Guest Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Well, I got to be that with my ex..(don't ask how, lol) but I finally found out how he really feels about me. Because they usually tell you what you want to hear so as not to hurt your feelings. This time, I got to hear him talk about me to other people and I feel like I really got to know what he thinks of me and our break up. I found out that he has no intentions of getting back together(he never told me that). He said he was done and although he still cares about me, he just wants to move on and find "the one" for him and settle down. He says he feels guilty whenever I start talking about us and he just tries to tell me anything so I'm not so sad. This man has been telling me to have patience and hope and that someday we'll be able to work things out. He always tells me he doesn't want to lose me and he hopes one day we can be together again. That was the most hurtful thing to find out that he has just been patronizing me the whole time but I'm thankful I now finally know. And all this NC stuff I was doing trying to see if he will come back to me is just useless. Now I can finally move on.
LaraV Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I'm sorry you had to "hear" that, but I guess sometimes the truth really is that liberating. Sadly, I think your X's true feelings are very similar to those of other dumpers. I think in many ways they just say things to make us not feel as pitiful, but I think sometimes the truth would do us much better.
a4a Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I'm sorry you had to "hear" that, but I guess sometimes the truth really is that liberating. Sadly, I think your X's true feelings are very similar to those of other dumpers. I think in many ways they just say things to make us not feel as pitiful, but I think sometimes the truth would do us much better. Well it is difficult for a dumper to tell the dumpee the blunt facts. You don't turn me on I find you unattractive You are not smart enough for me You lack self respect You are not ambitious Your boobies are too small Your penis is like a pencil basically anything negative........... Stringing one along is not right...... although I think many X's stay friends because they are stringing things along out of guilt.
LaraV Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Stringing one along is not right...... although I think many X's stay friends because they are stringing things along out of guilt. And yet by doing so the dumper causes more damage. Hence my not wanting to stay friends with x's (even when I've been the dumper and felt bad). And hence my not contacting my ex when he left me. I guess I remembered how incredibly difficult it is to break up with someone, so in many ways I just didn't want to make it that much more drawn out for my ex. But who knows, maybe it wasn't difficult for him at all! Oh well. Sometimes you hit the bar and sometimes the bar hits you.
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