BadGirlfriend33 Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 I broke up with my ex in December last year. It has been a long, drawn out break up. More than 9 months later, I still haven't moved on at all. I wanted the breakup, he didn't. I feel like I cannot move on until I know he is happy and settled with someone else. I loved him so much, I cared for him so much. He suffered from low self-esteem, depression and some social issues. Throughout our relationship I constantly supported him, he had never confided in anyone else in regards to his emotional problems. In the end, it became too much. I was collapasing under the weight of trying to support him. The problem is, he never intentionally did anything bad in the relationship. His emotional problems were not his fault. I feel like it is more my fault for not being able to help him in the end. He never did anything bad to me. Still, all this time later, I can't move on. I want to be able to start a new life, move on and be happy. But still, I feel so guilty for leaving him. He didn't do anything intentionally wrong. I cry all the time thinking about how hurt he is and how much I have hurt him in breaking up. I cry all the time thinking about what has happened since our breakup and how much I hurt him. I don't want to get back together, and I want to move on. How can I get over this guilt? I need to see him happy and content before I can find anyone else. I know that if I was with anyone else it will hurt him too much. We were together for four years. We had brought a house together, mapped out our life. And I realised that I could not go on in the relationship. It was to the point that his emotional problems were making me depressed and doubt my own self. Not his fault. I feel worthless for not being strong enough to stay.
Guest Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 Was he getting treatment for his depression? Depression is a disease, not a character flaw. And it's really sad how people will stay with someone who has heart problems, diabetes or cancer, but will dump someone for depression.
Returning Posted August 4, 2006 Posted August 4, 2006 You need to get a handle on your own 'Guilt'. The guy was needy and an understandable burden, he should have sorted himself out, not weighed you down. You did right to go, it would have been wrong to stay. He shuld take the opportunity to rebuild his life, get fit, seek some counselling. You on the other hand need to look within yourself to find the answers why you are feeling the way you do. The solution to your situation does not lie with another individual, a group or society, it is within you and you need to understand yourself better to be happier. Why did you enter a codependant relationship? Why do suffer from Guilt? Life is too short, get over it and enjoy yourself more.
thekhris Posted August 5, 2006 Posted August 5, 2006 just read or find tread "how to get over breakups and heal" thread..
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