a text message and even upon my asking if he wanted to be left alone (meaning did he want to go his own way) and I was being nice and sincere about it. After about a week after I left a apology message, he texted me no ones right and no ones wrong, just different outlooks, just not compatible, I am angry at you and I can't talk yet. All I texted back was I understand, thanks for answering, I do appreciate it. Okay, Okay..... there it is, the writing on the wall... I haven't called or texted since nor has he. That was over a week ago..... Oh and I do have a friend like that, she is always like when you feel the urge to call or whatever --CALL ME... !!!
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