almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 My bf owes his exw back child support around $4000. We wrote out an agreement saying that he is to pay he $30 extra a week until it is paid. Thats about all it said. There wasnt any catches in it or anything. And they agreed to that amount per week so it wasn't a surprise and we knew that amount would be ok. We gave the agreement to her 2 months ago when she forst brought it up. My bf was providing child care for the kids while he was off instead of child support saving her money too but she still wants that amount. We arent going to argue it...and we cant. She never signed the order and she called last week asking why we arent paying the extra yet. My bf said not til you sign the agreement. We both want to start paying her so we can catch up but we dont want to pay if there isnt an agreement signed because then she can say that wasnt for child support is was for an increase. He has been paying for two years but until i started keeping records and reciepts my bf has nothing to show for past payments. She wants him to "take her word that she wont come back to him later on this" so she doesnt want to sign anything. She cheated on him. she already has proven herself deceitful. We are thinking if we send out a check with the $30 added on every week and write in the memo that $30 is for back child support that if she cashes it then it is her way of saying i accept this back support payment. Can this hold up in court? Would you pay her the back child support without this agreement signed? I dont know how to deal with her. we dont feel that signing something to show you agree with this is too terrible of a thing to ask. We dont want to get stuck repaying her the money if she takes us to court. Any suggestions?
climbergirl Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I would suggest writing a separate check (easier to track)for the back support--adding in the memo.."back support" and the deducted amount.
climbergirl Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I also want to add that I agree with you--very strange that she won't sign anything. Can you call child support services and mail them the back support so they have a record?
tinktronik Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 One of the best things I have done was go to court over my CP issues . First off I was ordered to pay no support in our original Divorce paperwork.But then the ex moves to another state and I started to pay , for a long time whenever he got angry he would threaten to take me to court and get ordered support .Well he finnally contacted the CP agency to go to court and they order less than I've been paying him for years. It is hard to let the state get involved for financial issues and does not work out well for a lot of people , but if you cannot come to a reliable agreement with your bf's ex, you do need the courts help.Don't let her walk all over you.
Author almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 Thanks for the comments. The deducted amount was another thing i was thinking. I figured that every week in the memo I will write the amount left to pay minus the $30 for that week. It would be like a running tally. That way it its very clear that we are doing it and the amount we have to pay. We cannot go through the court right now because my bf just started a new job in March and he has been working 60 -80 hours a week every week. Its HVAC and some what considered seasonal because the hours drop to 30-40hours a week in 3 seasons a year (with spurts of busy periods). Right now if she took us to court a lawyer told me that they would average the 32% on the hours he is making right now since the start of this job. Its an insane amount of money that he would have to keep paying even though he would slow down next month. I work payroll so I know that they cannot take the whole amount if you cannot pay it but they do keep record and consider that back child support. Its a mess right now and all i want to do is pay her her money so she stops this. I was thinking about just saving his extra money right now for all this overtime and paying her a lump sum of $3500 (she now says the amount is lower then the $4050 she claimed before). I was thinking if she was presented with a check for a couple thousand dollars it might give her the incentive to sign the agreement. I just dont know what to do with her anymore. We are trying to make up the money she missed out on and quickly for the kids and for us but she wont comply. She gets mad because my bf doesnt trust her. Imagine that!!
tinktronik Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Do you tally in the ammount of time your bf has the kids while she works . Many states take his income , her income , the % of time each parent has the kids and work it thru that equasion . So if he has them a lot he should not have to pay some rediculus amount.
Author almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 I tried that. I called a lawyer and because we live in IL it is a flat rate of 32% no matter what the time is that he has the kids. she is consider the custodial parent so we are screwed. the whole time he was unemployed we drove the kids to and from school (well he did I was at work) fed them breakfast and dinner with food we bought 6 days a week and had them from 5:00 am to 6:00pm everyday. even when my bf had a cash job to do he still had to go into work late to drop the kids off and stop to bring his yongest to kindergarten and then quit for the day in order to go pick them up from school. he could only get in probably 4 or 5 hours a day because of this. according to the lawyers i spoke to this will not hold up in court. we still owe. And to top it off he never has keep a paper trail of what has been paid before me. there is 2 years of payments unaccounted for totaling about $16000.00. since he cant prove he paid we could get stuck paying that too. I really hate this mess. i just wish we could work it out.
tinktronik Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 He's given her cash and gotten no reciepts??? WHY?
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Is write two seperate checks, one for the regular monthly amount, and write in the Memo section "Reg. Child Sup. f/ Aug." The second for the back child support, and write in the Memo section write "Back Child Sup. $30 of $3950 owed" With women like his ex, he's going to need to docuement everything, its never going to be enough with her, and its always going to be "something" with her. Go to Wallyworld and get a journal. Write down when you picked up the kids, dropped off the kids, fed the kids, bought clothes or something for the kids, etc. As I said, with her its always going to be "something" or one issue after the other ~ usually associated with trying to extort money out of him either thorugh guilt or some other angle. He should reach around and give himself a pat on the back ~ sounds like he "traded up" significantly from the last GF!
Author almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 I honestly dont know why he did that. that was done before we met. since he started this job in March I have been keeping thorough records of every penny out (including receipts). I have been asking him to send her checks so we have a better paper trail but he doesnt want to argue with her so he argues with me instead and keeps driving money orders out to her after work eveyr thursday (thats a whole other post!!). Next wednesday will be our first mailing of check...finally! But going back to your question...i have no idea why he did that. I guess he trusted her?? Or maybe had no clue about how detailed this stuff really is?? He also furnished her house she moved into with the kids. $6000 worth of furniture (why again i dont know) no receipts for that either. Sometimes I wished i could have divorced him instead of my exh....lol. I got screwed!
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Write in the endorsement portion of the check, "For back child support 01/01/04-01/01/05 paid in full" Its not Iron Clad but, it will give you a good strong argument and counter-point especially if she endorsets and cashes it. She could, prior to signing write ~ accepted as partial payment for back child support 01/01/04-01/01/05 Not Paid In Full" But I doubt she's got the where-with-all to know to do that. Like I said you're going to have to document everything, not just the CS issue. Its never going to be enough with this woman ~ its always going to be something usually related in some way to money. If not CS then school clothes, bracces, dentist, medical bills, freaking violin lessons, the goldfish foodbill ~ something.
Author almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 ok...i think i got it... in the memo of the first check i will write (very small inorder to fit it all...lol) ...back child support pymt ($30 incl in reg $137 pymt) for 04/2004 - 04/2006. owed $4000 back child support total. I will put it all in one check so she has to cash it to get her normal amount. then she signed it so it can be used in court as an agreement since she signed it. Right? I think thats good. Then after that i will just write back child support and how much is left to pay in the memo of all the other checks (and i will send out two seperate checks). Then on the last check i will send out one check for the full amount of normal child support and then th extra back child support and write paid in full child support is current as of (whatever date the final check is written on). That could work right? If she doesnt sign the check because it is on there then i guess i ran out of checks and cannot rewrite it so she has to.
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 But, you wouldn't nor should you write paid in full on "regular" child support check ~ just the last back child support check. The next one? Yea it would be a good idea to write that and include both amounts as you stated. Its not an "absolute defense" but it makes for a damn good argument, that by endorsing the check(s), she agrees to these payment terms, and limits her "Yea, But's" If you really just want to p**** her off, write in red ink about the date the words, "Void If Cashed Before 08/04/06" I did it to make sure that it got to her on time (before my bi-monthly payday) but to keep her from cashing the check before my check hit the bank. Man!!! Did that use to make her mad!! I was tempted to write on one that it was "Void Unless Bearer Shakes Her Boddie In Front Of the Casher To The Tune of "Shake Your Boddie, Now!" (The one that goes, "Make my day! Make my day, now!"
Gunny376 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Just tell her, "You got your money" and then shut up! For the Love of God, don't explain all of this to her, whatever you do!
Author almostthere Posted August 4, 2006 Author Posted August 4, 2006 Thats pretty funny. I am pretty sure my bf would kill me after she reamed him out for what i did. We arent saying a word to her or anyone else. This is strictly between the two of us. the "c" word (court) has become a taboo and never mentioned in anyone's presence. She isnt a very smart person from what I have noticed and have been told so unless her bf is i dont think we have to worry way too much. Since you have paid child support before maybe you can help answer this other question I have... My bf just started his job in march of this year. for his whole adult life he has only made $20,000/year (gross) but other money in cash jobs that no one can prove during his marriage. That would be 14 years. Now he will probably see about $50-$60K this year. Will they take just this job to figure out child support or will they take an average of his past too? We could end up paying $1400 per month in child support if they only use this job because it is HVAC and summer is very busy. he is working 70 - 80 hours a week and has been since april. after sept it slows down to about 30 -40 hours a week. then we will get screwed because we would be paying a huge amount in child support. Do you know how they figure that out? If not thats ok...i was just wondering.
Gunny376 Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 They combine his gross income with her gross income to come up with a net total between the two. They use the total gross amount to divide into each party's individual gross income ~ to come up with each individual's percentage. Then they look at a chart which gives the state's guidelines of how much is needed to support X amount of children. Multiply the percentage of each individual's gross income. Typically the percentage work out to a 60/40% split between father and mother, as a rule of thumb. The chart is differenet for each state. This is because its based upon a number of statistical factors such as the mean househoild average, costs of living for that state, income poverty level. For example the mean household income for Alabama is just over $35,000 which means half of all the households in the state of Alabama earn less than $35,000 and half earn more than $35,000. In places like California, NYNY, $35,000 is barely a drop in the bucket. But, the cost of living is much lower here. A 1200 sq foot, 3 bedroom, bath and a half house in San Deigo is going for about $500,000. In Alabama that would get you a 4-5,000 sq fo mansion, with in ground swimming pool and several acres of land, etc.
Mz. Pixie Posted August 7, 2006 Posted August 7, 2006 It depends on the state. You can google child support percentages in whatever state you live in and you should be able to pull it up. Some states use a complicated method and some use a flat percentage of gross or net income.
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